Another One Of Those Stupid Breakup Stories

for those who have read this already, the only thing you might want to read would be the epilogue at the end o the story

Another One Of Those Stupid Break Up Stories

 

I’m the kind of person who fantasizes about love. The kind of girl who sits through a chick flick and indulges herself in the story. Oddly enough, I am also the girl who knows that it will never work out that way. I am a realist. And being this so-called realist, I don’t find myself in many relationships. Sure, I’ll flirt until my heart’s content, but to actually commit, that’s a rarity. It’s not that I’m afraid of commitment, it’s just that when I commit, I feel like I can do it for life. And in most cases, my “significant other” does not feel the same way. Sure, they say they do, but we all know this is not the case. So, in light of this deadly depressing topic, I will share with you another stupid break up story.

 

Like I said before, I’m not one to get into relationships. Christianity is very important to me and is the being of who I am. I will not date anyone who is not Christian. And I don’t care what anyone says, it’s just my belief. And being this way, I find myself in very few relationships. It’s not that no one will ask me out, I just won’t do it. Oh, I’ll dream of it, but I know it will never come out the way I imagined.

 

     At the beginning of junior year, my best friend Micah (and the guy that I was currently in love with) introduced me to his new friend, Jayme. Jayme was really cool and funny. He had gorgeous blue eyes that sparkled when he smiled. He knew that I liked Micah and Micah somewhat liked me. See, Micah is one of the most complicated guys ever. But Jayme would always try to hook us up or whatever. He encouraged us to get together. We all started hanging out outside of school. We saw movies together, along with my older sister. We had fun hanging out together.

    

     Well, I had to fly to California for a family emergency. So I am on my cousin’s computer and am emailing Jayme. Lately Micah has been getting more distant and Jayme closer. Also I had been noticing that Jayme was flirting with me a lot. I even pointed that out to him at church the previous week. Or maybe he pointed out to me.

 

I think he said, “You’re flirting with me!”

 

In which I shot back, “You always flirt with me!”

 

To that, he just put a finger to his lips and responded, “Shhhhh.”

 

     So as I’m emailing him, I ask him if he liked me. He said I wasn’t going to get it out of him that easy. Eventually I did, and he said he did. The whole week I was in California, I talked to Jayme. He told me that he really liked me. He said he loved me. I asked him how he knew that. I remember him distinctly telling me that he knew the difference between love and lust. This was love. When I flew back to Hawaii, Jayme and I were basically together. The only issue was how to tell Micah. Well, turns out Micah didn’t really care, which was good, but it kind of hurt. But anyway, Jayme and I hung out at school together (we did anyway; we all hang out in my favorite teacher’s classroom everyday).

     We had been together for a month and a half. It was winter break and I was thinking of how we could hang out. Jayme’s birthday was coming up in January, and his little sister and I were thinking of planning a surprised birthday party for him.

     On one of the days of break, Jayme was going to go with me and my family to see a movie, but then he asked me to go see a movie with his family and Micah. So I went with them. Jayme was acting really weird. He was still his bouncy self, but acted distant from me. I didn’t know what his problem was, but I assured myself I was overreacting. Micah and I were messing around in the theater. We squeezed ourselves into the little car thing that you have to put it two quarters to ride. Then we had Jayme’s little sister take a picture. Micah was talking to me, but Jayme wasn’t. Micah’s my best friend, and he’s Jayme’s best friend also. It’s complicated, and maybe a little bit awkward. I don’t think Jayme was worried or anything, although he should have been; I had been crazy about Micah for a year! But this wasn’t the case.

     So the following week, about three days before we went back to school, Jayme was supposed to come over and hang out. At Thursday night bible study, Danny (youth pastor) was saying that there was going to be a concert at a church downtown. He asked Jayme if he was going and Jayme was like, “Yeah!” He had forgotten about our plans. Which didn’t bother me too much, so I said playfully, “Oh so you're going to skip out on me?”

     He looked at me quizzically. “Huh?”

     Danny looked at the both of us and asked me, “Juli, did you guys have plans?”

     I nodded. “Not big ones, but plans nonetheless.”

     Danny looked at Jayme. “Yeah, do not cancel your plans.”

     Jayme laughed and didn’t say much.

 

     Later I had asked my mom if I could change the plans and go with him to the concert. She said no. Then she took me outside and talked to me about Jayme. My whole family loves him and says he fits right in. But she pointed out some things to me. She told me she had been noticing that I seem to change everything to fit his schedule. That I seem to be the one putting any effort in the relationship. So I thought

 

I had decided to walk a longer way to class, just so I could walk with him.

 

I made every single plan we had ever made. Except for the movie, I think his little sister actually invited me.

 

I would call him only to talk to him for like, five minutes, because he hated the phone.

 

I would put up with the fact that he would be very distant from me.

 

     Oh my gosh. I was in the process of letting him use me! Now, this may not seem like a big deal to you, but even some of my friends had pointed out that I shouldn’t be going out of my way for him, that it should be the opposite, or at least shared. I’m also the kind of person who is very independent and encourage my girl friends to never let a guy take all of who they are. And here I was, unbeknownst to myself, doing the exact same thing so many girls do! That in itself, made me angry.

