My life decisions are hurting me

Im 20 years old turning 21 on March 11. For the last month I have been going out weekly and getting drunk to the point where I have hangovers the next day. Im ruining my life. My life is starting to become a blur and Im not sure how to change that. A friend of mine tells me to get new friends but the people I drink with are mostly my sister and her coworkers. I'm ruining my life as much as I am drinking my life away. I drink because its a closure to my past and it makes me not think about my past anymore. It also makes me not think about everything that has hurt me. I do it because its my escape from things. I know I shouldnt do it but its become part of me. The worst thing is thats all I think about doing is drinking everyday or going out and having a shot of alcohol. I dont wanna be a alcoholic and I know if I keep doing this then Im going to. My dad never gave me a talk on alcohol and he never gave me a talk on sex either. Instead a friend of mine who is a cop had to tell me to quite drinking back in high school because he didnt wanna see me end up in the ditch dead or didnt wanna be the one to pull me over and arrest me. Today has been a hard day and makes me wanna go out and have a drink only because I talked to my ex boyfriend or boyfriend idk what we were his "girlfriend" the one who cheated on him and I started crying because he never told me that they were going out adn its hasnt been more than 2 months since he moved away and said "maybe we should be on a break" but then tell me later on that we officially didnt break up with one another. I want to go out and have a damn beer or shot or something just to kill my damn pain because I dont wanna deal with it. I still love him and he was the telling me that he was wanting this to work between him and I and instead he goes out and decides to hook up with his ex girlfriend who cheated on his a*s. I want to just get the hell away from here and just go hide somewhere and drink until I dont care about anything.

Reviews

[Wolfwind Words]

I have to agree with Sam. A change of who you hang out with on a regular basis could do alot of good. I grew up in Washington and I'm familiar with the social pressures that one can feel, especially during the college years. I know it's hard to get away from the people that seem to drain you. I had a friend who went to Western a few years ago and she went through the same type of ordeal. The best thing I can say, is to focus on your goals, dreams and ambitions and walk away from the social scene for as long as it takes to get grounded and stable.
I wish you the best of luck!

Hugs!
Aaron Wolfie Maycroft

[Samuel Dickens]

I've been where you're at and know how hard it is to pull yourself out of that destructive rut. In fact, when I look back on my life, I regret the drinking more than anything else, because every stupid, bad decision I ever made was when I was drinking. I could have done so much better without the alcohol. Here's what you must do---break the routine. Make yourself seek out a better group of friends. It won't be easy, but you can do it! Do you remember some good old friends from high school? How about attending an art, pottery or music class? Anything that will cause you to be with different people on a regular basis. Please try, ok?