Silent Crush

There was silence, endless silence. My hands shook nervously and my brow was getting sweaty. Her lips hadn’t moved, her eyes just stared back at me with a sort of emptiness. She just stood there not even blinking.

 

            This was the girl who I had been after for months, the one who I had admired secretly from afar while slowly inching my way closer. She seemed all but oblivious to this as if I was nothing but a tiny fly and she a bowl of honey. Soon I found myself lost unable to decide what to do or how to even admit my feelings to her. An opportunity soon presented itself, the dance, an event that was earnestly marked in the calendars of every high schooler. An event, given her own popularity, she would surely attend. I knew I had to act fast and ask before anyone else did, this meant I had a little over 4 days. 4 days to come up with a game plan. 4 days to think out all possible scenarios both real and imaginary. 4 days to finally grow some balls and ask. I wasn’t ready.

            The day, however, which I had set in my calendar inevitably arrived and despite the bottomless pit that had formed in my stomach I was somehow sane enough to realize that I had to do it today; otherwise I would lose all the progress I had made and be sent to the status of “hopeless dreamer”.

            I went to history shaking like a wet dog after a downpour. I was so nervous that I dropped all of my papers. And who picked them up might you ask? Why she of course. She slowly gathered them up and handed them to me. I mumbled “thanks” , she smiled and walked away. I felt so much like a fly. My history teacher didn’t help much; she seemed to have x-ray vision purposely calling on me as if she could see my dilemma. I later learned that this wasn’t a source of seeming physic power but rather the result of the grade on my last paper, a resounding D+.

            After class was lunch and I knew that this was my opportunity. I would wait until after and “corner” her (although cornering sounds like she’s some kind of convict so to rephrase) I “approached” her, and to my surprise somehow the words slipped out of my mouth.

            This was where we came in.

            So it was silence again. A never-ending piercing silence that crept up behind me, waiting for the perfect moment and shouting, “boo!” scaring me shitless. The grip of my terror made the silence last for a lifetime before her lips finally parted.

            The single word she spoke was beautifully quiet, like snow falling;

                        “Yes”

            My heart soared and I hastily resisted the urge to pick her up in a giant hug then and there but I remained composed. Instead I looked at the clock in wonder.

            Only two minutes had passed.

 

            Then silence again.

Reviews

[Rusteesgirl]

Over all it was great i just loved it! i could take the part were it says
“corner” her (although cornering sounds like she’s some kind of convict so to rephrase)
seems a little pointless and i can't decide if i like the ending its great but a cliff hanger!

[Livana Lowell]

Wow, the scene is portrayed quick and comical. It's a relatable piece and the feelings are drawn out wonderfully.

However, a suggestion of mine is to revise this sentence: "My hands shook nervously and my brow was getting sweaty". It's awkward because you had elaborate imagrey and this one was choppy to me.

I thought this was cute and funny. I thank you for sharing.