Chapter 1 - Life as a Grounded Dragon

Enter Roku! The Pride of Akaten living the simple life seven years after his home and clan was destroyed. No one shares his pride and concern over the events of Heaven's Descent...Not even his mentor.

“Roku!” yelled a man with straight short hair and bangs over his left eye, “We need more sauce!”

                “I’m trying to mix this thing as fast as I can,” rebutted a young man with long hair that was in a ponytail down to his lower back, “You got on to me last time when I mixed it too fast.”

                “If you would have just mixed it the way I showed you we wouldn’t be having these problems.”

                “It’s ok sonny,” said a kind old man standing on the opposite side of a counter from the man yelling at Roku, “That’s enough sauce for me. I’m sure my noodles will be as good as always.”

                “Mr.Higifuda you are too kind,” said the man as he handed a bowl to the old man.

                “It’s only been seven years since that tragedy. Many people despise the Akaten for what happened, but why waste time,” said the old man as he was taken back to the past, “Your clan as a whole could not have been responsible for such an occurrence plus most of you did your best to make sure many of the mainlanders were safe. I respect the Akaten.”

                “We appreciate the kind words sir.”

                “Actually I don’t,” Roku said as he handed a pot to the man, “I wish everyone would just drop it. Many have rebuild their homes and moved on. I think others should follow suit….Hex if you don’t mind I’m taking a break.”

                “Roku!” Hex shouted as Roku exited the small booth they were in.

                “It’s fine…I understand Roku was a part of a pretty important family within Akaten. Some would even say his family line holds the pride of all the Akaten. Must be hard when that entire family is wiped out by a catastrophe…save for one lone child. I could hardly imagine.”

                It had been seven long and challenging years since the events known as Heaven’s Descent in which the island of Akaten fell out of the skies and made devastating impact with the mainland of Valdalstine. Akaten was an island that rested peacefully in the sky thanks to a power known to its inhabitants, a clan of the same name as the island, as the Dragon Uni Law. The Dragon Uni Law not only held the island up in the sky, but it was also the source of power for the Akaten. The Akaten had the unique ability to use their energy to communicate the dragon spirits and utilize powers based on their respective dragon spirit. The Akaten were highly respected among the mainlanders that lived under them. There are many speculations about how the island fell, which had to do with the Dragon Uni Lawb being disrupted. Some believe that the Akaten can’t be trusted and even that the island was secretly holstered up into the sky many years ago to be used to stage an attack on the mainland. Others believe that even though it makes sense for an Akaten to be responsible for the event, as the Dragon Uni Law is kept on Akaten and generally only Akaten clan members are allowed on the island, that all of Akaten should not pay for the mistake of one of their own.

                The catastrophe destroyed majority of Valeaf, the capital of Valdalstine, leaving many dead, injured, or without a home. The same applies for the Akaten, but more of them were wiped out due to the events. Many residents of Valeaf rebuilt their homes on what land they could. Other made residents in the welcoming neighboring villages. Some villages weren’t so open to Akaten inhabitants while others, mostly those along the western coast of Valdalstine which is opposite to Valeaf, were very welcoming of the Akaten.

                Since the disaster the Akaten do what they can to be helpful to Valdalstine. Those who can heal become nomadic healers tending to the injured. Some have teamed up with mainlanders who hold a mission to rebuild as many homes around Valdalstine as needed until everyone is housed. Others just stay in villages using their powers anyway that could be of service.

                The Akaten have come a long way, but their morale as a clan has since decreased. The Akaten as a clan have lost their will to move forward seeing as many of those that lead them, elders and masters, have died. This truth has become particular hard to bear for Roku Hozama, the only known survivor of any masters or elders from Akaten. In fact the Hozama family has been known to be the pride of Akaten with their family line achieving many impossible and amazing feats within the clan. Roku has always held great joy of not only being a part of the Hozama family, but just for being an Akaten, but no longer is this joy shared with other Akatens. Roku bares this burden day in and day out and he has the unshaking suspicion that the incidents of Heaven’s Descent was for something much bigger than anyone, but no one will listen to his words…not even his caretaker, Hex. Roku has learned to live with this horrid truth and tries to forget it all and live somewhat of a normal life. He lives with Hex at Honoko village which is right on the west coast of Valdalstine. There Roku helps Hex with his noodles food booth. Hex’s noodles has instantly became a hit to those of western Valdalstine and it brings in many travelers to the village.

                “….Seven years huh,” Roku thought to himself as he cast rocks into the ocean, “Why can’t I shake this feeling that….I don’t know….Something much bigger is to come?”

