Can I have you back?

Poem is good. The story started with hope and desire. You ending the poem with sadness and pain. In my lifetime I would of traded my life many times. A sad and powerful ending. A excellent poem.
Coyote

Posted 14 Years Ago

nice write! i like this but you can do much better. ;)

Posted 14 Years Ago

I liked it, but the end made me gag at the clicheness.is that even a word.......Any ways, you also you attempted to rhyme at random times during the poem, it was odd, and probably not thought out. Good story, bad medium, you're not a good poet, perhaps you should try to make this into a story?

Posted 14 Years Ago

set this to some acoustic guitar chords and you're set with the next hit!

Posted 14 Years Ago

Ah yes, I am familiar with Carrie. Much approprtiate, maybe you should play the song while we read the poem?

Well written. At first glance, I see no flaws in and of your work. Okay, let me rephras that: no MAJOR flaws (God, I miss the indent feature) in your work. Another good job.

Posted 14 Years Ago

i liked it it was sad i thought it to be some love story where you wanted the guy back but it was much diffrent and i was confused on this line

A tree I saw on the shoulder
i know what you mean but it implys you saw a tree on your are maby you meant over your shoulder or even a diffrent word but regardless i liked the poem

Posted 14 Years Ago

A powerful, heartwrenching poem.
It's nicely written and a great poem.
Not much else I can say. :)

Posted 14 Years Ago

This is so heart tugging!
I like this alot. This is very well written.
So full of powerful emotion.

Posted 14 Years Ago

I knew I don’t have any chance
But still I asked myself
Can I have you back?

Aww... Really Good !!

Posted 14 Years Ago