Wow. I began reading this and thought of Jane, the free spirit, following her heart. Then I got blammed with the last line and thought, whaaat? Poor dead Jane. Maybe freedom has its price. And maybe thats the moral of this tale, if you are gonna walk free, remember to look where you are going.
Captivating write. Superb.
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Thank you for your kind review...and I don't know about that last line being confusing because she i.. read moreThank you for your kind review...and I don't know about that last line being confusing because she is a little crazy our Jane, she could be alive too and still be a Doe 'seeing rainbows' it's kind of left up to interpretation.
Very good poem. I found it to be very catchy from line to line and can almost see it being one of those oddly disturbing little poems children sometime use. It was very enjoyable to picture this all in my head, if a little dark.
Really enjoyed everything about this. I tend to like poems that rhyme well, like most people, and this did not disappoint. I also like that the ending is open to lots of different interpretation. In the end I am left most fascinated about the voices and shadows.
I really liked this . Jane living in her own world through a window ... down deep in the rabbit hole... what a great image your words project a chapter in never never land... or could easily be an unheard verse of "Sweet Jane"...
when you write something that excites the readers imagination you know you've done something extraordinary
bill
Fingertips walk so many keytops as we look through the windows sharing our and others' pain... ever notice how you CAN see tomorrow quite for real - in other places and still have to guess how your todays may be?
very rhythmic! now the last line says "window pain" is that on purpose? if it is then I think it is very fitting and if it isnt then I would like to say that you should leave it there.. lol just my opinion!
Posted 8 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
Thank you for your review..and yes, it was meant to be pain..good catch!
This poem is so enchanting. It feels like I am reading a children's poem and I can see in my mind's eye everything that Rainbow Jane is doing. Also, "Rainbow Jane sitting in her window pane" is very catchy and sets the tone for the rest of the poem. This poem reminds me of surrealism art and I really did enjoy it!
In the 2nd line of the third verse, is the word supposed to be 'there' or "their?"
a couple edits needed but wow...i like the point of view...limited omniscient into the head of one who does hear those voices and lives in a world just next door to ours...
I am a tarot reader and numerologist, who loves to write poetry. I also write songs and love to sing and play guitar. I love art too, so clearly I just have a passion for creativity. Also love my dog.. more..