                “Hey Roku! You out here? We need to talk,” Hex said as he walked up on Roku, “That was really rude how you handle that back there…”

                “I honestly don’t care…I’m tired of hearing about that incident. You should be too. Somehow something infiltrates our home and destroy so much in so little of time and we know nothing. Then we have the nerve to act like nothing even happen because we are too afraid to admit we know nothing. I mean do you really believe it’s over Hex?”

                “It is over Roku. Why can’t you just be satisfied and live life? We, as Akaten, should always stand tall and be proud…You of all people should know that.”

                “I appreciate all you have done for me Hex, but please don’t tell me what we as Akaten should do. I am the pride of Akaten and as such I believe we shouldn’t just leave this matter be. The sole reason I stand as the pride of Akaten is because you all have lost your sense of it,” Roku proclaimed with a grimace, “I know something is up and I will find out what It is…”

                Roku got up from where he was standing and walked passed Hex, bumping into his shoulders. Hex tried to grab Roku, but Roku snatch his arm from Hex’s grasp.

                “Roku…It was nothing to Heaven’s Descent then what it was,” Hex said as calmly as possible, “I mean if someone was really after the Dragon Uni Law then they would have gotten it…I mean it has to be around somewhere because we can still use our powers right?”

                “You of all people Hex...You are so naïve to believe that just because our powers are still active the Dragon Uni Law is actually safe…Did you ever come to realize that Heaven’s Descent may have been a decoy for us to lose sight of it and forget about it,” Roku said with a disgusted stare, “I see I am the only one that is gonna take this seriously…unfortunately this is a matter I couldn’t even begin to handle alone.”

                Roku walked off as Hex looked off at the sunset. Hex would have normally been anger at an outburst from Roku, but he couldn’t help but believe there was some truth to his words. Hex, like most Akaten, were so damaged by Heaven’s Descent that all they wanted to do was but it behind them.

                After Roku’s words bounced around in Hex’s head, he couldn’t shake the feeling that there may be something going on in the dark. The Akaten still had access to their powers so the Dragon Uni Law had to still be intact…but if that was the case…what happened to it.

                Hex decided to dismiss his thoughts and after watching the sunset he decided to go back and close his noodle shop, believing that Roku hadn’t done so already. Almost as if it were instinct, Hex walked into the booth, packaged the remaining cooked noodles, closed the shutters, and then went outside and put up the closed sign. He then began to walk home, which was a mere five minute walk from his booth, as he thought about Roku. Hex began to think if he should go looking for him, but decided against it as he suspected that might push Roku further away. Hex was entrusted with protecting the pride of Akaten at all cost. Hex knew nothing about Roku and their relationship wasn’t the best at first. Roku had a hard time dealing with the loss of everything and Hex was very insensitive, to say the least. Hex use to live a solidary life on his own. His family were known across Akaten to be the Ninja Dragon of the Gales. Hex is the only remaining Ninja Dragon as his family were hired to partake in a war that took place on the mainland when Hex was only twelve. Hex was taken in by Roku’s father, Rozama, who was his father’s best friend. When Hex became of age, he began to live in the “shadows” even though he always had a way to “always be around”.

                Hex eventually made it to his home, but as he began to open the door he heard a slight rustle in the bushes by his home, “Roku?.......Who’s there?”

                Hex’s hands became encircled with a green aura as he slowly approached the bushes. As he got up close to the bushes he could hear a slight coughing from what sounded like a man. Hex pushed back the bushes to reveal a batter man lying on the ground, “Please…Help…….”

 

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After departing with Hex, Roku decided a nice stroll in the woods would clear his mind. Roku actually didn’t care much for the woods, but he did like open space to wander in. When Roku and Hex first moved to Honoko the two had gotten into a big argument. Roku had ran off into the woods behind their new home. Eventually Roku got lost and could not find his way back. Roku was unable to find his way through the woods, but right before giving up Roku came across this big open field with a pond in the middle. Roku found the place so calming and after a while it was like he was in his own world. After that Roku decided that this open field was from then on…His world.

                This new world that Roku had opened up was a great place for him to practice his powers. The pond was great as he was aligned with the blue dragon which granted him the power over ice. He would spend countless hours freezing as much water as he could or even shaping the water into ice sculptures. When he was smaller there wasn’t much he could do as his powers were limited, but after some training with Hex he could do almost whatever with his powers….but he never thought he have to use them for defending himself.

                “Hey you there,” echoed a somewhat creepy voice in the distance.

                “…Who’s there,” Roku asked, “I don’t really feel like being bothered at the moment. Please just leave me alone.”

                “But I came to find you hehehe.”

                “To find me huh? Did Hex send you? Too busy dealing with the booth? Look if he wants me he can come get me…Sorry if I wasted your time creepy dude.”

                As Roku continued walking he heard a whirling sound coming from behind him, “The hell is that.”

