Drowning Affect

In keeping up with the world we lose a bit of ourselves.

Drowning Affect

We were children once; playing a simple game of Marco Polo with ourselves. You were taking forever: so I jumped in. Even though it was too deep, we did not mind; we were only kids; we did not know any better. We played for what seemed like a lifetime. Our parents spoiled our fun as usual. While yelling at us:they told us to make new friends. We did. We won't let them change us. Having new friends was exhilarating... at first. Soon it became too heavy of a burden to withstand. There was the time that they egged us on to steal something from the toy store. We were caught and our parents ended up having to pay for it. That's nothing compared to the ultimate price we would have to pay. Growing up we find we are in constant competition with each other; buying things just to impress one another. we just wanted to fit in. The kids saw that we were playing alone one day; now they wanted to join. The pool is too small. Sometimes it feels like there isn't enough room to breathe. The others had a bigger and better pool. We used this pool instead. The pool we had was no longer good enough. (nothing seemed good enough.) We were just kids who wanted to play Marco Polo. We did not like them; they dragged us down to dark depths. The emotions they made us feel are comparable to a perpetual hurricane: one that zaps energy instead of generating it. With their constant hovering eyes and there opinions further clouding our perceptions of life. Once there was a time when life was teeming with excitement: now it seemed vapid and meaningless.(Is this what my life is?) Our whole life we would have to live a lie. Pretending to be friends just to survive.

We thought we had escaped the torment when we graduated high school and everyone moved away. This was not the case; new bullies rose where the others fell. We still have yet to find ourselves. It has been some time since we played Marco Polo.. We no longer go outside. The pool is empty now. Looking back, I sometimes wish I was still in that pool with you;wishing time would freeze. We were free.”The Others” invited us to the beach one fine, sunny, afternoon. I decided to go since I had not seen you since graduating. Everyone is drunk and groping each other: Adorning Gucci and Prada. It appears the only thing that changed is the game we were playing. The pool was now the ocean. As we are beginning to have second thoughts; we ask “What if we drown?” “It's cool if you drown. At least you win!!”screamed their leader triumphantly The idea catches on faster than a trendy hash-tag. Soon everyone is chanting “drowning is cool” in a droning manner .These are the first people to surface when things go awry. The first swarm -of people- jump in. (Who knew robots could swim?)It was our turn to dive in. We will be alright. We will be fine. we said a prayer before we submerged underwater. We find ourselves asking: do we really know these people? Do we know them well enough to risk our lives? Sure we may have grown up with them but people change but I am not sure if i know them well enough to risk my own life.”Jump!”, the obnoxious college kid commanded. Fearful of the group's opinion:we submerged immediately. Casting out there judgment from there expensive yacht; the others stare on...The most minuscule wave causes there ship to capsize. In a drunken frenzy: They all come toppling over like a house of cards. Their material possessions weighing them down. Deeper...Faster... They sink. Seconds underwater feel like hours. We decide that we don't want to play the game anymore.

Liberated. We resurface. Everyone is gone. Enthralled to be alive ;I hug you. The worst part is over. Casually; we paddle toward the overturned vessel. We will be fine: a rescue boat will find us; these are all thoughts floating through our mind. The boat starts to drift further and further. We almost make it back. You feel something tugging on you. A riptide began vacuuming you away from me... Like swimming on a treadmill. I watch you struggle to remain afloat. You are not even panicking. I clasp onto your hand; with the other latched on to the boat. I am losing you. I held onto you as long as physically possible. I regretfully let go of your hand:watching you slip away. Your body stiffened up and took on the shape of a magnificent sculpture. I looked in despair and agony as your masterpiece of a body ballooned to the bottom of the ocean; falling with the grace of a swan in mid-flight. Ominous. Tranquil. A feeling only achievable in life's most gruesome moments. My eyes catch your gaze in your last conscious moments. You smile at me. Your eyes light up as you shine on: illuminating the dismal abyss. Suddenly, like an electric candle being unplugged: the life-force had been drained from your very soul: extinguishing your flame. You belonged to the sea now... I looked back, for a split-second ;I swear you reanimated. Your face possessed a smile which conveyed the emotion of someone who had accepted life's harsh reality. The lack of oxygen must be causing me to hallucinate. I think you winked; almost as if signifying you knew some universal truth. It captured a certain mischievousness: child-like in nature. Comparable to a harlequin enthralled by nonsensical endeavors. A nefarious feeling possessed me... Alien in nature; it felt implanted into my cerebral cortex. I loathed your plummeting corpse. Knowing that you were free and I was not. (What have I become?)We were kids once; swimming in a pool with no worries in the world. Now we are drowning in the water. (What happened?) I wish it was all just a dream. Frantically, I scrambled to the surface. I swallow a gulp of water in sync with my final breath. You were calling out to me like mystical siren. Your enchanting voice whispered out to me in a melancholic tone that echoed of sadness; luring me in. You were telling me to stay. In disbelief, I turned around abruptly. I never looked back. the ocean was calm. Full of hysteria, I hopelessly stretched my arms out and succumb .The ocean is no longer visible. I see you standing over me in a reflection on the surface before I blackout. A hand pulls me out from the water. I opened my eyes and expect to see you; It was our parents. I looked back into the water. There you were floating. You looked so serene and majestic. You never looked so alive. Your expression held a smile; to which I smiled back. I waited for your eyes to re-ignite. No sparks flew. A familiar feeling engaged me as I watched you float by; you were free... We were just kids playing Marco polo; still searching for ourselves.