Your Average, Parlayzed, Homeless, Rock Star College Student

Jasmine is just your average, paralyzed, homeless, rock star college student. Life isn't easy, but she does have a lot to offer the world around her.

Prologue

 

            “You have mail!” Dr. Garcia said excitedly as I went into his office.

            I took the letter and opened it slowly. My future was inside this envelope.

            Dr. Garcia was watching me eagerly. I should be the one excited here though.

            “I got in,” I told Dr. Garcia after I had scanned the letter.

            “That’s great!” he said excitedly. “Why aren’t you more excited?”

            “I’m not sure if I really want to go.”

            “But, Jasmine, this is your chance to have a better life.”

            “I don’t think college is right for me. I was just kidding myself when I thought I could do this.”

            “Jasmine, how many jobs have you applied for since you got home?”

            “I have lost count.”

            “And how many job offers have you gotten?”

            “None.”

            “Is that really how you want the rest of your life to be? Do you really want to spend the rest of your life living on the streets?”

            “It’s not like I have any other choice. These are the cards I have been dealt. There are not a lot of options for homeless disabled orphans.”

            “But you have an option, Jasmine. You have a full ride scholarship to college. You have the chance to make something of yourself. This is an opportunity that many homeless people don’t get.”

            “But what if I don’t fit in?” I protested.

            “That hasn’t ever stopped you before.”

            “But this is different.”

            “Jasmine, I can’t tell you what to do, but if I were you, I would give some serious consideration in to taking this scholarship.”

            “Fine. But if I don’t like it than I am coming back home.”

            “Try to be positive,” Dr. Garcia said as I left the room.

 

Chapter 1

 

            I wheeled myself into the conference room and looked around. Groups of people were milling around talking to each other. Everyone turned to shoot a look at me but when they saw that I was staring right back they returned to their conversations. I was used to that at this point in my life though.

            I continued to look around the room. A screen at the front of the room showed a countdown. There was less than a minute left and people were starting to sit down.

            I parked myself in the side aisle of the back row and waited.

            I was honestly hoping to meet some friends here. I had heard good things about the Christians on campus. Supposedly they were pretty friendly and pretty much were friends with everyone.

            “Glad you all could make it to Campus Crusade for Christ,” someone at the front of the room said into a microphone and everyone quieted down. “Our mission is to put the Gospel in arm’s reach of everyone on campus.” The announcer continued on, talking about a joke he heard and then he called up the band.

            “Let’s pray,” one of the guys said. “Lord, I thank You for bringing everyone here tonight. Help us get this new school year started right. Be with our speakers tonight and please give them the words to speak. In Your Son’s Name, Amen.”

            Everyone stood up and the band started playing. I couldn’t see the screen anymore! There was no way that I was going to move any closer. I already felt extremely awkward.

            “Savior I come,” everyone sang, “quiet my soul.”

            I knew this song. I used to sing a lot of popular Christian songs with my band. I did not need to see the lyrics.

            “Remember,” I joined in.

            I had been sad when I had come to school and had to leave my band behind. But if they sang these songs every week at Cru, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.

            We sang a couple more familiar songs and then everyone sat down. A girl came up to the front.

            “Hi, I’m Hannah,” she said. “I want everyone who went on a summer mission trip to come up here and share a little about their experience.” Some people stood up and walked up to the front.

            “I’m Sara,” one of the girls began. “This summer I went on a mission trip to China. It was such an amazing experience and I grew so much in my faith. In China it is against the law to talk about religion. It was very difficult at times to talk to people, especially to those who couldn’t speak English. In the end though, we were able to lead three people to Christ.”

            There was polite applause for Sarah and then the next person began.

            Dylan then shared about his trip to Russia and Rose talked about her experience in Los Angeles. Finally, Matthew talked about his summer in Alaska.

            While everyone was talking, the people in the audience kept shooting me looks. I just ignored them though. I have been getting odd looks for years. I didn’t let them distract me from my thoughts.

            All these people were going on far away trips for God. They seemed to have gotten a lot from the experience and seemed to help a lot of people. These trips must have cost a fortune though. Didn’t they realize that there were people all around them who could use that money? Didn’t they realize that there were people right in their hometown who needed to hear the Gospel?

            It seemed like I accomplished the same thing that these people did this summer. The only difference was that my experience was free. I was honestly able to help people and feel really good about it. I knew I had made a difference in countless people’s lives.

