Probably Not

Looking back at it all, 

would I do it again?

Would I risk it all

for a night on his bed?

Would I lose my faith, 

and would I lose my grace?

Would I choose to let go 

and start a life without him?

Would I leave him behind?

Would I not forgive?

Would I still hate him 

for messing around with our mutual friend?

Would I never erase 

how he touched her and kissed her?

Would I forget how he

was with her longer than he said?

Would I tell him 

I knew it was more than just once?

Would I tell him

I knew it was months that they spoke?

  

Would I tell him?

Would I have not run 

back into his arms?

Would I have not said "it's ok"?

Would I be wed?

Would I have said "I do"?

Would I put up with this torment

that always taunts me inside?

Would I be living this way?

Would I feel more self worth?

Would I not be unhappy?

Would I be happy?

Probably, but there's no 

way of knowing anymore.