Locked Eyes

We lock eyes for a moment, a minute, a second

I turn away as you walk away

But you don’t even know my name

 

If only you knew what I felt about you

The feelings I get when I see your face

How my heart starts to pump at the sound of your name

That when you speak I go insane

But you don’t even know my name

 

If we spoke for a moment I would have so much to say

But it would be so hard to let my words run on

What would you think?

What would you answer?

You don’t even know my name

So I keep on walking

And you go your way

 

We’re both so afraid to say what we feel to one another

So afraid

But if only you knew my name

Knew to match it with my face

How my eyes glue on to yours whenever they can

How your presence is like electromagnetic waves

They echo on, just like you in my heart

You are stuck on

Can I get you off?

You don’t even know my name

 

And I wish it was easy to say

To let you know

To shoot that arrow directly to your heart

But it’s like we’re a thousand miles away

In a place where we pass each other every day

Touch shoulder to shoulder

Where I carry notebooks while you carry my heart

If only I told you my name

 

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

The block write is fine. Don't sweat it. But if you want to make it really have some PUNCH, shorten the sentences and strengthen the structure. An example: "We're both so afraid to let each other know what we have to say" Instead of THAT, how about, " So afraid to say what we feel to one another" See? If you shorten and strengthen, you can build a better mouse and man trap. lol

[TeenRomance]

That was an extremely romantic and wonderful poem! I really love it. Reminds me of a huge crush I had.

[Obed]

Do you still feel like this?

[D. Pesek]

I feel as if some stanzas are too long and it is affecting the flow of the poem. Other than that, it was a good poem, I could tell alot of emotion was put into it.

[Havatara]

It was a good poem and I liked the emotions it showed, but it would have been neater and a bit easier to read if you had seperated it into stanzas, like maybe after to "you don't even know my name"s. Other than that, I loved the poem!! Great job.