The girl who I want to marry

To the world,

I know this is not the usual love story you would hear every day.

Mummy, Daddy,

I was afraid and alone.

I thanked you both for raising me up and I know it wasn’t easy to bring up a child.

I know you wish for me a lovely life journey like any parents would for their children.

I knew it wasn’t your fault to face difficulties in your love journey with each other.

But, some things can’t be changed. And, I can’t deny what I went through did affect me.

It did. A great deal.

I grew up thinking I would be alone for the rest of my life because I did not believe in love, not in any person who would stay with me and love me whole-heartedly.

I doubted the existence of love since I was 10.

I really thought this would be my story for the rest of my lifetime.

But then, two months after I turned 24, I met a girl named Nicole.

I thought she would just be a friend, like any other people who came into my life and walked away.

A week passed by, two weeks passed by, three weeks passed by. On the 24^th day after we met, she asked me to be her girlfriend.

I still felt very broken and was about to leave her country back to home. I was wary of my own wish to be with her, despite I love spending time with her so much. My heart skips beat, I miss her every day, I wonder how she is doing when we weren’t texting, even when we were still strangers. 

I was afraid of disappointing the girl who cares so much about me when I didn't even know where I would be.

But, I said ‘Yes’ to her. Something told me if I didn’t take the chance, I would lose her forever.

She spoke to me on the very first night, ‘Don’t cry no more, it’s okay now, I am here’. I would never ever forget what she said. It meant so much to me, it would forever mean a lot to me.

Darling,

I know no one is perfect. We have just met 8 months ago. It probably isn’t the longest time ever, but it definitely is a very long time for me.

What you’ve made me felt and learnt is more than what I’ve learnt about love in my whole life.

You taught me true love.

You planted the seed of love in my heart, water it every day even when the land was dry.

You build life in me.

None of these words is a lie.

You must be asking yourself, whether I am exaggerating what I felt and what you meant to me. 

Bleh! No!

If you could be Jess for a day, and I could be Nicole for a day, I am sure we could feel how much we meant to each other. Nothing could describe the love we feel for each other.

Baby,

You’ve changed my life. I know, we would still have to grow up, go through many more challenges with each other, but please know, even we’ve been with each other for only 8 months, you mean more to me than anybody else in this world.

I know, others think I have lots of ‘friends’. No friends can grow old with us. No friends can give us the feeling of love only a life partner could. No friend would ever be able to make me feel happiness the way you make me feel. 

Fear not, sweetheart, only you matter to me. 

None of my friends could ever even replace 0.01% of you. I am sure they don’t matter to me because when I ask myself ‘Do you mind losing your friends?’ My answer is ‘No.’ But do I mind losing my baby girl? My answer is ‘That is equivalent to taking my life away.’

It’s true. All of these are true.

My parents would be happy for us because I would make them know how much I love you and how much you mean to me. 

I would not ever hurt the only person who keeps me alive.

I love you. 

We will conquer distance and everything together.

Hand in hand.

You're my only strength. 

Love wins.    

You taught me love and you taught me how to believe.

You are my motivation, you are my hope, you are my dream.

You are my love. 

You are my life.

You are my everything.

Without you, I am nothing.