Blue Roses...

 For once I must venture

out like the fragile glass that only shines at certain angles

A glass menagerie

and I don't want to break and cut you

when you try to catch my shards

I think you're the one for me

I'm just not right for myself

If you're willing to have me then you can

If not I can understand

I will understand            

an inferiority complex keeps me grounded and meek

I go through the motions

each day,

each week

never going to change unless I fall off the shelf

after all

diamonds are just coal really.        

my chest cannot take the pressure of a smile

It might take less muscles but It is a strain to me..

Gradually then suddenly  I will be alone again

So don't leave unless with me

don't leave by yourself.

Touch....

Air.                                                    

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Arthur Crow]

This is a beautiful spill from the soul.. I was entranced all the way by the endearing emotion in your words. Very well put together and expressed.

[Pax Analog]

Exquisite confessional.

"I think you're the one for me/I'm just not right for myself."

The juxtaposition of shards of glass cutting with the "Blue Roses. . ." title is deeply affecting.

Fine work!

[Last Lying Look]

This is a magnificent piece.
I'd have to say my favorite parts are:
"A glass menagerie
and I don't want to break and cut you"
and
"diamonds are just coal really."
This is an excellent poem.
I love it. :)
-E.M.R

[Michael Handel]

Beautiful, Beautiful, Beautiful. I never was much of an in-depth reviewer but this was really wonderful. Your flow and rhythm has been perfecting as of late. Good one, my Scot-friend.

[Wondering Mind]

Deep and very clever imagery with impressive imagery. A very well penned write with many phrases that stand out. Nicely done!

[Your Tasty Field Adviso..]

this poem is beautiful. i have many favorite poets and poems, but this is absolutely beautiful. this is going to go into my list of top favs. great poem. i absolutely love it.

[PianoandPage]

i think i have a new favorite writer.

i love this poem. a true gem. your way of describing yourself as glass / a diamond / "only coal" shows your talent for showcasing the multi-faceted sides of an excellent metaphor to give us insight, irony, and self perception.

"I think you're the one for me
I'm just not right for myself" - this is genius. this is so real. so honest. i relate to this on such a deep level.

and then following

"If you're willing to have me then you can
If not I can understand
I will understand" - this breaks my heart. again.... you capture extremely deep feelings with simple powerful sentiment.

*sigh* why can't more writers here write like this?!

[Creepy Swine Guy]

You have really taken the essence of Tennessee Williams' Laura Wingfield, and placed it into the heart of the subject of this poem. I feel the same fear and insecurity that I felt when I first read the play and my heart tears, it cries out for her.

This is a spectacular poetic reflection from the play that could be about anyone. It could even be autobiographical.

[run vs remember]

This is basically mindblowing. Your words fit together amazingly.

"I think you're the one for me
I'm just not right for myself"
This is so simple, but it's so great. I know what you're talking about.

"never going to change unless I fall off the shelf"
Wow. Great, great job.

[Emily Rose]

This is wonderful. The imagery is well-developed and it sounds (to me at least) very Plathian (although that might just be the influence of your penname). You make some very astute, poetic observations (I especially like your idea of diamonds being coal first) and you use your words very well. You also really get into the head of the average inferior-feeling girl; I know exactly what you mean. Well done!