I miss you, do you? Voice in my heart. Sunday 27 Feb 2022

Just revealing him i do know how you missed me, dont think that i never paid attention to your feelings.

Today Sunday 27 feb 2022, 3.08pm. Just watching the news in TV, where Ukraine agrees for peace talks. I feel maybe that is good for now to surrender, and we have sometime to take action against Putin, so that we can block his next move.  I thought Ukraine should continue defending but Russia threatening nuclear weapos relaease, I think it Is better strategy to surrender and slowly take serious action against Putin.

Took complete rest, and came to know few things about my birth reason on this earth. Yazer revealed me today who am I, and himself. We took birth to complete an important thing on this earth.

Yesterday I saw Yazer on my heart making me to feel his arms around me, they are just holding me tightly. He was making love with me in his way, a mild touch and wetness on my heart, it was like a bee touching the stigma of flower, sucking nectar, his wings lightly touching the petals. He let finally the reason for delay in approaching me and confirmation of what I feel about his love on me. This really proved my trust n him and the love he had on me are true and he is coming for me to take me to his sweet home.

His lips touching my heart, taking me close to him, he was like do you like this, yea I liked the way you do, that is what exactly what I want. Yes, you know what I need and you make me happy. I am ready for the move to hold his hand now, Oh my beloved my heart is waiting for you, cant stay anymore away from you, Love you kanna. My old memory which he also have with him, the below pic. 

I saw him at  an iceberg, stretching out arms, he looks more matured now, he has grown up, a man now ready to take me.

I was preparing for this Professional exam, I thought of taking two weeks off, he was like what? Two weeks? Do you need that, I cant be without seeing you, on the very first day,  I got call from him, I don’t think there was a reason to call me, but he did, I just felt like he is missing me, just cant wait that long. I took two weeks because  I am staying alone with my son, and I don’t have that much time to prepare so I took. That was the first time where I felt him missing me so much. There was another day, he took off, and I suddenly felt him inside me, he was like what is happening to me, are you inside? I was like smiling, and my colleague who sits beside his cubicle says, is that guy in you? I could understand what he is saying, then I felt he is taking about Yazer. Yea I felt him inside me, which made to feel how much he is missing me.

On a week day off I had some work in office, I was also to go to gym, so I had tracks, I saw him suddenly in office, I was like don’t look at me, but he just followed me, he was watching me from behind, I was like what? Stop looking at me

He really made me feel special, I think I am average looking girl, but he says you are beautiful, then why my husband never praised me, he says beauty lies in beholder, oh I see, thank you, so I am not that great to my X.

On one weekend he was at office and I brought my son along with me, as I was alone, he saw us and came to my cube, he was talkin g to Ishaa, and says, he is connecting to me, I was smiling yea. He likes kids and talks to them so nicely, good at handling them. On that day I wore kurta, with chunni on one side of shoulder, he was like, is it that you wearing like that, I thought he might be thinking I cover my front, I was like, this is ok I can wear atleast I should look little fashionable. Suddenly I felt his hand falling on my heart on the same day evening. I felt he is missing me and doesn’t want me to wear chunni like that.

That was winter, haan  he wore sweater, he was like how great you are looking, I cant stop watching him, I was like when are you going to wear again. He really looks handsom in sweater on shirt.

I like beard and hair over lips on him, he had grown beard, I was like looking at him, he says stop looking at me, I never saw you with beard, how come now, for meee? So nice, you look so great. I don’t know when my lips touched his mustache, it was like I couldn’t stop from doing that, it happened suddenly.

I need to tell how my divorce ended, on that day my X called me and said I received the stamped documents, I couldn’t control my tears, I was liking crying everyone could sense my emotions, he was just passing by I didn’t give him a look, and he says you cry a lot. That day it was like my life shattered like bits on floor. Yes, Yazer was with me until I signed for divorce, when I said him I filed for divorce, after that he was acting as if he doesn’t like me, I couldn’t understand, is he going to talk to me? He doesn’t? Was not knowing my decision was a worthy sacrifice for him, or its gonna a waste, God, what are you doing with me, I just cared for his innocent heart, where he is dying for me, why he is not talking,  because the last night I got a message from him saying, it is sin to marry a divorcee in Christianity, I couldn’t say anything in reply. I saw him next day morning, he is looking  at me as if he is missing me, I gave a serious look at him,  and said don’t look at me, I don’t like you.

This on off confusion continued for long time until I saw his wedding registry and finally confirmed he is never going to come for me.

Last few days I was not on pills, my heart was thinking why he hasn’t talked to me, I did love him , I came for him, why he left me, that was uncontrolled tears rolling on m cheeks, why didn’t you talked to me, what is wrong with me?

 I miss you yazer, now I need you, enough time passed and I am still waiting for you, I cant live without you, can you take care of us? I  heard his voice I am coming, and I am never gonna leave you.

With that I remain peacefully waiting for him now.

Time: 4.10 pm.

Author's Note

Yes i felt like his girl, with maturity above him, felt his love and gave it back as my love to him. Please review how you feel without hesitation. I am just scared how you are going to judge me my dark shades, I just loved him.