            The person who had made the announcements at the beginning came back up and wrapped the evening up, taking me away from my thoughts. People started standing up and talking to the people around them. Once again, I was ignored except for the looks people kept shooting me.

            I pretended that I had not seen the stares and went back to my empty room. My roommate had gone out for the night so I had the place to myself. Tonight hadn’t been exactly the way I had been expecting. I had gone to Cru with the hopes of finally being accepted for the way I am. The people on the streets didn’t judge me. I was kind of expecting the same thing here since I was supposedly surrounded by Christians.

            Don’t get me wrong, I loved Cru. I loved the songs we sang and couldn’t wait to go back next week. I kind of felt like the people who spoke tonight might not look at things the same way I did. But maybe that was because the people lived differently than I did. There experiences were way different than mine. Nobody could really understand me because of that.

            Tears started flooding my eyes as I thought about how nobody understood me and how nobody would even talk to me.

            Maybe I didn’t belong here. Maybe school isn’t the right place for me. I am completely different from these people here. I came here to achieve my dreams, but so far, I have felt more degraded than I have in my entire life.

            I just needed to pray. That always makes me feel better.

            “Lord, I know you have plans for me and right now I am more confused than ever about what You want from me. I feel like I don’t belong here but I get the feeling that You brought me here for a reason. Reveal Your plans to me. Help me every step of the way. Amen.”

            I did feel better after I prayed. I decided that now would be a good time to go to bed. I brushed my teeth and than transferred myself from my wheelchair to my bed. I wrapped myself up in my thin worn blanket and waited to fall asleep.

            Today had been a rough day, but maybe tomorrow would be better. People were sure to get to know the real me soon and quit judging me based on what they saw. In the meantime, I would just try to adjust to college life and try to live according to the plans God has for me, whatever they might be.

            The words to one of the songs we sang earlier at Cru came to mind.

            “I am Yours,” I whispered before I closed my eyes.

 

Chapter 2

 

            My life wasn’t always like this. At one point, I had two loving parents and a sister. We all lived happily in our home in Chicago. I wasn’t your average teenager, but I wasn’t that different from everyone else.

            I was rebellious when I was a young teenager. I became involved in a band and performed in various clubs. I had a nose ring and belly button ring. I highlighted my hair with pink and blue streaks. I drank and did drugs.

            Then, one day, everything changed. I woke up one morning in the hospital to find that my parents were dead, my sister was in a coma, and that I was paralyzed and lucky to be alive after the vehicle we were in was struck by a drunk driver.

            This was only the beginning of it all. And things were about to get worse.

            I was in the hospital for several months. During that time, my sister died. I wasn’t even able to go to her funeral. The time was long and bleak. Then one day, a couple of Christian teens came in my room.

            At first I thought that I was dying. Why else would some Christians come to see me, especially since I had never given religion a thought before? It turned out that this group of teens went to visit people in the hospital just to cheer them up. It was because of them that I got to know Christ. I turned my life around right there in the hospital.

            After that, I was released from the hospital and sent to a rehab center because of my spinal injury. When I was finally released to go home, I found my faith tested. There was no money left for me. I had nowhere to go. I was a homeless orphan.

            I found life on the street difficult. It was definitely a test. I found myself angry at God. I was all alone. I was cold and hungry. I was struggling to make it to school. I was sick often but I had no money to see a doctor. I also couldn’t get a job because of my medical conditions and that frustrated me. There was no way out of this situation.

            Then one day, things changed. I met Alana. She was also a homeless teenager. After talking with her, I found out that she was a Christian interested in starting a band and sharing the Word with other homeless people.

            After that, my faith grew dramatically. Alana and I started a Christian rock band. She played an old guitar that she found and I sang. We performed in various churches and gave the donations we received directly to homeless mothers. Later, our band expanded to two guys, Chris, who played drums, and Anthony, who played guitar as well.

            Alana also introduced me to a doctor who ran a free clinic for the homeless once a month. It was because of Dr. Garcia that I am where I am now. Dr. Garcia took an interest in my life and made sure that I graduated high school. He also helped me apply for a full ride scholarship to a small college in Nebraska.

            At first, I never thought that I would get accepted, let alone win the scholarship. But when I did, I wasn’t sure if I should take it. But Dr. Garcia convinced me that if I ever wanted to get off the streets, then I needed to take advantage of this offer now, because it wouldn’t be around later when I was ready to leave the band. So I reluctantly left my band behind and made the trip to Wayne, Nebraska, a very small town.

