Joys Erased

Where the water slips on stones/
Where sound of waves touch the soul/
Where gardens of endless beauty bloom in sun/
Where thoughts of sorrow seem to run/
Where the cool breeze whistles in joy/
Where the colour of flowers my sight enjoys/
Where the moist grass gives me pleasure/
Where glowing flowers unleash their scent treasure/
I lie under a tree/
Where leaves sing me lullaby/
And when my eyes close there/
I fall deep into the layers/
And reach to a place/
Where sunrays hit my face/
On the bed of disgrace/
And suddenly all my joys erase/

Reviews

[Flower]

The beginning bit is quite nice; chock full of descriptive words and gives the reader a wonderful image of serenity but the lines ending in "tree", "lullaby", "there", and "layers" don't exactly have the same poetic prose and flow. The ending is also quite sudden and unexplained; why a bed of disgrace? Everything seemed so peaceful and calm lol.

Overall quite good for a first, but keep going! :)

[Khalil Jibran]

because it is just a dream and the reality is horrible..... my desires have turned into nightmares... and on that bed i see all those nightmares...thats why..... anyways thank you for the review .... i appretiate that....i just started poetry recently.. so don't have enough knowledge....:-)

[smartzq]

what is lullaby meaning in the dream

[Khalil Jibran]

whistling sound of leaves caused by wind... which touches the soul.

[Anindita Janhabee]

All the times, imaginations are much more better than reality. So if a person, starts sucking happiness from imaginations, he gradually enjoys it and thus, does not face boredom or troubled life in reality...
Me too all the time write imaginative ones, very less about reality, which comes out from heart during memorable times...
Imaginations can flow all the times, its the benefit, advantage. Writing for reality needs a particular time and situation....
Good poem, liked it, specially the places used in imaginations are superb!!!
keep it up, hope you'll check out mine too...
Anindita

[A.W. Carl]

I really enjoyed this poem Khalil. The sensory images are solid, the tone and rhyming is spot on. It's amazing how we can be in an awesome place physically, but in a totally different place mentally, and vice versa.

Enjoyed this!

[Davidgeo]

Really dude? I don't know, I think I really might hate this place after all.

[Khalil Jibran]

did you like my writing??

[Davidgeo]

Eh... it's not horrible.

Who cares what I think though... keep writing....
read moreEh... it's not horrible.

Who cares what I think though... keep writing....

Someone gave you a s****y review rating though.