Seasonal Memoirs

A young woman reminiscing the days of vivid past.

I feel the breeze touched my skin. It felt cold, like how it is. It was night time, I could see my breath in the air as I strolled along the park like I used to going back home.

Passing by lit up signs, the light posts, and the village homes. It was nostalgic passing by here everyday. Even if it changes as time passes by, I still remember the days when I was a little squirt. Running around the park, playing around the fields, exploring through places and what not. It was those days that I was lively, and never run out of energy as all kids are usually. 

I sat by the park bench, fixing up my coat and scarf and instead read a little pocketbook that I brought with me to keep myself distracted, and keep my mind off the world around me just for a little while. It was a peaceful night, with the sounds of crickets and the lights of the homes and the posts around the village gave a reminiscing view, like it was a different world. It was the moment that I wanted to go back, as I realize my youth started to fade slowly day by day. 

Continuing to plod along the concrete road where the white light shines, walking along the so-called memory road. Seeing visions of the days that I used to live in. Where I used to hear lots of laugher, the sight of smiles on every person's face, enjoying the day under the sun with the voices of children echoing the area. It was very lively back then, and a relieving sight to see. But as many people say in the world that I live in;

"Those were the days." I whispered to myself. Sighing heavily as I look up the night sky.

Walking along this path, with the sound of trees being kissed by the cold wind that passes by, as leaves starts to fall gracefully, something caught my eye that made me stop for a moment. It was a little girl, standing nearby the light post, perked up with a red simple dress and in black school shoes with a small backpack. She had long black hair and hazelnut eyes that shine as she looked at the lights above her. 

I continued walking towards her direction, supposedly just passing through. She seemed to be so focused on the light, like in a look of awe. I gone on ahead walking towards the path I always take as I go home, ignoring her presence and just move on. With the leaves dancing through the breeze of the chilly night, I heard footsteps from behind which made me halt at that point, and I turned and saw that it was the little girl having that same innocent look on her face looking up to me. I don't know if I was hallucinating or not but it's been a long day, lots of work done. It's like those scenarios I see in movies I've been watching lately in late night.

"I think I need some sleep." I whispered to myself. Maybe I am hallucinating, because there's no way I am seeing a little girl dwelling around this time of day. I mean who would let kids like her stay out this late right? 

"Are you alright lady? You seem a bit tired." Said the little girl in front of me. Looking up at me with those hazelnut eyes with a hint of innocence and curiosity.

"Y-Yes. Thanks for the concern." I smiled faintly. I kneeled in front of her and grasped on her right shoulder gently. "How about you little one? Why are you out here at night?" I asked with concern.

"I was waiting for you." Said the little girl.

"M-Me?" I replied. I looked at her once more, to once I recall, she's gives off a familar resemblence. "Who are you exactly?" I asked. The little girl offers her hand up for me to hold, as she flashes that cute smile on her facials. "Come with me. I want to show you something." 

With hesitation at first, I took her hand cautiously. She started to walk as I follow along from behind as she drags me into another direction of the park. I look at my surroundings, it was night time, how could I see something even with only a few light posts lit up.

With my thoughts in question, I turned back to the little girl. "What are you supposedly going to show me at this hour?" I asked in an unsure tone. "There's nothing to see within the darkness with only a few light posts up." I scratched my head as my thoughts start to juggle. The little girl dragged me continously as I saw along the path, a park bench under the light post, being lit up like it was some sort of a spotlight. 

"Over there! Let's go there!" Said the little girl as she pulls my hand and rushes a bit on her footsteps. I set aside my thoughts and decided to follow her towards the bench. She sat on it instantly following me along. The bench was cold, it was a bit rusty comparing to all the other benches I've seen in the park, fortunately it was sturdy considering on how many years this might have been. In fact, I've never been to this area before in a while. 

"Why drag me here of all places?" I asked, as I felt the little girl grasping on my right arm as my thoughts are still gathering. "It's because I want to show you something." The little girl replied in a subtle tone. It made me even more confused, and with the stress I have for today I consider that this is just a waste of my time. I turned to her, looking at her seriously. 

"It's only nothing but a rusty ol' bench in the middle of the park. What's so special about it?!" I exclaimed. She gone quiet, still grasping to my right arm tightly as she hids her head from my direction. "My apologies, I'm just tired to think straight." I said calmly as I patted her head gently. She looked up with hesitation, as I saw tears in her eyes, crookedly smiling at me as she wipes it off.

"I want you to look up, and tell me what you see." Said the little girl. For the sake of it I did what I was told, and looked up towards the night sky. It was a splendid view of the stars, all lit up and scattered here and there. "I see...lit up stars scattered." I said in awe. It's rare to get this kind of view at night, let alone I only get to see this when it's Christmas. It's still the month of September, few months before the occassion. Odd to see this wonderful sight as I only get to witness it every year.

Within those stars, I see one that sort of stands out among the rest. "Do you see a little light that shines brighter?" She asked. "Yes." I replied. "Try to reach out for it." She stated, as she moves my right arm to stretch it out. "Eh? What? Reach out?" I state with curiosity. "Just do it!" The little girl demands and pouted in front of me with those flushed cheeks. 

I did what I was told. In all honesty, it is kind of odd to be ordered around by a little girl. I stick my right hand out towards the night sky, to where the shining star is, and when I did, the light grew brighter until it shines like a certain spotlight. I instinctively close my eyes as I wait for the bright light to die down a bit. 

Eventually, I start to feel warmth. The daytime breeze that I used to be in everyday. It was nostalgic, like it was real to begin with. Till I hear the laughter of children from the distance, birds chirping along the way, the usual tune of the ice cream vendor that passes by. I opened my eyes slowly.

