Absence

Just a bit of brotherly fluff. Who doesn't love brotherly fluff?

Leyton peered around the curtains nervously, apprehensive as to what he would see, and a discontent sigh escaped his lips when his suspicions were confirmed. His father was not sitting in the crowd. His answer had been suspiciously noncommittal when Leyton had asked him to come to the school play but the 11 year old boy couldn't help but hope his Dad would come through for once.

 

A teacher grabbed him by the bicep, dragging him away from the curtains, and he tried to forget his father's absence. It wasn't easy for Leyton to dismiss the fact that his father had once again put his work ahead of him though.

 

After the final touches of pampering that never failed to make him feel like a girl, Leyton was making his way on stage to initiate the first scene. Speaking loudly, unlike his usual shy mumble, and gesturing like he'd been taught, he recited the first lines. The acting took over as usual, filling his chest with a helium like feeling that made him feel like he could float away at any moment, confidence he assumed.

 

The bright lights were no longer blinding, the other kids were no longer predators in the jungle, his teachers were no longer scary vultures, because he wasn't himself anymore. He was someone better, more confident, funnier, smarter, better looking, he was anything he wanted to be and he was in control. He determined what happened, what the audience saw. He was behind the control panel for once in his life.

 

However, as he gazed out into the audience, the lack of his father's messy, dark hair and chocolate eyes caused him to stutter, a first in his acting career. He paused for a second that felt like hours as his heart squeezed painfully in his chest. His knees started to shake and his palms sweated, another first for him. He'd never had pre-show nerves before, only excited energy. His throat dried up and he nearly went into flee mode. But then the back door of the hall opened and a shock of fair hair tripped over the doorway.

 

Caleb apologised to the teacher glaring at him, fixing his jacket and  stretching his lanky eighteen year old figure before looking eagerly up to the stage. Upon seeing his younger brother already up there, he flashed him a cheeky grin and a thumbs up.

 

Leyton's chest suddenly swelled again, momentarily forgetting his father. He should have known Caleb would show up. Caleb was always there whenever Leyton needed him.

 

Taking a deep breath, Leyton continued his lines, the helium filling his chest, and he was away; caught in the simplistic beauty of being able to forget himself, even if only for a short couple of hours.

 

Through those two hours, he spoke with confidence, gestured with flourish, commanded attention, even sang a song or two. These were all contrasts to his reserved nature and he knew that once the curtains closed he'd be back to his stuttering, stumbling self. He forgot that for the time being though, content to live in the moment and enjoy the attention focused solely on him.

 

And Caleb's eyes never strayed from his younger brother; the same younger brother that blushes when talking to girls and gets his cheeks pinched by old ladies at the store. Caleb watched as he strode around the stage, absolutely owning the show. He was a very talented actor, slipping into roles almost seamlessly. Caleb supposed that this could be concerning, how easily Leyton was willing to step out of his own life and into someone else's. He didn't care though. He'd be damned if he spent the whole play analysing rather than enjoying the rare confidence his younger brother was exuding.

 

After the show, Leyton accepted his teacher's earnest compliments with his hair in his eyes and flushed cheeks, eager to get out to his older brother. As soon as he could be, he was bounding through the auditorium and Caleb was hit with an armful of younger brother.

 

Caleb ruffled Leyton's dark hair affectionately and squeezed him.

 

"You came!" Leyton exclaimed happily.

 

Caleb's heart tightened at the notion that he wouldn't and he released his little brother, holding him by the shoulders at arm's length and grinning at him.

 

"Course I came! Sorry I was late. You kicked a*s up there though, little bro! Where'd you learn to act that good?"

 

Leyton practically glowed under his brother's praise as he beamed up at him.

 

"Not that hard," he replied modestly.

 

Caleb resented the self-deprecating tone of the comment and sought to get rid of it.

 

"No way, I did drama in school and it was not that easy. You...you're special, Ley. And you're gonna go on to get rich and famous - I'd put money on it."

 

Leyton's face stretched into a large smile and Caleb gave him a boyishly affectionate punch to the shoulder. The light-heartedness of the moment passed though when Leyton remembered his father.

 

His smile faltered just slightly, feeling forced where a moment ago it had felt completely natural. He glanced down and his hair covered his eyes.

 

"So...is Dad at work or somethin'?" He asked Caleb softly.

 

Caleb's bright eyes hardened and he reached up to pat Leyton's shoulder, but thought better of it, dropping it with a sigh.

 

"Yeah kiddo. He's, uhh, he's a bit tied up. But you know he wanted to be here to watch ya'."

 

Caleb knew it was a lie. Their father's exact words when he had tried to convince him to come were, 'a waste of time. Besides, it's a girly hobby. With any luck he'll grow out of it.'

 

At that point Caleb had stormed out of the house, not wanting to be late, but inevitably arriving after the show had started anyway. He decided that a little extra confidence wouldn't hurt his introverted younger brother though.

 

Their father wasn't a bad person, Caleb knew that. He was just unsure of how to handle two boys on his own and struggling to make ends meet after their mother's death. He was always working so much extra time at the office to pay for Leyton's drama classes and Caleb's football fees that he was too busy to actually support the boys in these activities.

 

Not to mention that he wasn't exactly in a good place after their mother died. He barely knew how to manage his own raging emotions, let alone support two boys through the grieving process. It was wrong of him but he was ill-equipped.

 

"Yeah, I know," Leyton looked up at his older brother and best friend with his big blue eyes, so much like their mother's that Caleb almost choked.

 

"It's just…" Leyton paused, pursing his lips in thought for a moment. "My...my teacher said to us today that actions speak louder than words and, well, I think I agree with her. I mean, you keep sayin' that he wants to watch, and he wants to come and stuff but he never actually does. And all the other kids in the show tonight, their parents were all in the seats with cameras and big smiles and stuff and I'm the only one without an adult that sticks by 'em."

 

Caleb breathed out and slowly squatted down so his tall, lanky figure was at the same eye level as Leyton's. He was prepared to comfort him but Leyton decided he wasn't done.

 

"But I got you," he continued, perking up. "I always tell the other kids that when they ask why I got no parents around. I tell 'em they don't need to come 'cause I got the best big brother in the world."

 

Caleb grinned and squeezed Leyton's shoulder affectionately.

"And don't you forget it. I'm gonna see every one of your shows and if you want, I'll even put your face on a t-shirt and film ya."

 

Leyton laughed, a beautifully, naively hopeful laugh, and hit Caleb's shoulder playfully. Caleb winked at him mischievously before standing up again, stretching his long legs out.

 

"Now, how does celebration ice-cream sound?" Caleb asked and Leyton gave a happy whoop and fist pump, leading the way outside.

 

Leyton himself was on cloud nine. He was so happy and content with his brother that nothing could touch him; not his father's emotional negligence, not the kids at school that scared him, nothing. He was incredibly and blissfully happy. And as Caleb gave him his leather jacket to fend off the cold night air, the jacket reaching mid-thigh, he decided that he'd rather have Caleb cheering him on than anyone else anyway. He decided that he didn't need anyone else. As long as he had his older brother by his side, he'd be perfectly okay.