Rasaleela again in this yug by beloved Krishna! Saturday 26 Feb 2022 - III

A few of his xs that i know. just trying to tell him that i already know all these about you, so dont worry.

Time: 10.07 pm, 26 Feb 2022

I want to touch his dating history, the girls with whom he had been which I know. I only know three ladies with whom he was with. This girl looks so pretty, smart and decent. She liked him so much, she was thinking yazer is 2 years younger to her, so cant think of him seriously. But I felt she liked him so much. They used to have lot of fun, where I could see in their pics. Actually she had heart break, and he tried to help her come out from that. I thought both can go ahead, but yazer is like she doesn’t love me that much. But to me she was good heart may be a little angry woman cant bear if anybody cheats her. Another one is Afro-american, he used to do romance in the office with her, she was not so beautiful with her dark skin, but she is more trendy and good looking. They used to have long talks. Another lady I know is his college mate, I havent seen her physically, but she was so pretty, I saw a picture of him on the social media site. I guess she might be his X girl friend. Because I heard him saying my X in office. .

I know story of his past where he liked one girl during his teens,  to me he said that it will not work out due to religion problems and her parents wont accept him, so he left her. Then she had a love story which lasted almost like 10 years that too didn’t work out though same religion, maybe social status barrier, felt like her mother was not accepting. I don’t know exactly, she might be rich. But still yazer is friend to him, may not be talking much, and yazer still remembers her, thinks as a memory. Because of her only I was like thinking I am in between them, but he cleared to me that he don’t like her that much. I see sometimes coming into my mind,  though I don’t hate her, she thinks I hate her, and she has that anger over me.  I just want to tell her that there is no such thing, I just want a pure relationship with Yazer, and don’t hurt us, its really hurting me, where he is torturing me sometime with her memories. Its reall hurting, don’t try to hurt me and be clear to yazer, why does she want to think him and hurt us. I feel A man and woman needs each other, no third person should enter, else it will become hell and I don’t know who is happy with that. This was the main reason for me backing off. Yazer got angry because of that, and he still thinks I am not accepting as he is. But I love and accept you what you are, but don’t hurt me or poke me, pin me at same pain, it really hurts, someone is dedicating life for you, why you want to hurt her, cant you give her love and happiness which she is giving. That’s all other than that I am not expecting anything from him.

After all knowing about his personal life I came for him and he doesn’t care to talk to me, is still there anything wrong with me, I just want to know the reason, because I am missing him, and thinking of him only, because of his nature and honesty, love and care, which I haven’t seen in anybody on this earth.

Yea he sings a song for me �" “ Deewana mujh sa nahi is umber ke niche”. I know how much he loves me, that’s why I came for him all the way to his home. I saw his writing �" Why to be”. He mentioned me as last one, all before in line are like with whom he has been temporarily. He is like he dives in me so deeply. This is the pain he creates when he wants me in office because  I never let him to have touched me wherever he can. So I just say give me pain whatever he can. It was kind of severe pain sometimes like cutting my inner soul. Once he was like hammering a nail in my forehead, red dot. He doesn’t want me to put bhindi, where I used to have red dot. Actually I never wear slevelesss, he was like why cant,  I said, why don’t you wear sleeveless in office. To me I dont like to wear even outside. Once on week off I wore saree to office, where I had to attend one pooja on the way, He was questioning me Saree in office, I said its Friday off why don’t I.

There was this international festival I wore  saree as its cultutral fest, he was like watching me from far, I was seeing him, why don’t have some food which I got, but he didn’t come I don’t know why, I guess he might be thinking something how I am looking in saree, maybe his mother.

I want to take a break, please don’t misunderstand me with my age, I just thought of Radha and Krishna, where radhais older than Krishna, so I accepted him to love. After all he is the same man as Krishna in avtar as Yazer, the beloved God to me. I adored him in the form of Krishna right from bachelors. I miss you Yazer, don’t get confused and scared of me with my serious looks at you.

Time: 10.52 pm

Author's Note

I know all these stories can be ignored, if he commits to me finally so waiting for that my beloved.

Reviews

[M. J. Smith]

Jessy, don't wait forever. Life is too short. I wish I knew hindi. I can't read some of what you write. But your sadness breaks a drifter's heart.

[JessyJacob]

Thank you for your kind words. Yea I know life is short, I have just written what my heart was feeling. Maybe you are right. I stopped feeling sad, as he only says to move on.