Deepest Crime

Deepest Crime

A Poem by Jaybee23

Deepest Crime

Stories and dreams, tales of fate,

Hoping, just wishing, it isn't too late...


Stuck in reverse, a daunting curse.

Our history, now mystery.


Songs of joy, cries of pain,

Things may never be the same.


The thrill of the chase, life's never-ending race.

But the deepest crime, being robbed of precious time.


Waiting, just waiting it through,

Until it's too...

© 2017 Jaybee23


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Featured Review

There's a remorseful energy to this... which is appropriate and I understand completely. Reminds me a little of a poem I read on Poetry.com entitled 'wait'. The last line particularly rings similar. If you haven't already, I recommend checking it out.

Well done.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This is sublime! This is profound! This is absolutely brilliant!! If I may, however, I would suggest some pruning in the penultimate stanza (for it's a tad too wordy for the musicality to flow smoothly), and write in "late", why not, as a new stanza (for the sake of the musicality, and ending in a straggler is perfectly fine...it adds some cool power to the piece as a whole). Other than that, this is golden!! Well done!

Posted 7 Years Ago


There's a remorseful energy to this... which is appropriate and I understand completely. Reminds me a little of a poem I read on Poetry.com entitled 'wait'. The last line particularly rings similar. If you haven't already, I recommend checking it out.

Well done.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on January 28, 2017
Last Updated on January 28, 2017

Author

Jaybee23
Jaybee23

LA



About
I'm a writer just starting off with a burning passion to make the world a better place. I believe I can do so by giving people something to read and escape to. I mostly write action and adventure, mos.. more..

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