It Can Wait

Chapter 1

 

            “Kelly, wake up!” my sister Diana yelled.

            I opened my eyes and saw sunlight streaming in through the windows. I looked at my phone and saw that it was late. I needed to be leaving for school in a few minutes.

            “Why did my alarm not go off?” I asked as I jumped out of bed.

            “I do not know,” Diana replied.

            I looked at my phone again and saw that I had a bunch of text messages. I would have to look at them later.

            Suddenly, I knew why my alarm had not gone off on my phone. People had been texting me late into the night. I had finally turned my phone on silent.

            Why did I have to wake up late today? Today was a game day and as a cheerleader, I wanted to look my best.

            “Why did you not wake me up sooner?” I asked Diana.

            “Oh, I thought you would need some extra sleep. I know you were up late last night being popular.”

            Diana was mad. She had told me to go to bed at one point during the night. She was bothered by the light and sound of my cell phone.

            I quickly slipped into my cheerleading uniform and ran a brush through my hair. Then, I grabbed my phone and backpack and went out to my car. Diana would be catching a ride with one of her friends.

            My phone beeped. It was Christina, wondering where I was.

            I texted her back saying that I had overslept and was on my way.

            As I looked up from my phone, I heard a car horn and then saw that I was drifting into another lane. I tried to get my car back in my own lane but it was too late. The last thing I remembered was the sound of metal on metal and then everything went black.

 

Chapter 2

 

            With a groan, I opened my eyes. I was in the hospital.

            “How are you feeling, Kelly?” the doctor at the end of the bed asked.

            “I wish I was dead,” I answered. Everything hurt really badly. I could also tell that something was seriously wrong. I just could not figure out what it was.

            “You are very lucky you did not die,” the doctor said.

            “Where is my family? Do they know what happened?”

            “They were here for awhile but they decided to go home and get some rest. So you are stuck with me for awhile. I am Dr. Michaels.”

            “What is wrong with me?”

            “Well, your injuries are really very minor compared to what could have happened. And really, you probably should not have survived the accident.”

            “Just cut to the chase,” I said angrily. I had figured out what was wrong. “I cannot feel my legs.”

            “Well, you are paralyzed and will never be able to walk again,” Dr. Michaels said.

            “I knew it. I suppose I am going to be in the hospital for a long time.” I was upset by the news but I knew that I deserved everything that had happened.

            “You are going to be here for a very long time. And while you are here, you can think about the consequences of your actions.”

            “It is not like I will be driving again soon so I do not think we need to worry about that.”

            “How could you even think about texting and driving? Not only were you putting yourself at risk, but also every driver on the road.”

            “Was anyone else hurt?”

            “A college girl.”

            The news stunned me. Sure, I was devastated by my injuries but I knew that I had done them to myself. I deserved what happened. This other girl did not.

            “Is she ok?” I asked hesitantly. I was not sure I wanted to know.

            “She will be fine. She will not have any permanent injuries.”

            “Thank goodness.”

            “Kelly, please think about the consequences of your actions.”

            “Look, I am going to be reminded for the rest of my life. Please, do not make this any harder on me.”

            “I will give you some time to think about it.”

            I could not understand what the doctor’s problem was. Nobody had been killed because I had been texting and driving. And only I was going to have lasting problems.

 

Chapter 3

 

            “How are you feeling, Kelly?” my mom asked as she and my dad and sister walked into my room later that afternoon.

            How was I feeling? I was paralyzed and would never walk again but that was not even the worst part. I had hurt another person because of my actions.

            I shrugged and then winced in pain.

            “Anything we can do for you?” my mom asked.

            “Could you get me another phone?”

            Everyone stared at me.

            “How else am I going to stay in contact with my friends? By the time I get out of here, people will have forgotten about me. Since I cannot be a cheerleader, I am going to have to work to be popular.”

            “Kelly, you very well could have died because of your cell phone,” my mom said seriously. “You could also have killed someone. The doctors say you were very lucky to only have the injuries you have.”

            “What does that have to do with me getting a new phone?” I asked impatiently.

            “I am getting to that. Your dad and I think you should use this time in the hospital to focus on getting well and to think about your actions.”

