Left Behind

I'm alone and I happen to be left due to illness.. :(

Left Behind

 

I’m left behind.

No one to talk to

No one to walk by my side

No one to distract me

No one to hug me behind

 

You turned out to be one

One of the ‘in crowds’

One where I don’t belong

And the reason why you left

 

I pursued to get along with life

And yet, you’re still on my mind

I knew you’ll leave me behind

I didn’t have the guts,

The guts to trust myself

 

Life isn’t really fair

With God watching him as he goes away

And me, sitting there crying

Trying to change everything

But I can’t

I’m not a God to change everything

It’s just that

You mean more than anything

And now there’s one thing I really know

I’m all left behind.

Author's Note

What do you think? Well this was a fast write I don't know where it goes.. :D

Reviews

[bianca]

you're getting out of the hook.. stay on the topic.

[quinfinn]

well, at least you didn't leave behind your talent and your love for writing and sharing your emotions. it needs a little work, but this is a lovely poem and could be polished to a dazzling jewel with a little effort. very nice write!

[Mark]

I like the line no one to distract me. It reminds me of the way friends help distract us from our own negative thoughts.

[MoonShine]

I loved the emotion this poem portrays, there are some errors, but what really matters is the content, which you always seem to satisfy.
And as for...
"This has very bad mistakes, it made it almost nonsensical. Please edit your writings before showing people, it's quite disrespectful not to."
I respect your opinion, but there are obviously other reviewers who enjoyed this piece (including me), please refrain from imposing edits, as that is the author's choice/style.

[alison13]

this is a good write. well-written, and on my perspective, it's not a mistake like some other person mentioned in the review. good job. :)

[Huggy Bear]

Your thoughts are very consistent and powerful. I really like it:)

[Dev]

I liked it. . :)

[Bette]

i like this the rhythm is good but i would like you to work on your musical tune here the poem would be completed if you worked on that. but again i say well done

[deeps]

I enjoyed this write.
Powerful and full of emotion.
This is a very well written write.

[The Analog Kid]

I bit simplistic, but looks like you cleaned up the glaring errors, which is good:) Free-form flow is good though.