"W-What.." I said faintly. It was the sight of the usual days back then. Children playing and running around the park, the elderly strolling around the park, and residents walking their pets for their daily routine.

"Where am...I..." To that I noticed the little girl was gone. "Wait, where is she?!" I stood up from the bench and started to panic. I should've took the girl home when I had the chance. Did I slept suddenly last night from exhaustion? My thoughts start to clutter and question to where I'm in. I wonder if I pass out, or the possibility of time leap existing. This might be a dream otherwise. I pinched myself on the arm, well of course it will hurt. 

If this is not a dream, I rushed to the newspaper machines nearby. I went over to the head of the article and skim through to find the date. March 19, 2004, it was dated back when I was still around 6 years old. I did time leap all of the sudden. If so, then...

"She should be around here." I said to myself. I ran across the park, passing by people strolling around. "Excuse me, pardon, coming through!" Arriving at a nearby playground where I used to go to every time in the morning with our helper before. I look from left to right, finding my little self if I could get the chance. I went closer to the area, going nearby those benches for the parents and guardians to sit and keep an eye on their little ones playing. 

"Julia! Careful there!" I heard someone shouting my name, a familiar voice even. I looked to my right, it was indeed the helper that always accompanies me at times when I was still young. "I--!" I covered my mouth before I completed my statement. People nearby me looked at me with confusion. "Is something wrong dear?" An old lady asked just to my near right. "Y-Yes! Excuse me." I step back from the scene. I can feel my cheeks heating up because of that embarassing moment. It was an instinct to reply back to my helper before. That was close. 

"I will!" A girl shouted from the distance, I tilted my head to the direction on where the voice is. I see my little self clad in a blue dress, tied with a braided ponytail, being so confident standing by the playground tower with a slide attached to it. It was my crowning glory, the feeling of conquering the playground, like I was the princess, or the queen. Visualizing it as a castle. Seeing my young self, it was a warm touch to my soul. Wishing that I could go back and relive the experience again. 

I watched the whole day, seeing how silly I was during the moment. Following myself from behind. It makes me smile each time. To the times I have been facing right now in my life, it was tiring, there was a time I gain something, and lose some as well. Betrayal even with the people whom I thought I could trust, people that I care about the most in their concerns, situations that only gave me the dead weight. It was the hard parts of my life, as I try to put myself back together before another impact comes to break me.

I miss the highlights of my life back then, and this day made me reminisce it once more. I get to witness it again. To even see myself full of smiles, even if I was a bit silly and foolish in all honesty.

The day passes through, with the colors of sunset, about to transition into the night. I kept following my little self, till the helper asked her to wait there as she goes to the comfort room. She sat by the bench to wait. I halted there and just continue to observe her. In a few moments she looked over to my direction. She stood up from the bench, and starts to walk towards me.

I have the instinct to run, that I might ruin the timeline, as what theories say in time leaping. But I can't with the sight I am seeing. The dress that I was wearing, from the color of blue, it transitioned to red, as she took her hair band off which the braid lose form, as it flows back to the long black hair. It was the same girl that night. 

"I guess you know who I am?" Said the little girl in front of me, she gave off a smile that relieves me. "You're...me?" I asked with my voice stuttering. The little girl nodded. "From the past that is." She replied, and chuckled a bit. All this time, with all the confusing thoughts that build up. I got frustrated even further.

"Why did you drag me here?" I asked her, with a straight off tone. The little girl got a bit jumpy from my tone, and proceeded to calm me down as she clutched onto my right arm. "Let me explain, okay?" She replied in question. As much as this is getting me nowhere, I had no choice. I agreed with a nod, then she begin to proceed. "You've been reminiscing this part of your life all the time, let alone pass by the park as you go home." The little girl stated. "Which made me go to your time to pay a little visit."

"Visiting me?" I questioned, scratching my head as I look at her. "Yes, to set aside your worries and problems, and go back to at least see the days you used to be in." The little girl answered. 

"In other words," I stated. "You did this...to at least make me relieved." I let out a big sigh, eventually, I form a smile across my facials. "Well," said the little girl. "You did enjoy today at least, right?" Looking back from today. It's always the usual stress that I tackle in my field. Handling paperworks, doing some briefing, and maybe pulled an all-nighter just for the sake of finishing the remaining files to arrange. Going home along the way, passing by the village park, and seeing the little girl, who happens to what I call, my past self. Going through the day in another timeline, just to re-witness my days where I was so lively at the time. Just seeing my young self standing up in front of me, talking to me up straight, made me miss my days being a little squirt. I approached and knelt in front of her, as I gave her a big warm hug. 

"Thank you." I spoke as I felt tears forming around my eyes. She hugged back with those small pair of arms. "I guess it is time for you to go back, Julia." I told her as I pat her head. "But before that.." She eventually covered my eyes gently. "Take care on your way back, see you soon." 

Soon as she ends her sentence, the same bright white light again flashing once more, as it faded, slowly opening back my eyes, I'm back here again to where it all began. The same night sky filled with stars, the sounds of crickets everywhere, and the trees dancing with the breeze along with the cold air. I stood up from the bench, fixing my things and adjusting the scarf for warmth. As I go towards the arc, the park entrance, before I leave, I look at the night sky once more, and took a good look, to see, the star that shines the brightest. 

"See you again soon." as I start to walk out of the park, and into the gloomy darkness of the night.

Reviews

[Al Javier]

That was sweet and honestly kind of charming. I like this "meeting one's self" scenario.

Although I did see more than a couple of grammatical mistakes as I read, which soured the experience a little bit. Apart from that, it's all good.

One of your better works from my perspective. To reunite with the past is to move on with the struggles in the present.

[Lyra Caius]

Thank you for that, Al :)

Same goes to your works, looking forward to them. ;)