swim

who

do you talk to

when you have something to say

but you don't want anyone to hear?

 

you post it on the internet

naturally

 

where no one knows you are you

and you can bear your soul

and no one may even notice it

 

I have a

problem

 

its

disgusting

and

stupid

and I

hate

hate

hate

it

but there it is.

 

I am

Bulemic

 

sometimes,

anyway

 

it's hard to write those words

 

it's hard to THINK those words

 

I wish I could say

was

because that means I beat the demons

and they're all behind me for

good

but I can't say that

 

because

 

I don't know if they'll be coming back

 

they've been away for a while

I've been keeping them at bay

but sometimes

it seems so easy

 

unless you know how it feels

that whoosh of relief

that

YES

you are the one in control for once

then you'll see this as a

revolting

problem

 

but for the rest of us

it's keeping ourselves

from drowning

 

we keep from drowning

but we're swimming out deeper

so sooner

or later

we lose

 

and we sink