Do you swim

delve into subconcious

Do you swim

through your subconscious

through the dim

with your heart

with intuition

back to the start?

Do you creep

within your dreams

while your asleep

one eye open

one eye deep?

Reviews

[Owen Aldin]

Love this. I cant swim, and my unconscious is just as scary!

[A hare off]

I'm afraid most of my dreams end up drowning, I guess they can't swim. I probably spend way too much time in my subconcious mind but isn't that what most poets do? But I don't mnd coming out every now and then to read your wonderful poetry. Really good Jesse.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i read ninth line as "while you're asleep"---

i think the intuition probably tells us to keep one eye open, just in case...as we swim in the subconscious there is a part of it that warns us to take careful strokes...

and unfortunately as we age, that darn intuition teaches us to be too careful...i miss my days of reckless abandon...

i really like what you have said here...and in a crisp, short style.

j.

[jesserose99]

reckless abandon...hey those days were pretty close to me there for awhile...I like to say they scared the pants off of me so hopefully intuition is here to stay...lol

[B]

What happens with all those thoughts floating
but to swim

love it

[jesserose99]

ahh you are too kind! Thank you Nirseen.

[andrew mitchell]

wow Jesserose I love this, how clever, profound and yet cute lol

[jesserose99]

Thank you mr Andrew...you are always uber sweet!

[LapseOfMind]

Oh man, great poem! Definitely gets the reader to think, at least, it did me. Thoroughly enjoyed this one, good job!

[jesserose99]

Thank you, I appreciate that. Ill stop by your neck of the woods too!

[SleeplessVolcano]

I guess those who successfully venture into the recesses of their minds tend to sink more than swim.....

Thank you for sharing this thought-provoking poem! :)

[jesserose99]

you know i think you have a point there...makes me actually think of revising the poem. i would like to think myself more of a sinker myself. i just swim my way out! lol :)

[alifeacoustic]

No, I can't swim. Maybe that is why I prefer sitting in the shallow end of my thoughts, with one foot lazily flicking through the water, as I try to summon a thought to come close enough to catch :)
And the dream part, phfft, best not open that Pandora's box of nightly mayhem.
Beautifully creative words :)

[jesserose99]

uh oh...dreams have been a weird place for me lately too, tell you true. yet, can't help but peek. Pandora and me are good ol friends.

[alifeacoustic]

Me too. She does have a habit of never stopping once she starts :)