The Hymns

The hymns sound softer in the fading light of the valley

Yet the grass doesn’t sway any slower

And the clouds don’t hang over the mountain tops any gentler
but when the earth rains and the sky splits

And all of the stars bend

 

Hope rises from the buds of the cherry blossoms

And float down of the wings of myriad nymphs

Humming sweet songs of the dance between the nectar and the honey bee

Till the silence of first frost comes creeping across the land

Leaving only the crisp crunch of boots in freshly fallen powder

And the pad of rabbits pawprints

 

But when the rays of the gentle sun come unduly

A yearning builds within the branches and adolescent hearts

For the sweet release of bird songs and flower-laced breezes

The breathe of the undying earth lingers

until the free roam gaily

 

reaching out into the heavens

where the feathers of paradise rain down on the shining bless’ed

and the portal across the universe lays open

so lovers and old men can cross

and find beyond the sea of infinite, glittering unity

 

where the sound harkens ever so softly

building in infamy

till the crossing of styx

brings forth the glorious roaring flame

painting in ash the sins of all creation

 

nevermore does the smoke rise

unto the valley where the hymns echo off the snow-peaks

and the stars arc around the rings of Demeter

but the dreams of free men still find their dreams nestled there

among the fields of wheat tended by immortal shepards.

Author's Note

i wrote this a while back and am posting it up here as was written but can make edits if necessary

Reviews

[Abdul Aziz]

Whoa, poetry at its finest! I do not agree with Dinesh that the first stanza is "scintillating". All stanzas are! Awesome diction, awesome imagery. I could keep quoting lines from this till I exhaust the whole poem. I'll refrain from doing so, and add this to my favorites.
100/100

[Dinesh Sairam]

LOL, trust me or not, I just picked up a haiku to send to the members of 'Saints of haiku' and it's related to this poem. I'll say it at the end. Now to the review.

The first stanza was scintillating - stand-out piece of art. I know you are supposed the paint the picture, but I feel you should maintain the form as well, try not to deviate by using longer lines. Other than the deviation in lines, this is such a depicting poem. But the first stanzas was the best, I could keep reading it :)

Keep writing :)

Oh sorry, the Haiku :

"So very still, even
Cherry blossoms are not stirred
By the temple bell.

~ Fuhaku (Japanese poet)."