Kestrel for a knave.

Lights are coming here in escape from the factories across the town

an ageing teenagers feet are in my face and I feel the covers drown

alcohol lingers on my future lips in futile attempts to avoid

a house with nothing for anyone ,where hope is just destroyed

School has grown sick of molding me into cement..

They'll use me for the buildings and watch as I descend

Benefits and a bookies and a pub of course as well,

These are my  last desires and these are my hell

 

 

master gives me another scalp and in P.E in the shower,

I watch as the bruise  deepens and mingles with the  hour

Mother does'nt ask much anymore anyway

My brother has already left and she fell apart that day

 

She was so beautiful  that I can't use verbs or nouns

kes was something else ; the only one who found

when we frolicked in the hills I felt as if I mattered

coming home one evening I saw my life in tatters...

Kes lay among the scraps and dirt with her wings wet and sodden

I went and said goodbye to her ,whilst she flew.. I could only keep walking.

 

Reviews

[Ravenskald]

This seems to hark back to Kestral for a Knave , Barry Hines . Is it based on this at all. Love both the film and the book. This is nicely phrased
"School has grown sick of molding me into cement..
They'll use me for the buildings and watch as I descend
Benefits and a bookies and a pub of course as well,
These are my last desires and these are my hell"

Is a nice catalogue of the descent, seeking to escape the intolerable mundane, through drink, gambling ....
A social realist poem, no glamour and I have to admit I like it :)

[Raef C. Boylan]

This has reminded me to read the book; the film, of course, is a 'classic'.
What a great summary of the synopsis; the bleak non-future, lack of expectations and care...and Casper probably did end up a serious drinker, nobody in a pub. I wonder if he would still think about Kes.

"the only one who found" - this was the only part of the poem that jarred for me, as I wasn't sure what it was supposed to mean & it reads like it as only inserted to fit into the rhyme scheme. Other than that, you've done an excellent job with the rhyming couplets.

Nice work, and cheers to Emily Burns for sending me a read request.

p.s.
"Mother does'nt ask much anymore anyway" [doesn't]
"master gives me another scalp" [should it be an uppercase 'M'?]

[Emily B]

I'm very much impressed with the depth of your writing. A little polishing would go a long way with this! Thanks much for stopping by today.

[Anima Inspired]

There are some amazing lines and images in this piece...I felt a definite sense of emotional turmoil as I read. A few slight grammatical and punctuation problems, but overall, very nicely written, and very poignant in its depth.

[Rachel DeHart]

Wow.
As always you catch me off guard with your beautiful phrases.

I really enjoyed this.

[astronaut]

i admit i'm not a fan of poetry, but 'kestrel for a knave' was lovely despite a few gramatical errors

this line is beautiful: 'an ageing teenager's feet are in my face and I feel the covers drown'