To: Me (Revised)

Rain falls on the ocean,

As fish climb up the sky.

In the distance, mountains

Made of bees and butterflies.

I swim towards the shallows,

My legs against the tides.

I dream of sun tomorrow,

Sand scraping on my thighs.

Escape this world of nonsense,

I retreat into my skull.

Fill my lungs with longing,

For a new day, quite enthralled

Reviews

[AYVID N]

Such beautiful imagery here of mountains made of bees and butterflies. There is much hope for a brand new day in your words and a longing for new beginnings. I also thought of those who cringe at the thought of yet another day and in contrast the author of the poem felt so blessed. Great poem.

[Chris Shaw]

An escape route and you took me with you. Lovely imagery here. Nice poem.

Chris

[jessicawrites]

Thank you for reading, Chris! :)

[Vertigo Cat1111]

Woah, the imagery in this is vivid and absolutely gorgeous. I can’t explain how this reminds me so much of childhood dreams. And I can’t begin to explain how fascinated I am by this work. Every line is just so lovely and inspiring. I almost feel like each stanza could even work on its own as a poem, but it’s still better all together. Thank you so much for sharing this piece, I truly adored it.

[jessicawrites]

Ahh, you made my day! I haven't written in a year or so until this piece, but your review inspires me to write more. Thank you so much!

[Vertigo Cat1111]

It’s my pleasure! And please do keep writing, I absolutely loved this piece.

[John the Baptist]

This one has the sound of a dream. The images arise and change, much as the scenes in a dream do. It may be more like a daydream, though, where the speaker goes within to get away from unpleasant realities. With the state of the world today, such is understandable.

[jessicawrites]

I'm glad that the message came through :). Thank you for reading! ♥️

[Tricessimus]

You managed to tease the imagery in a way that completes a vivid picture. You didn't use a single word about color but I conjured a very colorful picture. I was in a skittles commercial up until the last lines where we enter the narrators head and get to long enthralled for the new day, Good piece.

[jessicawrites]

Thank you so much! :)