She Seeks the Woman

This was written exclusively for my daughter, which would be why some of the lines mean nothing except to her and me.

There once was a day

When she worshiped his laugh

She longed to be with him

Held tight in his grasp

 

He closes his eyes

And can see her before him

That four year old girl

That used to adore him

 

They played in her room

They walked hand in hand

They went to the zoo

They dug in the sand

 

Wall to wall Barbies

Room filled with balloons

Down the stairs on a blanket

Rugrats cartoons

 

He didn’t notice it happen

He doesn’t know when

That four year old girl

Became suddenly ten

 

They went on adventures

She learned to ride bikes

Rollerskates, Pokemon

Cat in the Hat hikes

 

He closes his eyes

And can see her before him

That ten year old girl

That used to live for him

 

They search for the weasel

They build Barbie’s home

Britney, the Spice Girls

A cruise ship to roam

 

What happened to all

Those years in between?

That ten year old girl

Is turning thirteen

 

She’s too old for Barbie

Her world’s now PG-13

And he misses the girl

He bounced on his knee

 

He closes his eyes

And can see her before him

The thirteen year old girl

Starting to ignore him

 

She’s seeking the woman

She’ll one day become

Why must it be now?

So soon and so young

 

He didn’t see it coming

It was never foreseen

That thirteen year old girl

Has just turned sixteen

 

He longs to be with her

But she’s left him alone

Her friends more important

Her ipod, her cell phone

 

He wishes they could talk

But he doesn’t know how

Each time that he tries

It turns ugly somehow

 

Why does he holler?

Why does he yell?

He just wants to love her

Instead he puts her though hell

 

He never means to

It’s not his intention

He’s afraid it’s too late

To give her redemption

 

The hurt that she feels

He can’t kiss and make better

Each time that he tries

Her pillow gets wetter

 

Where once was such closeness

Is now hurt and pain

If he could just take it back

And start over again.

 

He closes his eyes

And can see her before him

The sixteen year old girl

That he’s made to abhor him

 

She cries in ways

He can’t understand

He can’t know her pain

She won’t take his hand

 

He cries in ways

She’ll one day understand

She wants to grow up

But he still wants to be Dad

 

He finds himself sitting

Alone in her room

Remembering the days

That left him too soon

 

Forever and always

She was right by his side

The seat is now empty

Too often he’s cried

 

He still has his memories

Tucked away in a box

Her first fallen tooth

Her first pair of socks

 

Artwork that used to

Hang on his walls

A stitch from her chin

Her favorite dolls

 

He gently touches each one

And his heart starts to burn

Because he finally knows

His baby can never return

 

She seeks the woman

That she’ll one day become

He just wants to be Daddy

And have her stay young

 

He loves her so much

She’s his precious pearl

But she seeks the woman

And he misses the girl

 

 

 

 

I’m so sorry that I didn’t end up

being the Daddy that you always hoped for.

But you are the daughter I always hoped for.

Reviews

[lovejulez03]

Wow, this is beautifully written and so easy to relate to! You can never truly understand what it's like to be a parent until you're grown and/or a parent of your own. It made me sad to read this, but at the same time it was inspiring me and reminded me of how hard it is to grow up and what a mixture of emotions comes with having a child. I loved it!

[Heather D]

Ok this made me cry. I'm not a parent but right now I feel like I know what it's like to be in a fathers shoes. Everything was beautifully written and I could feel the emotion as if seeing the little girl through a fathers eyes. Wonderful poem. I love it.

[J.Black]

Ok. This I loved. It let me cry. Why? Because I realize what it's like for a father to care, being a daughter to one.

Well, if my dad would write like the way you do- express your inner most deepest secrets/ feelings and have it sprawled across a screen so beautifully- this is what he would have said to me too. I'm not sixteen anymore- but I was once 4 years ago. The scariest part of all is when she's 18 she'll be wishing she was out of the house. At 25, she'll be thanking you for all the wonderful things you have shared together. At 30-40, she'll realize everything you once had, has shaped her into the young women she is today.

It's sad to see your little child grow up- but think of her as a beautiful blossoming flower. It needs its space, soil, it's sunlight to grow- but at the end of the day it does still needs its water (you) ... because without it, she would surely die. You may have shared watching Rugrats together, bouncing her on your knee like she was riding an imaginary pony, or holding your hand... but there will be new things for you to share.. like her first boyfriend (although you'll probably hate him!), her first car/ license, her first house, her wedding.

"Why does he holler?
Why does he yell?
He just wants to love her
Instead he puts her though hell" .... that scene of growing apart. I can relate because I have been through the same bitter experience. she'll forgive you at one point in her life. I know I have. You can't stay mad at something forever; especially when you need it to be apart of you. Well done.

[WonderWhy]

I feel you for this one. I'm actually having trouble with my teen and it just makes me wonder how sometimes you can feel so close to them, then others you feel like there's miles between you. It's both heartbreaking & exhilarating watching them grow away from us. I keep telling myself that it's only temporary because once I had children, I had an even better relationship with my parents. I don't want to rush that, but I hate the rift between us sometimes. I also see my son changing (he's a pre-teen), and I find myself wondering what happened to that sweet little boy. I miss him, but thankfully that little sweetheart still shows up pretty often. This too shall pass, my friend. This too...shall pass. :)

[tammy]

OH MY GOODNESS YOU MADE ME CRY. THIS TOUCHED ME SO MUCH. I AM HAVING THAT DISCONNECTION FROM MY CURRENTLY 16 YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER. THIS POEM BOUGHT SO MUCH CLARITY TO MY SITUATION WITH MY DAUGHTER. I FOLLOWED YOUR EMOTION AND TEARS FORMED IN MY EYES. YOU MAY HAVE THOUGHT YOUR ISSUES WITH YOUR CHILD WERE SPECIFIC TO YOU BUT, I FEEL LIKE YOU WERE PEEKING THROUGH MY WINDOW. I KNOW YOU CRIED WRITING THIS BECAUSE THERE IS JUST SO MUCH EMOTION THERE. THANK YOU.

[Goodbye]

This is so sweet! Brought tears to my eyes and left me going awwwww :)

[Angel's Lady]

I cried almost from the beginning, because I have lived this...Great write! And oh so true....

[Kathryn Saunders]

amazingly wriyten, so true and so sad at the same time. simply breathtaking. 10/10

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

This was so beautifully written! The imagery was outstanding!

[Marie Harrison]

Damn, you made me cry! Beautiful write.

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

This is so endearing. As the mother of a 12 year old son I can still relate to every word from beginning to end...thank you!
Light,
Siddartha