            “Not you too!” I protested. “The doctor says I need to think about what I have done. But I have news for you. My days of texting and driving are over. My cell phone is not dangerous to anyone. Besides, I need to stay in contact with my friends.”

            “If they are really your friends, they will come to see you.”

            “But they are busy. My friends have cheerleading and sports.”

            “Maybe you can use this time to see how the unpopular live,” Diana said.

            “Shut up, Diana!”

            “Kelly, please be nice to your sister,” my dad said. “This is going to be a tough time for you. I hope you will learn from this.”

            “I have already learned not to use my cell phone while driving. Now, would you please leave me alone?”

            “We will talk to you later, Kelly,” my mom said.

            After my family was gone, I burst into tears. I really was not sure what I was feeling. I was angry at myself for texting and driving. I was relieved that I had not seriously hurt anyone. I was mad at everyone for reminding me of my actions. I already felt guilty. I did not need to be reminded. It only made it worse. If only I could erase the past.

 

Chapter 4

 

            The thing about being in the hospital is you are never left alone. Doctors were constantly coming into my room to check on me.

            “How are you doing, Kelly?” a young female doctor asked as she entered the room.

            “Well, I was feeling a little lonely,” I said sarcastically. “I was just waiting for another doctor to come bother me.”

            “I am Dr. Callahan,” she said. “I am not like all the rest of your doctors. I am a psychiatrist.”

            “I am not crazy!”

            “I never said you were. I just thought that since you have been through a lot, you might want to talk about it.”

            “What is there to talk about? Or are you here just to lecture me about texting and driving?”

            “I take it you have been getting that lecture a lot. How does it make you feel?”

            “It really upsets me. What I did was wrong. I do not need to be reminded though. I am going to be reminded of the accident for the rest of my life. I feel like I deserve to be paralyzed.”

            “Are you upset about your injuries?”

            “Of course I am. I could have learned this lesson a different way though. God did not need to be so cruel.”

            “Are you a Christian?”

            I believed in God but that was as far as it went. I really did not want to have a relationship with God. God was supposedly loving, but He let people starve and get hurt in bad accidents. I told all this to Dr. Callahan.

            “God saved both you and the other girl in the accident,” Dr. Callahan said.

            “You do have a point, but I am still paralyzed. Now, if God cures me, than I might consider worshiping Him.”

            “Is anything else bothering you?”

            “I am really sorry for the accident. I really wish I could change the past. I just do not understand why my parents will not let me have another cell phone. It is not like I am going to text and drive again.”

            “Why is your cell phone so important to you?”

            “I am a cheerleader,” I said. “Or, correction, I used to be a cheerleader.” Tears started falling down my cheeks as I thought about what I would no longer be able to do.

            “So what does your cell phone have to do with being a cheerleader?”

            “I was really popular because I was a cheerleader. But now, I am afraid that I will become a nobody.”

            “Is there anything else you are good at? Anything new you want to try when you get out of the hospital?”

            “Cheerleading was everything to me. Now, I have nothing.” I cried even harder.

            “Kelly, you have been through a lot lately. I know things are tough right now but everything will be all right. Maybe not today, but someday.”

            “I will try to keep that in mind,” I said sarcastically.

 

Chapter 5

 

            I was bored. The days were starting to run together. Besides the constant flow of doctors in and out of my room, the only entertainment I had was TV or the homework my mom brought me everyday.

            One day, a girl a few years older than me entered my room in a wheelchair. One of her legs was in a cast.

            “I think you have the wrong room,” I called from my bed.

            “Are you Kelly?” she asked.

            “Yes. Can I help you with something?”

            I really wanted this girl to leave. Her wheelchair was a horrible reminder of what my future was going to be like.

            “I am Trinity,” she said. “I am the girl that was in the other car.”

            I really did not want Trinity in my room. While I would be forever sorry for what I did, I did not ever want to meet her. And since the doctors had told me she had not been badly hurt, I figured she had already left the hospital and I would never have to meet her.

            “Now is not really a good time,” I lied.

            “If there is one thing you have too much of at the hospital, it is time,” Trinity said.

            “I am really, really sorry for what I did,” I said, hoping that once I apologized, she would leave. “I know my apology will never be enough. I know you will probably never forgive me but that is ok because I do not deserve it. Still, I am very, very sorry.”

