Hurry!

There are only two people in the entire world who are not in a hurry!

          INT. BEDROOM OF HOWARD AND SUSAN LONG - DAY

          HOWARD is sprawled out on the bed, sleeping peacefully.  
          A slight BREEZE gently shuffles the lace curtains back
          and forth, as BIRDS chirp outside and the SUN is just
          beginning to shine.

          Suddenly, an ALARM CLOCK blasts, interrupting Howard's
          peaceful slumber.

     HOWARD
                              (slapping the alarm clock)
                         S**t.

          His wife, SUSAN comes bouncing into the room, full of
          energy and fully dressed. She is munching on a piece of
          toast, as she grabs a handful of the comforter and YANKS
          it from the bed, exposing Howard and his pajamas to the
          world.

     SUSAN
                         Come on sleepyhead! Get up. You're
                         burning daylight!

     HOWARD
                              (mumbling, but audible)
                         Good.  Come back after it's all burned
                         up!

          Susan, all bubbly and full of pep, bounces into the
          bathroom, checks her face and hair in the mirror,
          checking her wristwatch again and again.

     SUSAN
                         Let's go, big daddy! MARY KATHRYN has
                         soccer practice today, so I need you to
                         pick her up from the field at six
                         thirty this evening.

     HOWARD
                              (sitting up on the edge of
                              the bed)
                         Is that today? I thought it was
                         tomorrow.

     SUSAN
                              (with emphasis)
                         Today is tomorrow, honey! Let's go . .
                         . get cracking!

     HOWARD
                         Yeah, yeah, yeah.

          Susan is hurrying about the room, straightening stuff up
          and constantly checking her wristwatch.

     SUSAN
                              (as she exits the bedroom)
                         See you downstairs, honey!

          Howard, hair sticking up everywhere, takes a deep breath,
          sighs a long sigh, stands, stretches, and yawns. Then he
          goes into the bathroom, scratching his butt as he enters
          and pulls the door closed behind him.


          INT. HOWARD AND SUSAN LONG'S KITCHEN - DAY

          Mary Kathryn, about ten years old, is sitting at the
          kitchen table, eating cereal from a bowl, swinging her
          legs back and forth.  Between bites, she glances at the
          clock on the kitchen wall about the stove. The big hand
          is on the twelve, and the little hand is on the seven.

     MARY KATHRYN
                         Mom, did you wake him up?

     SUSAN
                         I tried honey. He should be down any
                         minute now.

          Susan is busy as a bee in the kitchen; rinsing dishes,
          placing them in the dishwasher, feeding the DOG, tossing
          stuff into the trash can, wiping off the kithen counter,
          etc.

          Howard, dress pants on, dress shoes on, t-shirt on, comes
          strolling into the kitchen, buttoning his dress shirt and
          putting on his tie.

     HOWARD
                              (no hurry to get the ball
                              rolling)
                         I'm here, I'm here. I hope I didn't
                         miss anything.

          Mary Kathryn looks at the clock again. Time is 7:15 am.

     MARY KATHRYN
                         Dad, I have to be at school early
                         today. We have a test in English this
                         morning.

          Howard gives Mary Kathryn 'the look'.

     SUSAN
                              (zipping around the kitchen
                              in a big rush)
                         I'll take you this morning, sweetie. I
                         have to be at the garden center by
                         eight thirty.

          Susan checks her watch again, then glances at the clock
          on the wall above the stove.

          Howard glances at the dog, who is lying close to his
          feeding dish, napping.

          Susan rushes to Howard's side, leans over and gives him a
          peck on the cheek.

     SUSAN
                         Mary Kathryn, let's go! You don't
                         wanna be late, do you?

          Mary Kathryn slides out of the chair, rushes over to the
          kitchen sink with her bowl, and places it inside the
          sink. Then she rushes over to Howard, kisses him on the
          cheek.

     MARY KATHRYN
                         Bye, daddy!

     HOWARD
                              (forced grin)
                         See you tonight sweetie!

          Mary Kathryn rushes out of the room, only to rush back in
          and retrieve her backpack sitting on the floor beside her
          chair. Again, Howard gives her 'the look'.

     SUSAN (O.S.)
                         Come on, Mary Kathryn, we're gonna be
                         late!

     MARY KATHRYN
                         Bye again, dad!

          Howard throws up his hand and nods his head in reply.


          EXT. HOWARD AND SUSAN LONG'S HOUSE - DAY

          The front door opens and out walks Howard.  Howard is
          dressed in a business suit, carrying a briefcase. The
          dog is laying on the front porch, head on his paws.

          Howard sits down on the front steps, places his briefcase
          beside him. He crosses his arms and rests them on his
          knees as he glances over at the dog.

     HOWARD
                              (patting the dog's head)
                         Got it made don't ya, fella?

          The dog just soaks up the attention, hardly moving at
          all.

     HOWARD
                         Have a good day, now.

          Howard stands up, picks up his briefcase, then walks to
          his car.

          He gets in the car, starts it, puts it into reverse and
          starts backing out of the drive.  He hears the squeal of
          tires and has to jam on his brakes as A CAR comes
          speeding down his quiet street, swerving around him and
          just barely missing his rear bumper. We hear . . .

     DRIVER OF OTHER CAR
                              (yelling)
                         A*****e!

          Howard checks each way, then continues to back out of his
          driveway and begin his drive to work.

          When he gets to the end of the expressway ON RAMP, he has
          to stop and wait for a few cars that are SPEEDING by him
          at a really fast clip.  A few blow their horns at him and
          one throws his arm up in the air and flips Howard the
          middle finger.

