Tangerine Moon

inspired by a drive early one night

Walking on a dream
Of butter-cream skies
And sugarplum fields
A Tangerine moon
Lies above

Beckoning with sweet drips

That only night creatures taste

Leaving all who live in daylight yearn-

For sunlight’s bitter edge
Purses lips and tightens skin-
leaving many red with anger
they seek shelter or the comfort of Verde Vera
who’s tendril fingers brush everywhere
releasing cold ecstatic vibrations
that echo through shattered pores

a sigh of relief escapes
but the sun’s bitter taste will return
inflamed by the brush of a shirt,
or the water from the shower head
leaving one paralyzed in sweaty snake sheets

till the night comes
and you slip into a dream
where you smell the sweet fragrance
of a  tangerine moon

and your mouth waters

Author's Note

feedback encouraged

Reviews

[.SaveSydney!.]

I love this. ;D
I like all of the details, and how you presented imagary so profoundly.
Great job!

[RTB]

that was good wording i liked the way it was presented good job

[R E Tree]

Powerful and stunning. Your very good at describing, I can tell you have practised writing to describe to make this perfect. I do agree practise makes perfect. Some adjectives draw the reader in and make them think deeper about this poem. I love the line "where you smell the sweet fragrance" because sweet is such a powerful adjective, it affects the reader making them feel they should smell something sweet. Great job.

[Scott Christian]

This actually made me hungry. It's a beautiful, well-written poem that flows perfectly. You might want to re-position the picture, though, as it breaks up the formatting a bit.

[Shin]

I love the details, it's full of them which makes it not hard to imagine, it's creatively expressed.

[Cassiopia Summers]

I think it is wonderfully expressed. It creates beautiful imagery. Imagery that seems like a dream within reach. (: Amazing write!

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

As beautiful as the words are to the eye, they sing to the ear. Your desciptions are very vivid and alive.

Linda Marie

[the-One-with-the-Darkne..]

Beckoning with sweet drips

That only night creatures taste

Leaving all who live in daylight yearn-
i love that and this part


till the night comes
and you slip into a dream
where you smell the sweet fragrance
of a tangerine moon

and your mouth waters


incredible i love this u have and amazing eye for imagery

[Molafvt]

Very "tasty" choice of words Jason. This is a lovely contrast between the Sun's harsh rays and the Moon's healing properties; a soliloquy of night and day, hot and cool. This is written with a mouth watering alliteration. Very nice write full of color and feeling. Nice job dude.!

[Natalie]

Very beautiful. I loved the imagery, you're very good at writing sensory lanuage. Loved the description too, it was very strong. I enjoyed reading this a lot. One of my favorites :D