            “Kelly, you can relax. I forgive you.”

            “But why?” If I was her, I would hold a grudge for the rest of my life.

            “I am a sinner, just like every other person on this earth. Jesus was perfect though. God sent His Son to live a perfect life. Jesus died on the cross for all sins. Not one of us deserves this forgiveness but whoever accepts this forgiveness and surrenders their life to Jesus will one day spend eternity in Heaven.”

            I really did not want to hear about religion from Trinity but I knew I could not ask her to leave. I was the reason she was here in the first place.

            “I thank you for forgiving me. But I really do not understand why you are not mad at me.”

            “God forgave me even though I did not deserve it. God expects me to do the same to others.”

            “Thanks.”

            “Kelly, the doctors have told me that you are really sorry for what you did. I came here to tell you that I have forgiven you so that you will no longer have this horrible guilt on your mind.”

            “I am still going to have this horrible guilt no matter what.”

            “I will pray to God and ask Him to help you forgive yourself.” Trinity patted my arm and that is when I noticed some horrible scars on her arm. I knew they could not be from the accident because they would not have healed that fast.

            “Where did you get those scars?” I asked.

            “I did them.”

            “Why?”

            “I am depressed. It helped me to deal with the pain.”

            “I am sorry.”

            “It is ok. God is working through my depression. I am studying to be a therapist at college.”

            “How can you not be angry at God for your depression? For the accident?”

            “How can you be angry at God? He has given us forgiveness and eternal life. What is there to be mad about?”

            “I guess you and I do not see things the same,” I said.

            Dr. Michaels entered the room.

            “I will see you later, Kelly,” Trinity said. “We have a lot to talk about.”

            “She is a very nice girl,” Dr. Michaels said.

            “Yeah. She told me she forgave me.”

            “That is really nice of her. You really do not deserve it.”

            “Thanks for reminding me,” I said sarcastically.

 

Chapter 6

 

            Surprisingly, I was looking forward to seeing Trinity again. But instead, my friend Christina visited me the next morning.

            “Kelly!” she cried as she entered the room.

            “Hi,” I said. I was not exactly pleased to see her. I had been in the hospital for several days and no one from school had come to see me.

            “How are you doing?” She took a seat in the chair next to my bed.

            “I have been better,” I said. I was actually feeling much better.

            “We were devastated when they announced at school that you had been in an accident. We had no idea what we were going to do about the game. The cheerleaders and I had to make some changes but the game was a success.”

            “I am glad you could make it work,” I said sarcastically. It seemed like Christina was not really concerned about me.

            “Ever since the accident, we have had a couple assemblies about distracted driving and drunk driving. It has been nice getting out of class.”

            “But are you taking the assemblies seriously? Have you stopped texting while driving? And I know you have driven drunk before.”

            “Kelly, relax. I am not that bad of a driver. I am also good at doing two things at once.”

            I could not believe it. Christina was supposed to be my best friend but she did not seem to care that I had nearly died from my cell phone.

            “You know, you should really get a new cell phone,” Christina said. “Then, I could text you in class and I will not be bored.”

            “My parents say that I do not need a new phone. They think that I should use this time to think about what I did.”

            “Wow, I would die without my phone. I do not know how you have made it this long.”

            “I nearly died because of my phone. I also nearly killed someone else. That is what those school assemblies are about. They want you to realize that you are putting yourself and others at risk when you are driving with distractions.”

            “Just chill out, Kelly! Ever since the accident, you sound like the speakers that have come to school.”

            “How many times is it going to take before you actually listen?”

            “Kelly, I came to see you today to be nice. I know you cannot be a cheerleader anymore and that is going to change our friendship but I was trying to be nice.”

            “You were not,” I said. “You are getting out of class to see me. What test are you missing? Spanish?”

            Based on the expression on Christina’s face, I knew I was right.

            “If that is how you are going to treat your visitors, than I am not going to come see you again!” Christina stalked angrily out of the rom.

            “Are you all right?” Dr. Michaels asked.

            “I guess she was not a true friend,” I said. “But still, it hurts.”

            “The truth hurts.”

            “Yeah.”

            “So do cell phones,” Dr. Michaels said.

