Windows and Doors

I wrote this while at work one day because I was somewhat bored and I was realizing these things

 There is a door. A door that has been shut and has been blocking God. Now there is a window that won't let light shine. If there is light it is very faint. Light shining through is God's light but won't shine because it's blocked. For along time that light was so faint I couldn't see it. Now I don't know where that light went. The door I had pretty much was just locked so I threw the key away. I need to find that key, I need to find it so I can unlock the window and door. The window shouldn't be blocked or locked but it is. The time has come where everything needs to be unblocked, unlocked, and opened. Just like the Tim McGraw song says, "I've tried to run, I've tried to hide. From the stained glass windows in my mind not letting God's light shine on me...." That another door I want to open and free drinking and hurting people. The time is coming where I need to choose where I'm going in life and whether or not I want to change. Change is what I want but don't know how to do it. No more making wrong a*s mistakes unless I want to spend some time in the slammer. That ain't fun. It never has been and never will be. The time is coming or the time is here where I can't continue having arguments with mom. That needs to end. That is what is making me feel so horrible. If I unblock or unlocked doors and windows I'm sure life would be better. Windows that aren't opened will just lead to more anger and pain and it would always be more hot and uncomfortable. Beig that I've had them shut for most of my life I think it's time to open them. God is the father of all living things but he can't be your father unless you except him in your life. He can't help you, guide you or show you his light unless you accept him as your father. He wants me but I turn him away. I hide in a shell telling him to bug off because I don't want to be near him or be seen by him. Change is hopefully on it's way. There is a broken mirror that has missing piece. I just broke it because I couldn't deal with life or anything. Not only did i break the mirror but I also broke a window because I didn't want life or anything to come in. I broke the mirror so I wouldn't have to  see the reflection of myself. The doors are up but nothing else is. I tell myself I don't belong anywhere. I tell myself that things aren't ever going to be ok. I wants things to be ok but I doesn't have faith in myself. I feel I don't belong in church. She is scared of being hurt, hurting others, and hurting myself. Life in itself I don't feel is worth it. Life isn't worth while. The thing that keeps me going is my niece and nephew. I'm not going to hurt myself but I'm scared that I will. The light is so far gone that I'm about to hurt myself because everything is going wrong. That light i don't will get light again.

 

Reviews

[Mr. Lopez]

Hello lonely girl,
this write is much like a short poem that i wrote called "locked door." I understood this poem to be a declaration of spiritual inprisonment that only change could set free. The light that you speak of is a constant light and everlasting. It is up to us to unlock those doors and open the windows that allow Gods light to shine in on our lives. Change begins in the heart. It sounds as if you are well on your way . I really liked the truth behind your words. A lovely write my friend.

Mr. Lopez