Final Words of Hope

You never realize what you have until its gone. The day it’s gone everything changes. You begin to imagine a life that could have been. A life that should have been. But the darkness consumed by reality hits you in the face, when you realize it’s too late. Too late to turn back time, too late to make her smile, too late to hold her in your arms, and too late to say goodbye. All you wanted was one last moment. A moment shared, to show her how much you cared. But, when she needed you the most you weren’t there. Those nights she cried, and was angry at the world. Those nights she thought she wasn’t strong enough to continue on. She needed you the most. She needed to feel that she wasn’t alone. But to her, she was alone. At the end of the day, when she got herself ready to go to bed. When she began to feel numb, and demolished by all the negative things thrown her way, she was alone. And you realize that now. Those moments she was feeling those ways, you could have been there. You could have made her believe she was special. Special to you, and special to herself. You begin to realize you were her last breath of hope. Hope that things will get better. And even if they didn’t, she wouldn’t have to face the complete darkness alone. You wish you had realized how little everything else mattered, and how much she actually mattered to you. You could have been that little spark of light, shining her way. Showing her that life isn’t as gloomy as it seems. Now, she’s gone. Sleeping peacefully, and no longer in pain. Pain that shouldn’t have been there in the first place. Pain that I wish could have gone away. She deserved happiness. She deserved to live a full long life filled with love. Instead she got a shortened life, tortured by all the negative things said about her. The sad part is, she believed all those things. She believed those negative things defined who she was. Fat, ugly, scary, bitchy, moody, manipulative, stupid, those are just a few that she was told. You wish you had listened. Listened to when she said she wasn’t okay, Listened, to when she cried out to you, or suddenly began to shut the world out and got lost in her mind. That scary mind, filled with hatred towards herself. Hatred that cost her such a beautiful life. But now it’s time to let her go, and keep her memory in your heart.