            “Are you going to remind me of my mistake at every opportunity? Because I learned my lesson.”

            “But your friend has yet to learn it.”

            “She is not my friend.”

            “She still needs to learn.”

            “Then why not tell her yourself!”

 

Chapter 7

 

            “Are you all right?” Trinity asked when she entered the room later that day.

            I was still angry at the whole situation with Christina. I told Trinity everything that had happened.

            “Life is definitely tough,” Trinity said when I had finished.

            “If you feel that way, than why are you not mad at God?” I asked. I still could not understand how Trinity could have a relationship with God.           

            “Maybe I should tell my story from the beginning. Please be open minded though and listen to everything I have to say.”

            “Since you forgave me even though I did not deserve it, I will do anything you say.”

            “I found out that I had depression when I was in high school. My family was very supportive but my friends were not. People with depression often become withdrawn so most of my friends left. The few that remained quickly abandoned me after learning about my diagnosis.

            “Once I got to college, I could not take it anymore. I was done with life. I took a whole bunch of pills.”         

            “But you lived.” I could not see where this story was going.

            “My roommate found me and called for help. I was sent to the psychiatric hospital and it was there that I met a girl my age who told me about God. She asked me if I had died because of my suicide attempt, did I know where I would go. She also told me that God had saved me for a reason.

            “After I got released, my family wanted nothing to do with me. I felt so low that I was led to go to church and just find someone that could explain life. I talked to some Christians who prayed with me. I decided to accept the forgiveness given for all sins through the death of God’s Son, Jesus Christ. I decided to live my life for Him. I had no idea how He could use me despite my depression but I just had to trust Him.”

            “So how is God using you despite depression?”

            “I lead a depression support group on campus. The group has a Christian emphasis. I have also spoken several times on campus and in church about my struggles and how God plays into them.”

            “Wow. I had no idea God could work through depression.”

            “Kelly, I am going to ask you the same question I was asked at the psychiatric hospital. If you had died in the accident, do you know where you would be spending eternity?”

            “I always thought good people went to Heaven, but after everything you have said, I am guessing I have some misconceptions.”

            “All you have to do is accept Jesus’ forgiveness and surrender your life to Him.”

            “Are you sure texting and driving is not a really bad sin?”

            “All sins are equal in God’s eyes.”

            “Then why will Dr. Michaels not let me forget about my mistake?” I was tired of his constant reminders.

            “Dr. Michaels’s daughter went to my college. She died last year as a result from using her cell phone while driving.”

            “So he is angry that I did the same thing and lived?”

            “Probably.”

            Dr. Michaels entered the room and we immediately stopped talking.

            “Please think about bringing Jesus into your life,” Trinity said before she left.

 

Chapter 8

 

            “I had no idea how God could use me…” “I just had to trust Him…” “If you had died in the accident, do you know where you would be spending eternity?...” “All you have to do is accept Jesus’ forgiveness and surrender your life to Him...” “Please think about bringing Jesus into your life.”

            I could not get Trinity’s words out of my head. I just wanted to go to sleep, but instead, I could not stop thinking about God.

            I could not understand why God would choose to save me. What did I have to offer? The only thing I was good at was cheerleading. And that was definitely out of the question now.

            Of course, Trinity did not have anything special to offer at first. She decided to trust God first and then later, she found that she could use her depression for Him.

            I still found it shocking that God could work through a mental illness. Did that mean God decided to give her depression on purpose?

            Did that mean my accident happened for a reason? The only good that came from the accident was that God saved me. Nothing else positive had come from it except that I am no longer going to text and drive. Of course, it is still early. More could develop. I just needed to trust God.

            “Are you ok?” the nurse who was in my room checking on me asked. “Why are you still awake?”

            “I need to see Trinity!” I said.

            “Kelly, it is midnight. She is asleep, just like you should be.”

            “But it is important! I need to see her immediately. Please, let me get out of bed.”

            “What is so important that you cannot wait until morning?”

            “I am ready to surrender my life to Jesus.”

            “Than what are you waiting for? Pray!”

            “Lord,” I prayed out loud, “I am ready to accept Your forgiveness. I know I do not deserve it though and I am sorry for all the mistakes I have made. I am sorry for texting and driving and I thank You for saving me. I do not know why You did but I know You must have big plans for me. I also thank You for Trinity and for her being forgiving and telling me all about You. Please heal her. Amen.”