     I called Jayme and told him that I couldn’t go to the concert and that he should just go. I don’t remember exactly what else I said to him, but I do remember the end of the conversation. I think I asked him if he was okay and stated the fact that he didn’t really talk to me much. He said, “Well, I’m not that talkative.” I remember replying, “How come you’ll talk to everyone else then?” And boy was lying. Most of the time I can’t get him to shut up!

 

     Finally I asked him, “Do you even want to be in a relationship with me?”

 

     He was silent for a moment. “I don’t know.”

 

     That broke my heart. “Well, when you figure it out, let me know,” I said sharply.

 

     “Okay.”

 

     Then we hung up.

 

     That whole weekend I cried and felt miserable. My mother comforted me and assured me that everything would be okay. That Jayme would realize that he was being stupid. Everyone assured me that. But I was told that I should give him space and act like it didn’t bother me.

     So when we returned to school, I was friendly to Jayme, even though I was tearing myself up inside. But I went on acting like it was normal. He was really friendly to me, which actually made me mad. He acted like nothing was happening. This went on for three days.

     Finally I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to ask him. So, during lunch while we were in the classroom with all of our friends, I went up to him.

 

“So, are we ever going to talk?” I asked.

 

He smiled uncomfortably. “What’s up?”

 

I looked at him like he was an idiot. “Did you figure it out?”

 

Then, he launches into this whole confusing ramble saying, “I think we should blow it off like a mosquito…a balloon…”

 

I am extremely confused by this random paragraph he’s saying. “So, we’re done then?”

 

Then he looks at me like I’m the retarded one! “Yeah, that’s what I just said. I realized that I wasn’t mature enough for a relationship.”

 

I am fuming by now and I feel the tears coming. “Okay.”

 

“Is it okay?” he asked.

 

I nodded.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

I just walked outside the classroom so he wouldn’t see me cry. My friends Marissa and Devin came outside and saw me crying. They hugged me hard and I told them what happened through my muffled tears. I ended up wiping the tears away and walking back into the classroom where Jayme was. My friends are hilarious, and I was trying to laugh at their jokes. Then the tears started coming back. I stared hard at the ground praying to God the tears wouldn’t fall. My teacher caught my eye, and he motioned me into his office. He had me sit in a chair in the corner and cry so no one could see me. I cried and cried. I told him what happened (i.e. I am very close with my teacher; I tell him everything). He made me laugh and feel better. Thank you Mr. Matteson.

 

I got over it, or at least I thought I did. Jayme acted like we were great friends not but a week after. Like any broken-hearted girl, I hated him. Of course, he was extremely nice, so I was nice. But I despised him. I don’t think I’ve even gotten to the point of actually being friends with him.

 

After the breakup, I found out some new things that made me hate him more. And I realized a few things. I found out that he liked this girl who had a boyfriend. This was three weeks after we broke up. My friend Devin was friends with this girl. The girl told Devin she could tell me, which was greatly appreciated. Apparently they had been talking for a few weeks. I did my calculations and realized he may have dumped me because he liked her. That made me mad because then he had lied to me. And I HATE it when people lie. That’s the one thing I can’t stand the most.

 

Another thing I realized was that I had written down a list of confessions that I hadn't told anyone else ever for him like a few weeks before we broke up. Probably the most personal thing I wrote was that I was going through a depression and had been since March 2007. I never told anyone that. Then he dumps me. Maybe he just couldn’t handle a girl that was so screwed up. That wasn’t as deep as a kiddie pool. He screwed me over when I needed him the most. I was in furiated about that.

 

The other thing that greatly upset me was that I really wanted to go to prom. I was a junior and he was a sophomore. He didn’t really want to go because he didn’t like dancing. But hello, I’m a girl and prom is every girl’s dream. He wanted to go to sophomore banquet. I had enough money to go to both, but he didn’t. There was a high possibility that the banquet would be canceled. We had to turn in our money and forms and can’t change it after, because our school is moronic. So I succumbed to going to the banquet instead of my Junior Prom, which is the most important prom in Hawaii. Usually Senior Ball is the most important, but not here.

 

Well, we broke up a few weeks later. There were no refunds. I could not go to Prom because it was too late and I had to go to sophomore banquet with my ex. Luckily my girl friend was going so I could hang out with her too.

 

It was so hard, because Jayme and I danced together, talked, and had fun. I almost started liking him again, but after that night, I remember what a jerk he had been to me. It was over and there was no way I was going back

 

 

So five months has passed.

 

Is he my friend?

 

No.

 

Do I still talk to him?

 

Sadly.

 

Stupid Jayme.

 

 

EPILOGUE: Jayme and I barely ever talk, but I'm okay with that. I'm somewhat the same as mentioned above. I'm still the type of girl who wants it to work out, but hopes that it does, despite what I know will probably happen. Also, that whole dating a non-Christian thing, well, I came to my own conclusion. I’d rather date a non-Christian than a hypocritical one, which is what I'm beginning to see more and more. However, I still am careful on who I date and how they lead their life and what choices they make. That’s what’s important to me these days.

 

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