a druggie ive become, a druggie i am no more.

Everytime I slip into my mouth, I cannot wait for joy of the chemcials mixing throughout my body.

The drug rushes through my body.

Seeps into my skin

Dialates my eyes, and makes me disappear.

I am not myself.

I am watching myself from above.

 

I am becoming the druggie I see on the streets.

I am not homeless but I've run away from my problems

I run away by hidng through a drug.

I am not myself.

I am not Svetlana

But Lana, a girl I do not know.

Everytime I start to feel it.

I push away the feelings of regret

I see pictures flash before my eyes, of my father crying asking why? He doesn't know the extent of what I've done.

Of my mother rolling over in her grave, digusted with what her child is doing?

Then I feel it more, I feel it take away the pain.

 

Everything that hurt me goes away.

I am not Svetlana, the vulernable girl who crys at night.

I am Lana, beautiful in the night, shining eyes glazed back.

I am high as a kite, im my own world where no one can hurt me

Down below. I see the faces of those who are conserned.

I see the tears, the fears, the stares of those who know me.

Those who know who I am and know what I will become.

I see those who love me and those who pretend.

 

Those who love me feel they have lost me.

Those who pretend claw at me, breaking me apart.

As the drugs rush through my body, I regret it even more.

I don't need these drugs. I just need a helping hand.

Author's Note

ignore grammar issues, this poem is very special to me so please review it anyway you want.

Reviews

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

My husband died from herion addiction ten years ago. Actually he got staff infection, and had a massive heart attack. Drug addiction is not only dangerous but selfish. The poem is very well written, that you are able to put so many feelings and emotions out for us to read. How hard it is quit once you start and how one tries so hard to escape the pain of the real world. An excellent write. Thank you for sharing. Debileah

[INSURGENT*76]

Lana's are a dime a dozen , and very rarely are they beautiful .

Svetlana's , on the other hand , are a rare and precious find , to be cherished and defended � I hope she wins in the end.

[youngwriter222]

It's sad to know that people do drugs to escape, but they feel it is their only way out and they need them to be happy.
I like how you were open about this and expressed your feelings freely, not many people would tell about something like this.
You did a great job and I enjoyed reading it!