It's a Small World

Our view on life has a tendency to change when our world is at war. This poem explores what it feels like to be in the middle of it all.

When the world is at war…

everything gets smaller.

Like everyone at the same time

sucks in their breath and stands up taller.

The Earth leans in with the air intake, and

suddenly, VERY distant neighbors are staring face to face.

The enemy sees the eyes but the ally feels the presence because

our shoulders start brushing as we all stand up straight

and our collective pride inflates the pain.

We’re side by side, line by line, and

though I like my personal space,

my friends make me feel safe and brave.

I can feel the spray from angry, accusing lips…

they can feel it too.

What happened to the ocean that used to separate

your problems from mine and my problems from yours, and

well, quite frankly, me from you?

Call me selfish, call me narrow-minded, but

I can’t think with our glaring issues and

your words caking mud under my marching shoes.

So, tonight when I sleep, I’ll turn off the news,

and when I wake, maybe we’ll all have a brand new,

Bigger. Broader. View.

Author's Note

Anything helpful and constructive is welcome.

Reviews

[Nina]

Absolutely love the bit about the enemy and the ally, and everyone sucking in their breath. I love the capitalizing/Italicized words that brings a clear tone... I can imagine all these allies and enemies together on one small boat (the earth) in eachother's faces

[Pencrafter]

I thought your poem was emotional and intelligent. The message that I got was how senseless war is. If people tried to see the bigger picture and understand differences in culture, and accept those differences, then wars could end. And someday that will happen. But for now there is too much ego, selfishness and greed for peace to happen. We do tend to collect together with those of like mind. I once demonstrated on the chalkboard, of one of my teachers, how all men are brothers. I drew a circle, a picture of the earth from space. You can't see national or ethnic boundaries, religious or language divisions. So, war is senseless. Good job on your write.

[...]

. yeah ... maybe ... society doesn't evolve as quickly as we want it to ... but it does ... that's a fact ... a great piece ... there's a lot of substance in your writing ... and your language is lovely ...

[Eagle Cruagh]

I would love to be helpful, but
if you did make a mistake it is part of
your personality and it simply colors
your writing, so I want it to be there.
If I thought something was missing from
your writing, then that is just missing from
my persception and that leaves you perfect.
I thought your poem to be beautiful , insightful
understanding of the human condition and
the kind of writing I would like to have done.
Therefore,
----- John

[khalid]

i really liked your idea about the world as a very small and narrow whatever much large we sometimes feel. maybe unfortunately we feel it is small when we dont need it to be small such as in wars as you mentioned, we find it very large when we wish it were small like if we miss somebody who is away from us. i have really liked your nice poem! great work...

[None]

Wow. This is really good. Really, really good. I wonder what would happen if you made the title "When the world is at war" which would make it the first line of the poem, and then add "it's a small world" at the end? It would add some irony to the last lines too. Small world, broader view...

This poem deals with war in a new way: basic bodily actions like breathing, touching shoulders, standing taller, etc. It makes it exactly what it is: a personal affair. It deals with the idea of perspective too, which is very clever, and a perfect application of reality in war. This poem, in my opinion, is up there with the great war poets.

Perfectly constructed. I really like how your lines flow. You did the harder thing to do and went with how the lines READ verses how they LOOKED, which somewhat plays into the whole theme: war is not about how it looks, but who it affects in the end.

Also, I love how the entire poem employs the extreme possibilities of the imagination. I can see how everyone grows taller, the sea is a puddle, everyone leans forward into each other faces, the smell of sweat from their enemies and deodorant from their friends filling the air... and then, just as your mind fudges the lines between reality and the dream world. You go to sleep. Awesome.

Reading it again: line 17 could be changed to "me from you" for clarity. Also, I wonder if you could bridge the idea of watching the news a little more. Up until that point, I think the speaker is in the military. Now, they are a civilian. Maybe make it a radio and make it "their voices"? I don't know. This idea is completely speculative.

Great read. Post more!