Arrival

In which we meet Nancy and get a feel for the plot...

 

Chapter 1 

 

          Nancy Doyle woke slowly, sleep tugging at her like quicksand. Children’s voices and laughter echoed through her open window and she frowned, disoriented. Where was she? Who was laughing? Her brother, Corey, had been deaf since infancy. Maybe it was her parent’s television? The laughing stopped, followed by loud whispers, and then the sound of marching.

          Damn. Realization slammed her fully awake. The colony. She moaned and lay still, listening. Even now, five months later, she would still wake disoriented. Some mornings she still woke to Christopher’s scent and when she opened her eyes, the pain was nearly physical. The marching faded away and the sound of the children playing resumed, floating up from the Quad, bringing with it an air-conditioned breeze that puffed out her white curtains. Her mother had curtains like that, white and billowy. Nancy could remember curling up in her mother’s bed reading on sunny afternoons with the breeze from the ocean sighing through the open widow. 

          She shivered and pulled the blanket tighter around her and her unborn child. The baby stretched and Nancy stroked her shifting belly in an attempt to lull it back to sleep. At seven months, however, when the baby was awake so was Nancy. Groaning, she struggled to sit up, eyes traveling around her dimly lit room.  

          The room she had been given was plain, with no decoration except what Nancy had been able to bring with her when she left home. Her family smiled up at her from the silver frame beside her bed and her journal lay beside it, open to the entry she had been scribbling before her nap. Her and her baby’s clothes were packed into dressers, but her father’s world history textbook was resting in the Historian’s Hall, for safe- keeping. She had also brought a calendar but that had been taken from her when she arrived at the colony, five months ago. She sighed, remembering her arrival.

 

~            ~            ~

 

          It was a madhouse. The entrance to the colony was overrun with military personnel and government workers, their harsh voices everywhere. Nancy had been shown to the proper entrance and had handed her birth certificate, driver’s license, and social security card to a lady standing beside a table. Once she was cleared there, she was taken by elevator to one of the upper levels of the colony. This entire level had been devoted to medical screening. After a swift physical diagnostic of her and the baby, the medical staff gave her what shots were safe for pregnant women and stamped her file APPROVED. Clothed in new, sterile, gray overalls, she was taken down 78 levels, deep into the heart of the colony. A long passageway led to her temporary barracks, a small cubicle with four pallets. Two of her roommates were already there, huddled into their blankets crying. Nancy had chosen a remaining pallet and sank slowly under the covers. All of the sudden there seemed to be nothing to do, nothing to occupy her thoughts and keep her distracted. The events of the last forty-eight hours overwhelmed her sunk into sleep.

          She was awakened by harsh voices and the sounds of the people rising to their feet. Her hand went automatically to her belly and for a moment she thought how strange is was for Christopher to be yelling. She opened her eyes, intending to ask him what was wrong. The question died on her lips as she remembered where she was. She closed her eyes momentarily against the noise and the pain before struggling to her feet and joining the line forming in the passageway outside. 

          The crowd was led up several levels and through another, larger passageway into what appeared to be a large, central chamber. The exact middle of the colony.   The Quad, as it would come to be called, was massive. A square about the size of a football field, its ceiling stretched at least twelve stories high. Beginning about halfway up were round windows all the way around the walls; the windows on the top levels were larger and farther apart. Three other passageways led into the chamber, one directly across from the entrance through which Nancy had come and the other two on either side, thus completing the square. Nancy would later learn that each passageway led to one of the four culturally and ethically different sections of the colony. This cultural division would later be eradicated, promoting unity within the colony and discouraging prejudice, but in the beginning it was necessary to maintain organization.

          With the majority of the colony packed inside the chamber, the roar of whispered conversation was incredible. Nancy closed her eyes for a moment, unconsciously pressing two fingers to her temples. She was exhausted and aching and all she wanted was to be back in her pallet, sleeping.

          “Don’t worry, it’ll be over soon.” A soft voice spoke in her ear. 

          Startled, she opened her eyes and turned toward the source of the voice. A tall, black soldier was standing behind her, his M-16 at the ready. As he turned to usher the next group into the chamber, he paused and looked back over his shoulder. 

          His skin was the color of caramel and his eyes were the most amazing light blue. They crinkled around the edges and his teeth flashed white as he grinned. Nancy involuntarily grinned back and despite the horror of the past few days and the fear of the future, she felt for the first time that it might be okay. 

          The feeling was momentary and fleeting. As soon as the whole colony was inside the chamber, the lights dimmed and the noise stopped. For a moment they stood there in semi-darkness, glancing at each other and shrugging their shoulders at silent questions. Suddenly, the far wall lit up and the colony’s leader came into view. 

          The colonial leader chosen had been Vice President Theodore Waldrop. On the screen, he was wearing a black suit with gold cuff links, a white shirt, and a black tie. In the past, on television with the President, Nancy remembered being struck by Waldrop’s grace and poise, as well as his incredibly polite manner. His wife, Mary-Elizabeth Waldrop was the perfect compliment to her husband. She seemed to glide instead of walk and her smile was gracious and kind. Now, Nancy could see the stress of the past few days etched on Theodore Waldrop’s face and he looked every bit his fifty-seven years. For a moment, he merely sat there, looking down into his hands, at a loss for words. A woman moved into view and sat down beside him. Mary-Elizabeth was also changed by the crisis. Her normally perfect hair was pulled back into a simple bun and her smile was sad and sympathetic as she took her husband’s hand. He looked up into her face and seemed to forget for a moment that they were live in front of five thousand viewers. At last, he sighed and turned to face the screen.

