There are days...

There are days I wish your words would
Cut me like razors across the wrist
Bleed out the demons
That aren’t really there
There are days I wish
Every bone in my body would break
Just so I could feel pain
In its purest form and
There are days
I try to get hit by cars
After I look both ways across the street
So that the timing will be just right
To shatter
But not break me
There are days I wish
The scars would be deeper
That the tissue in my arm would never remember
How to heal
There are days I wish
You’d ask to see my gallery of artwork
Dripping in words, still wet to the touch
From the open heart surgery
I had just performed to create them.
There are days I wish I could leave
Without it hurting you
And
Days I wish tears
Froze to your cheeks
Before they ever fell any further
On those days
I stay
And listen to the hum of your heartbeat
On repeat
And remember how precious it is
To be in the midst of all the rainfall
And still see rays of sun
There are days
Where I count the hours
And there are days
Where I don’t.