            So far, my first week has been far from pleasant. I get a lot of stares. I am guessing that it is probably due to the combination of my wheelchair, nose ring, and pink and blue highlights. I could tell when my roommate first saw me that she wanted to run out of the room screaming. So far, she has just chosen to ignore me.

            It would be nice if I could meet some people. First, people need to look past my appearance, but I get the feeling that it might take awhile.

 

Chapter 3

 

            “You can work on this presentation with a partner or by yourself,” my science teacher told us at the end of the class. “We will be presenting at the end of next week.”

            Class was dismissed and everyone started discussing who they were working with.

            I looked around the classroom, hoping to find someone that did not have a partner that I could work with. I didn’t see anyone so I knew that I would just have to ask.

            “Want to be my partner?” I asked the girl who sat beside me.

            “I don’t think so,” she said with a look of scorn as she turned to talk to someone.

            “Want to work together?” I asked the girl behind me.

            “I’m already working with someone,” she said. I could tell the kindness was fake though.

            “Do you have a partner?” I asked the boy with braces.

            “Sorry,” he said as he walked off.

            “Want to work together?” I asked the girl beside me as we left the classroom.

            “Can’t,” she said as she shot a disgusted look at me and then walked off.

            Well, I had tried. And the reason people didn’t want to work with me is because of my hair.

            “I’m a Christian for goodness sakes!” I exclaimed as I got back my room.

            I was tired of being ignored. I was making the effort to be friendly, to try to make friends. It was everyone else that was very obviously not trying.

            I knew that I needed to calm down and go eat before my next class. I knew that wouldn’t exactly make me feel better because I would have to eat alone.

            I grabbed my science book so that I would have something to do while eating lunch alone and headed towards the cafeteria.

            When I arrived at the cafeteria, I found an empty table and put my science book down to save my spot. My biggest fear is that I will get to the cafeteria and the place will be packed. And who knows if anyone would let me join them.

            I grabbed a sandwich and then returned to my table. I wasn’t hungry though. I was still upset about the way people treated me in class.

            What I really needed was a good cry. Or what I really needed was to go back to Chicago. I am accepted there but not here. I wished I had a phone to call Dr. Garcia. I would tell him that I tried but college just wasn’t for me. I knew that quitting college would mean that I would have to live the rest of my life on the street but at least I knew what I was getting into.

            The only way I could talk to Dr. Garcia is if I wrote him a letter. I had no money for the stamp so hopefully he would pay for it if he saw my name on the envelope.

            Dr. Garcia,

            I have tried college and I don’t like it. I have tried making friends. I am friendly but everyone just looks at me with scorn. They don’t want me here. They aren’t like the homeless. They don’t want to help me. Dr. Garcia, please come get me. I want to spend the rest of my life on the streets, not here. Please come and get me as soon as you can.

            Jasmine

 

            I felt better after I wrote the letter. I would mail it that afternoon after I got done with class.

            In the meantime, I needed to get going. I had class in a few minutes and I hadn’t even touched my sandwich.

            I figured it was kind of pointless to go to class this afternoon since I was just going to be quitting but I didn’t have anything else to do so I might as well go to class.

            As I left the cafeteria, I could see some girls pointing in my direction and whispering. I tried not to let it bother me and left the cafeteria.

            I didn’t know if I would be able to focus in class, after the rotten day I was having, but it was worth a shot. I needed any distraction that I could get. As long as people in my history class didn’t decide to be mean directly to my face. Then I don’t think I would be able to stick around any longer.

 

 

 

Chapter 4

 

            “You have mail,” Serena, my roommate said early Friday afternoon. This was like the second time she had ever spoken to me and I could tell that she was not doing it voluntarily.

            “Thanks,” I said as I took the letter from her.

            Serena was looking at my old ragged outfit with disdain. I guess she had gotten over the wheelchair, nose ring, and highlights and now was ready to move on to something else.

            “Why are you wearing long sleeves in August?” she asked. I guess her curiosity was greater than her desire never to talk to me.

            “Uh,” I said as I thought about what to say. The reason I wear long sleeves all year round is because I am so badly scarred from the accident.

            “Never mind,” Serena replied. “I need to get going.”

            “Where are you going?” I asked, trying to get her to say even more to me. I was kind of enjoying having an actual conversation.

