Les Fauve.

Les Fauves (French for The Wild Beasts)

I always thought I'd look back on  tears and laugh, but I never thought I'd look back on laughter and cry...
It's hard to explain. It's hard to explain myself. But I never tell lies. Everything I say is true, even when I don't say a thing. 
and I guess a lot of folk don't like that.

Whenever I walk outside and enter the hypersensetive world I feel like my life 
is being lived by someone in my skin.Not that anyone really cares enough about any consciousness ,but their own to notice theres something stilted and trodden about my manner.....we're all in our own strawberry field with vines and lush green so high we're oblivious to the smallest ladybird or kestrel that wishes to call it their home as well.

The incessant silence never ceases its gentle hum.

you who life seems to have broken so unkindly question my form of survival...I'm not as strong or as powerful as you wish I could be for you.

I was born broke

circuits that were'nt slowly wearing away and a brain to be be proud of....

I'm no robot.that would be a blessing.

Invisible...

Invisible disability...a tick in a box.a glance again....mad,ill or both?a grin....Just a bit different...i'm happy to be...really I am...

Normal....No.I can just act....I'm getting so much better at scaring you and myself.

...and before It was me,myself & I...three is a group....four is a band.

This cloud hangs over us both and drenches us.shivering and pale.patchwork hands against a pierrot hidden face that stares out blank like a child's doll.

A constant.

Felt and velvet is all I can feel...and the texture overwhelms like the one indistinguishable emotion I have ever experienced...

The ghastly thing is I could do anything and not really care.I swing on my choice and never feel any form of emotion....Just primal animal hunger....nothing more....In you I saw a master...an accomplice..Just a lovely one to call friend...but the pain....of emotion.It will kill me like a school tie never could....i wish I could be your orpheus and take away the pain ,but I would surely be a fool...and glance ...and ruin.

I will be judged very harshly and know I will deserve it.

When the numbness grips my senses I am touched....more than any boy could ever hope to.The smile,my crypt once more to hide and be ashamed in peace from scrutinising helpful faces.

I was formed from chaos and it is all I will ever know...a mistake in genetic has left me in your eyes as someone pathetic.Nothing can break or kill what has never been alive.I know that now and it consoles me like I know I can never ask of you.

So I will live in the knowledge that I'm going somewhere dreadful too slow to stop myself.

I will still be there to hold your hand as to me that gesture means so much more than anyone could ever guess.That touch is as intimate as I fear I'll ever get with anyone ,but if that is to be it is to be....I'll be happy with how the fates decided one single small sensation.

,but I will dream and kick and panic and choke and still go back into that encompassing night.

Reviews

[Alicante lullaby]

I'm getting so much better at scaring you and myself...
you work sets eddy currents in one...shivering.

[cest la vie]

Gorgeous piece of writing..
really spectacular.. I adore pieces that touch me in those unseen spots. this piece did just that.
(love the pic from "Brighstar" as well)

[Stephen Churchill]

love the style in this piece.

[Dreadnought Oblivion]

interesting style, and a fantastic view of society