                Before Roku could even process what was happening he was hit by what appeared to be a giant spinning drill. Roku flew into a nearby tree which broke his impact. The drill like object stopped spinning to reveal itself to be a short, slouching man which unusually large arms, “We finally found you. Master will be so happy. Hehehehe...Now be good and come along with me.”

                “Look I don’t know who the hell you are, but you’re making a mistake in messing with me on this day…Of all days,” Roku said as he picked himself off the ground, “I’m not going anywhere with anybody.”

                “You please me young child…My orders were to bring you back alive. I assume Master wouldn’t be too upset if you were mangled. Hehe,” The short man then jumped towards Roku transforming into a large drill again.

                Roku was barely able to dodge the drill man at his incredible speeds. The drill man made impact with the tree Roku had previously crashed landed into. The tree instantly became nothing more than wood chips. The drill man landed on the pile of chips as if he were a cat and gave off a creepy glare.

                “Seriously…What the hell are you?”

                “That is of no important…plus Master might get mad if I say too much,” proclaimed the drill man, “but as for my name…I guess for your time as a being in one piece…you can call me Medos.”

                “Medos huh? Strange sounding name for a strange sounding dude such as yourself. Well allow me to introduce myself in case you didn’t know…I am Roku Hozama and unfortunately for you I can’t let you go home tonight.

 

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“So someone attacked you while you were walking through the forest? Do you get a good look at your assailant,” Hex asked the man he found outside his house as he handed him a cup of green tea.

                “It was so quick…Before I knew it…I was crawling for my life. Thank the heavens I was close by your home or else I might not have made it. By the way my name is Felix. I am a Green Dragon Akaten…I see you are of the same alignment…After all you did almost attack me.”

                “I apologize for that…I’m just the kind of person that likes to stay on the defense.”

                “That’s unfortunately a good mentality to have. Not many people where I’ve come from care for Akaten all too much, but then again I don’t have to tell you that now do I.”

                “…Not at all,” Hex said as he held his eyes close taking a sip of his own green tea, “So what brings you here exactly.”

                “Honestly…I came here to get some of your world renowned noodles since I was on my way towards the mountains,” Felix answered as he had a somewhat concerned look on his face, “but I believe the heavens had a different purpose for me today.”

                “What do you mean Felix,” Hex responded as he placed his cup down looking at Felix intently.

                “Before I was attacked my assailant asked whether or not I was the pride of Akaten. I know that term is reserved for the Hozama family and the only known Hozama still alive is young Roku. Doesn’t he resided with you…?”

                “So someone is looking for Roku…Was it an Akaten?”

                “I couldn’t even see his attacks, but when I was hit by his attacks it didn’t feel like something of this world….I don’t know…That was the vibe I got….Where is young Roku?....He does stay with you right?”

                “…Felix you are free to stay here if you’d like,” Hex said as he got up from his chair and walked toward the door while putting on a brown and tattered robe, “I have something to attain to.”

                “Hex…Whomever this guy is…he is fast…I see you wear the mark of the Ninja Dragon, but please be careful.”

                “Duly noted….,” Hex said as he closed the door behind him, “Who would want to look for the pride of Akaten. Roku…I’m on my way.”

                Hex hastily ran into the forest behind his home hoping Roku was not in any grave danger. Hex knew something was wrong with this situation and he had to get to the bottom of it. He had a promise to keep and at any cost he would protect the only pride the Akaten had.

 

Reviews

[Ashleigh Nicole Evans]

I admire your efforts at world-building. You seem to have a deep understanding of the political and cultural nuances of the world you have created and I really enjoyed the scenes containing dialogue, as most of the dialogue flows smoothly and does not feel rushed.

However, might I suggest that you reign back a little on the recitation of the history? I felt my attention wandering because most of your character's reflections felt a lot like lectures, almost as if you were merely telling the reader instead of showing them. Perhaps, you could include the history of your world in a more direct manner, as part of an active scene where the repercussions of past decisions and current circumstances are having a direct impact on your characters? Just a thought, though.

Also, you seem to not like using comma's during sentence construction. However, I have found that a well-placed comma can make for easier reading as it tends to clarify exactly what the writer wants the reader to picture. For example, "Hex decided to dismiss his thoughts and, after watching the sunset, he decided to go back and close his noodle shop, believing that Roku hadn’t done so already."

Also, be careful with spelling (I am not sure in which sentence) but the word should have been "particularly" and not "particular". Also, try to not use the same adjective in follow-on sentences - I took note that you like the word "great", which you used twice in two sentences in one of your later paragraphs. Also, correctly following with the same tense throughout a sentence is important especially because being careless with tenses distracts readers from the story because they often-times would have to re-read those sentences to make sense of them.

All in all, though, I think you have a wonderful concept here and I hope to see more of how this story unfolds.