            I looked up and saw tears in the nurse’s eyes.

            “Welcome to the family!” she said.

            “Can I please tell Trinity?” I begged.

            The nurse shook her head. “You can tell her in the morning. You need sleep yourself.”

            “But I am not going to be able to sleep after making the most important decision of my life.”

            “I know the feeling, Kelly. But you have got to try.”

            “Fine,” I said with a grumble.

 

Chapter 9

 

            The next morning, Trinity came to my room. This time, she was on crutches instead of using a wheelchair and she was wearing jeans and a t-shirt.

            “I am going home today,” she said. “But the nurse said you wanted to see me at midnight last night to tell me something really important.”

            “You cannot leave now! Not when I have just given my life to Jesus. I have a lot to learn from you.”

            “You gave your life to Jesus last night? Congratulations! I wish I could have been there for you.”  

            “The nurse prayed with me. She would not let me talk to you.”

            “Kelly, I may be leaving today, but I plan to come back to see you.”

            “Really? Why?”

            “Well, my intention was to give you company as well as help you find Jesus. But now, my intention is to help you grow in your faith.”

            “Yeah, because now that I have Jesus in my life, I have no idea what I am doing for Him.”

            “Well, I have some ideas for you. As soon as you get out of the hospital, I want you to come to my school to speak.”

            “What would I say to a bunch of college students?”

            “Oh, you have a lot to say. God saved you in a terrible accident with your cell phone. College students will listen.”

            “Maybe that is my calling. I can tell people about the dangers of cell phone use on the road while telling my story.”

            “I will be praying for you, Kelly.”

            “And I will be praying for you. I hope you can reach other people suffering from mental illness.”

            “We are sisters in Christ,” Trinity said.

 

Chapter 10

 

            The days got long. Only my family came to visit. I really missed Trinity but I knew I could not expect to see her everyday. She was busy with school. She did send me a Bible though and I used the time during the day when my family was at school and work to read it.

            One day, shortly after school had gotten out for the day, Diana came to my room. I was very surprised to see her. She had always come with my parents in the evening.

            “To what do I owe the pleasure?” I asked as I put my bookmark in my Bible.

            “Since when did you take an interest in religion?” she asked.

            “I am not the same person I was when I first got here. I now have Jesus.”

            “I will ask you about that in a minute. But first, there is something I have got to do.” Diana looked nervous. Something was clearly bothering her.

            “I want to apologize for what I did the day of the accident,” she said, tears streaming down her face.

            “And why not enlighten me? What did you do the day of the accident?” I could not see where this was going. I was very confused.

            “You stayed up late texting your friends. It really annoyed me. So when your alarm did not go off, I decided to let you sleep really late so that you would have to hurry not to be late for school. But after the accident, I felt responsible.”

            “Why would you be responsible for the accident? I am having trouble following you.”

            “Kelly, if I had woken you up at a decent time, maybe you would have had more time to check your phone before leaving for school. Then, you would not have done it on the road. You would not have met the other driver.”

            “Diana, the text message I was answering from Christina wondering where I was. Sure, I would not have been answering that message if I had gotten up early, but I could very well have been answering another. I always checked my phone on the road. An accident was bound to happen.”

            “But it happened because of me that day!” Diana protested.

            “You were not driving. You were not the one that checked the message. Besides, I feel God brought me here for a reason.”

            “And what would that be?”

            I told Diana everything that had happened with Trinity.

            “You have given me a lot to think about, Kelly,” Diana said at last.

            “I hope so. I will be praying that you will find Jesus before it is too late. You know, it was almost too late for me.”

            “Thanks, Kelly. I really feel better talking to you.”

            “Come back anytime.”

 

Chapter 11

 

            “I have something for you, Kelly,” Dr. Michaels said one day as he entered my room.

            “What is that? Another reminder of a stupid mistake I have made?”

            “You have got that right,” he said as he handed me a sticker.

            “Honk if you love Jesus. Text and drive if you want to meet Him,” I read.

            “Make sure you wear that every where you go,” Dr. Michaels said.