          “People of America. My advisors have prepared a script for me to read to you, but I have decided that no script can do justice to what needs to be said. What must be said. First and foremost, I am sorry. I am sorry that it was necessary to keep you all in the dark for so long. The President and I were in total agreement, however, that it was the only way to prevent mass chaos within the country. I hope, in time, you will forgive us. I am also deeply sorry for the tragedy that each and every one of you has had to suffer. And for the sorrow yet to come.” 

          He glanced down at his hands again and sighed, searching for what to say next.

          “Secondly, you are all more than aware of the situation on the surface. As long as we can receive communication from the surface, we will continue to keep you updated on their status. However, because there is little governmental structure remaining and in order to protect the colony, I must inform you that no records of surface survivors will be kept, no daily death tolls announced, and petitions for surface messages to be sent or received will not be accepted. Indeed, they will not even be tolerated. Our unity and survival here is crucial. I know you understand that.

          Your next few weeks will be spent undergoing a series of rigorous tests, of all types. Our specialists will use these tests to determine your living quarters, exercise regimen, and job placement. All non-English speaking citizens will be required to take courses to learn the language. This decision is regrettable, but necessary. If we are to survive, we must be able to communicate with each other. Mandatory, bi-weekly appointments with a psychiatrist will be enforced for a minimum of the first six months. This applies to every adult in the colony, including Mary and myself, and is non-negotiable. Every adult is expected to work for the good of the colony. Children from the ages of six months old to six years old will be placed into age appropriate childcare during the day. An educational system is in place for those six through eighteen.”

          Here, Waldrop smiled, his eyes crinkling at the edges, dissolving years from his face. 

          “I am told that we have several expectant mothers in our ranks. My congratulations to you! Yours will be the first children born to the colony and, therefore, will be incredibly important. You and your children will receive outstanding care.” 

          Nancy released a breath that she hadn’t realized she was holding. She remembered Christopher’s last words and was relieved beyond measure. For the second time that day, she smiled.

          “I want to thank you for taking the time to listen today. I know these next few months will be a struggle for us all and I ask you to be brave, patient, tolerant, and understanding of your neighbors. Do not allow prejudice to influence your actions; this tragedy has made us all equals. Wealth, poverty, and social status hold no sway here—we are all victims of fate, brothers and sisters in our grief. I know you will exceed all my expectations . . . as well as your own.” 

          The screen went black and the lights brightened. As they filed back through their respective passageways, the people were silent, reflecting what they had just heard. There had been an almost tangible feeling of relief. There was a schedule, a plan. In a time of chaos there is great comfort in knowing which direction you’re going and, for the first time in forty-eight hours, people knew what to expect.

Reviews

[Weaver]

"Her brother, Corey, had been" - no commas
"her parent’s television"- should be "parents' " if you mean more than one
comma after "Some mornings"
comma after "Christopher's scent"
comma after "baby stretched"
comma after "beside her bed"
comma after "calendar"

"All of the sudden" - "All of a sudden" - I think this would sound better as "suddenly"
"overwhelmed her sunk into sleep" - confusing
"awakened by harsh voices" - used "harsh voices" in previous paragraph - this is a bit redundant unless changed to "the harsh voices" (deliberate reference back to previous)
comma after "to her belly"
"larger passageway" and "large, central chamber" in same sentence - change one 'large' to something else?
"The exact middle of the colony" - this should be combined with the previous sentence with a comma
"This cultural division..." - Good idea, letting people have time to get used to a unified culture.
"roar of whispered conversation" - nice description - even whispers are loud in sufficient numbers
"in her pallet" - "on her pallet"
comma, not period, after "it’ll be over soon"
comma after "involuntarily grinned back"
"the whole colony was inside" - The term 'colony', referring to the people, is somewhat confusing, since it could also indicate the place. Would "all the colonists were inside" work better?
"In the past, on television with the President, Nancy remembered" - confusing/awkward (Nancy isn't the one who was on television) - how about "In the past, seeing him on television, Nancy remembered" instead?
no comma after "His wife" (or put a comma after her name as well as before)
comma after "glide instead of walk"
comma after "Theodore Waldrop’s face"
comma after "simple bun"
"Your next few weeks" - this needs a quotation mark in front of it (same speaker as previous paragraph)
"This applies to every adult in the colony" - Wouldn't it be a good idea to also monitor the psychological states of the non-adults?
"age appropriate childcare" - "age-appropriate"
comma after "struggle for all of us"
comma after "screen went black"
"reflecting what they had just heard" - "reflecting on"
comma after "time of chaos"

Good, strong writing style, interesting plot, vivid (and appropriate) descriptions: this story is off to an excellent start. If I found this novel in a library, I'd definitely choose it to read for enjoyment.

[TL Boehm]

now I am really wondering what happened on the surface. this is strongly written and poses many questions. Well done.