Goodbye

This is one of the most recent poems that I wrote. It describes the process that I have to say goodbye to my love. He is in a new relationship, but claims he still loves me. But I'm married.

Wrap my head around this

To say Goodbye to you

Begin this closure process 

On my own, I guess I'll have to

 

As I sit here, all alone

Emotions contained inside

In a bar and drink in hand 

Not a soul to confide 

Trust is hard to come by

How do I explain it all

Entrust my true desires

Whom will answer that call

These emotions I can't escape 

Alcohol plus drugs, I've tried

Tempestuous feelings still emerge 

To all, myself, and you I've lied

The one I fell in love with

A figment I thought you must be

How wrong I was about it

Far too late for that, I see 

A clingy and crazy demeanor

Interest lost extremely fast

Looking back now on reflection

I wish to posses the past 

That person you were not 

F*****g stupid, on my own part 

That loss I must endure 

And forever, a broken heart 

For you to crave and meet me

And lust for me once more 

That's all that I can dream about

I fucked that up, I'm tore 

To think of life without you

Brings most unbearable pain

Every moment not with you 

Happiness, I'll never gain

This last Hail Mary effort 

Although, It's still goodbye

I expected this to happen 

For you, just know I'll cry 

Surrender, I guess we must

Need save myself and you 

This future's most uncertain 

To continue now, no clue

For every battle fought 

Has ended with my defeat 

For what I have to offer

I know, I can't compete

Move mountains you have asked 

Change everything alive 

For "chance" is all you offer

Only dilemma you provide 

Destroy all that've known me

Traditions and values, all instilled

It must happen altogether 

No chance that'll be fulfilled 

"Decide your future wanted

Can't help you," that you've said 

Then displayed mixed emotions

For now I'm so mislead

If love is what you sense

And treat me as you do

Uncertainty will remain 

Were your feelings true 

Sincerely felt, I believe they were

Self protection was your goal

To blame and judge you I cannot

But the actions, still took a blow

 

Crumbling all around me

I was broken, this you knew

No comfort would you offer 

Forsaken I felt, in lieu

Understand, I know you can

To you, I have done the same

However, dwell not on the past

Let our agony consume in flame

Goodbye has come so quickly

After that night I felt the spark 

Feelings I'd thought gone, rekindled

Then pushed back in the dark

Scared of what would happen

Forgo my face, you've chose

Now comes my soon departure

And leaves me many woes

Yet you say, that you want me

"Come back to me one day" 

Then each and every night

With him you choose to lay

The hurt, jealousy and anguish 

How'd you move on so quick 

You promised that not happen 

Now (You're) living with him, I'm sick

Can you blame, for how I feel

My love for you, you'll never know

A huge part of life, you were

However It'll never get to show 

Happiness, for you I wish 

Now certain that I lose 

Your desires I hope are filled

For me, you did not choose 

Forget of me, I beg you now

My existence forever gone

For never was I good enough

To you, the greatest con

Howbeit I can promise 

You'll always be in my heart

No matter what the circumstance 

Or the distance we're apart

This greatest loss, I'll endure

I will always wonder, if

Had I given myself unto you

Would I still be at a lonesome cliff 

This depressed anxious despair 

Overwhelming to say the least 

You'll forever be in my thoughts

Our memories, until I'm deceased

All the moments we created

Wish amnesia to dull the pain

But never to remember them

Would drive me completely insane

 

Your affection, kiss, and touch

Left me absolutely ecstatic 

And everything else about you 

None of it was problematic 

Goodbye, I now must tell you 

The future looks so grim 

Lost love I'll have to deal with

For you though, you have him

I know your response will be

A wife, you have someone too

You know that case is different 

And it's still Goodbye to you

Goodbye shouldn't be forgetting

At least it doesn't on my part

But continued communication

Likely severed from the start

Reviews

[BThomvanWart]

I'm honestly amazed by how well you managed to keep the rhythm going with this while also keeping the rhyme scheme on point. I don't think I could ever say anything needs to be changed. It's such a painful, but well written piece and to change it could just diminish the emotions you're trying to get across. Dare I say, it's a perfect piece. There's so much sadness and loss, but it's almost like I went on this journey with you and experienced the pain and anguish along side of you. Such a great piece and so well written. Keep up the fantastic work.

[ReedWrite]

Married to one...in love with another. In the end, everyone loses.
You penned the pain very well. :)