            “Dr. Michaels, if I had died in the accident, I would not be with Jesus right now. In order for a person to spend eternity in Heaven, they must accept the forgiveness given for all sins through the death of God’s Son, Jesus Christ. Then, they must surrender their life to Him.”

            “You sound like my daughter,” he muttered.

            “Trinity told me about your daughter, Dr. Michaels. I am sorry for your loss, but I wish you would stop taking out your feelings on me. It is too late for me to change the past. But God saved me for a reason. I can make a difference in the future. And I am ready to start with you. How would you like to know where you will spend eternity?”

            Dr. Michaels appeared to be thinking about what I had just said.

            “I am sorry, Kelly, for the way I have treated you ever since you arrived at the hospital. I guess I was angry that you survived and my daughter did not.”

            “But if your daughter was a Christian, than she is now spending eternity in Heaven. Would you like to spend eternity with her?”

            “Of course I do. But at the same time, I am very angry at God for taking my daughter.”

            “I was angry at God right after the accident. I will never walk again because of some stupid mistake I made. But then I talked to Trinity and then God helped me understand some things.

            “If I had not survived the accident, I would not be in Heaven right now. And if it were not for the accident, I would not have had the opportunity to meet Trinity and learn about Jesus. And because of the accident, after I get out of the hospital, I am planning on telling people my story. God sure works in mysterious ways.”

            “Maybe you do have a point,” Dr. Michaels agreed. “Give me some time to think about this.”

            “Do not wait too long. This decision could have serious consequences.”

            “I will talk to you in a few days.”

            “And in the meantime, I will be praying for you.”

 

Chapter 12

 

            A couple days later, Dr. Michaels and Diana both came to see me at the same time.

            “I have thought about it and I want Jesus in my life,” they said together.

            “Tell me what led to your decision,” I said. I was relieved that my prayers were being answered.

            “I still feel guilty about the accident even though you think I had nothing to do with it,” Diana began. “I thought about how you said God sent His Son to die for all sins and whoever accepts this forgiveness will spend eternity in Heaven. That is the only way to Heaven. I decided I am a sinner. I need forgiveness for all my sins. I prayed to God telling Him that I am sorry for all the mistakes I have made.”

            “God surely has big plans for you,” I said. Diana is a very talented singer.

            “Yes. I am excited to begin living my life for Him,” she said.

            “And what about you, Dr. Michaels?”

            “I thought about all you said as well and realized that you may have sinned when you texted while driving but that I also was a sinner for all those comments I made to you because of the accident. Nothing is going to bring my daughter back but I feel that God wants me to keep my daughter’s memory alive by telling people about the dangers of cell phone use and driving. And some day, I will spend eternity in Heaven with my daughter and Jesus.”

            “Lord,” I prayed out loud, “it is crazy, but I actually thank You for the accident. It is because of it that three people have come to You. I thank You for helping Dr. Michaels and Diana come to You today and I pray for them and ask that You help them live according to Your plans. Amen.”

            “Amen,” Dr. Michaels and Diana repeated.

            Suddenly, Trinity walked into the room.

            “Hey, guys, what is going on?” she asked.

            “You would never believe it,” I said. “Dr. Michaels and my sister, Diana, just surrendered their lives to Christ!”

            “That is great!” She hugged first Dr. Michaels and then Diana and then me.

            “It is weird,” I said, “but I actually thanked God for the accident.”

            Trinity smiled. “That is weird, but I did the same thing. But what is next for you?”

            “Well, it looks like Dr. Michaels and I have a cell phone campaign to go on,” I said. “We need to tell people that it can wait.”

            “Texting may wait, but Jesus cannot,” Trinity said.

            “That is true,” I said. “It was almost too late for me.”

 

Epilogue

 

            Finally, I was released from the hospital. And how did I celebrate my release? By going to church for the first time! Only this was not going to be an ordinary church service. I would be speaking this week and Dr. Michaels would be speaking next week.

            Diana had spread the news at school that I would be speaking at church today and she thought a lot of students would come out of curiosity.

            The church service began with music. Diana had joined the worship band several weeks ago so she was up front singing while the rest of the congregation sang along with her.

            After a couple songs, it was time for me to come forward. With an encouraging smile from Trinity, I took a deep breath and began telling my story from the beginning.