          Howard makes it onto the expressway, and gets in the
          middle lane.  We see other cars passing Howard on the
          left and right.

          At one point, a car pulls up behind him.  Howard looks in
          the rearview mirror and sees a woman following in the car
          behind him.  She is talking on a cellphone, blowing her
          car horn, and yelling at Howard, all at the same time.  
          She finally passes him, and as she goes speeding by, we
          see her flip Howard the middle finger too.


          INT. HOWARD'S OFFICE AT WORK-DAY

          Howard is working at his desk in his office.

          Howard's SECRETARY rushes into his office, checking her
          watch as she enters.

     SECRETARY
                         Oh, Mister Long . . . you're goint to
                         be late for your dentist appointment if
                         you don't hurry!

     HOWARD
                              (in no rush)
                         Thanks, Helen . . . I'll be finished in
                         a few more minutes.

     HELEN
                         Well, it's two thirty, and your
                         appointment is at three and  . . .

     HOWARD
                              (stopping her by holding up
                              his hand)
                         I'm on my way, Helen.  Thanks.

          Helen, visibly flustered, turns and leaves Howard's
          office in a huff.

          Howard pushes himself back from his desk, stands up, and
          prepares to leave.  We see him walk through the door of
          his office and down the hall.


          EXT. PARKING LOT OUTSIDE HOWARD'S OFFICE BUILDING-DAY

          Howard tries three times to back out of his parking
          space, each time waiting for someone who is in more of a
          hurry than he is.  Finally, he backs out of the parking
          space and drives away.


          INT. UNDERGROUND PARKING GARAGE-DAY

          Howard sees a parking space that he wants.  He heads for
          it, but just as he begins to pull into it, some woman
          beats him to it.

          Howard has a despondent look on his face as he calmly
          backs up and drives to find another parking space.  He
          finds one and parks his car.  Then he gets out and begins
          walking to the elevators.


          EXT. ELEVATORS, WAITING FOR ONE TO ARRIVE-DAY

          Howard and five other people waiting for the elevator.  
          We see A MAN TALKING ON A CELL PHONE, a LADY PUTTING ON
          MAKEUP, A MAN IMPATIENTLY JIGGLING CHANGE IN HIS POCKET,
          and A MAN PACING BACK AND FORTH as they all wait.

          When the elevator arrives, the doors open and we see
          people rushing out; some of them on cell phones, some
          checking their watches, but all looking agitated and in a
          hurry.

          Once they are all out, the rush to get on begins.  Howard
          stands back out of the way as they all rush into the
          elevator.  Finally, Howard gets on.

          As the elevator stops at each floor, occupants rush to
          get off.

          Finally, the elevator stops, one person gets off, we see
          TWO INDEX FINGERS hit the same button . . . number six,
          for the sixth floor.

          When the elevator arrives at the sixth floor, the door
          opens.  We are looking inside the elevator.  Howard is
          standing in one corner, and the other person is in the
          opposite corner.

          They stand there, waiting for the other to make their
          exit.  Neither one moves a muscle.

          Howard gives a sideways glance at the other person.

          The other person gives a sideways glance back at Howard.

          Still, neither makes a move toward the door.

          From outside the elevator, we see them look at each other
          as . . .

          . . . the elevator doors close to darkness.

     THE END

          
Copyright 2012 Frightwriter! Publications. All rights reserved.

Reviews

[2uponatime]

Ah, how refreshing to find a writer who actually knows something about screenplay format! I like the contrast between Howard and everyone else. Susan wears me out! The ending was great, too.

Here are a few thoughts to make it better:

1. Give the actors some credit. Give them the feel of the character's personality and attitude, and they can figure out the exact mannerisms, gestures, tone in which they speak, etc.

2. Along the same lines, not everything has to be spelled out explicitly. For example, if a character walks to his car, it's implied that he's stood up. On the other hand, maybe that's what you're going for with Howard, to emphasize how not-in-a-hurry he is. It just adds up the word count when every single action is described. The screenplay doesn't (always) have to include the exact layout of a room or the location of every object in it--the set people will take care of that.

3. Maybe shorten the scene headers? If there's only one house, parking lot, etc., in the film, it's okay to just say "INT. HOUSE," "EXT. PARKING LOT" because you don't have to distinguish between two of the same kind of location.

4. Avoid saying "we see" or "we hear." Just say "People rush off the elevators" or "The other driver hollers as he whizzes by" or something like that. It sounds more professional and doesn't jerk the reader out of the flow of the story.

5. Why was Howard "despondent" about the woman taking his parking spot if he's not in a hurry? It doesn't seem consistent with his behavior in the rest of the screenplay.

6. I was a little thrown off by this description of the clock in the kitchen: "The big hand is on the twelve, and the little hand is on the seven." Maybe just say "The clock reads seven" or something like that?

7. Put Mary Kathryn's name in all caps the first time she actually appears. Unless Susan is shouting her name, it doesn't have to be all caps the first time Mary Kathryn is mentioned in dialogue.

8. Maybe write some dialogue for the people on their phones? I'd like to hear what they're saying. Especially the woman who's talking on her phone, honking her horn, and yelling at Howard all at once.

9. Try using new scene headers for when the view switches between the inside and the outside of the elevator. I think that'll make things clearer.

Overall, great work. I agree with Panda: the characters are really lifelike. Thumbs up.

[Panda]

I loved how you defined the characters from the moments we first met them. From Susan maintaining a consistent rush like feel to her all the way to Howard's laid back motive. My only questions would be to put the directions in italics so we don't get it mixed up with the characters speech :D But I really nice and defined piece.

[Jimmy Combs]

I will absolutely consider doing that! Thank you for the review!