            She gave me a look that told me it wasn’t any of my business but she would tell me anyway. “A friend’s house. I will be back on Sunday.” She grabbed her backpack and headed out the door before I had the chance to say anything more.

            I looked at the letter in my hand. I hadn’t received a letter since before the accident, partly because I no longer had a home address.

            The return address was from a medical clinic. I had no idea why I would be getting this letter. I ripped it open to find out what they wanted.

           

            Dear Jasmine,

            My name is Dr. Howell and I am a physician at the medical clinic in Wayne. Your doctor, Dr. Garcia, has contacted me and let me know about your situation. I will gladly take you on as a patient if you choose so. Please make an appointment or stop by sometime so that we can talk.

            Thanks.

            Dr. Timothy Howell

 

            Dr. Garcia had told me before I left that he was going to try to find a doctor that would be willing to take on my case for free, since I didn’t have any money or insurance. He wasn’t sure if he would be able to find anyone though. Apparently he had though.

            I was free this afternoon since I didn’t have any classes or plans. I guess I could go see Dr. Howell.

            I pulled out my map of Wayne and found that the clinic was very close to campus. I would be able to get there myself without any problems.

            I grabbed my backpack and the letter and headed towards the clinic. It was a rather warm day and I was very tempted to roll up my sleeves. But than I remembered that everyone already thought I was a freak so there was no way that I would do anything that would reinforce their opinion.

            “Jasmine Yamamota to see Dr. Howell,” I said at the receptionist desk. I held out the letter.

            The woman took the letter and read it. “Please wait in the waiting area and fill this out,” she said as she handed me a medical form and the letter. “Dr. Howell will see you shortly.”

            I went over to the waiting area and quickly filled out the form. Then I pulled out my history book from my backpack. It was better than staring back at all the people who were staring at me.

            “Why’s that girl have blue hair?” a little girl asked.

            “Shh,” her mom whispered.

            I was rather used to this by now so I just absorbed myself in reading all about early civilizations.

            “Jasmine Yamamota,” a nurse called.

            I put my history book back in my backpack and went up to the nurse.

            She led me into an exam room and I had to wait even longer for Dr. Howell. I pulled out my history book to pass the time.

            After awhile, a young man wearing a white coat entered the room.

            “You must be Jasmine,” he said as he held out his hand. “I am Dr. Howell.”

            “I appreciate you doing this for me,” I replied.

            “No problem. I’m happy I could help you out.” He sat down and started reviewing my file.

            I sat awkwardly in my wheelchair as I waited for him to speak.

            “So, how have you been doing lately?”

            “Fine,” I said.

            “Anything I should know about?”

            “Not if Dr. Garcia has told you everything.”

            “Do you mind if I check you over?”

            “I guess not.”

            “I will just have you stay in your chair for today.” He got out his stethoscope and put it against my chest.

            “How are classes going?”

            “All right.”

            “Adjusting to college life ok?”

            “Yeah, I am the most popular kid on campus,” I said sarcastically.

            “It takes time to meet people,” he said as he wrote something down and then started taking my blood pressure.

            “But people keep on giving me odd looks.”

            “You are in a wheelchair. You have blue and pink hair. You are covered in scars. Surely you must be used to the stares.”

            “Yeah, but nobody is bothering to get to know the real me.”

            “Give it time, Jasmine. People will eventually look past your appearance and start looking at your heart.”

            “Yeah, but I am rather impatient.”

            Dr. Howell laughed and pulled up my sleeves and started looking at my scarred arms. “Just be yourself and you will meet people just like you.”

            “I’m going to meet other homeless paralyzed students?”

            “You will meet people with similar interests. Get involved in clubs. And I will see you in two weeks.”

            “Fine,” I grumbled. I guess that gave me something to look forward to in these next two long weeks.

            “Oh, and if you need anything, just let me know,” he said as he handed me his card.     

            “Thanks.”

Chapter 5

 

            “Good morning. Welcome to Journey Christian Church,” a guy said as he held the door open for me.

            “Good morning,” I said cheerfully as I took the bulletin from him. It had been awhile since I had been greeted instead of stared at and I rather enjoyed it.

            I looked around and saw the sanctuary to my left. I started heading towards it but people kept stopping to greet me.

            I finally made it into the sanctuary. This church was different than the one I went to in Chicago. This one didn’t have pews or hymnals. Instead, there were chairs and a big screen.

            I parked myself in the back of the room behind the last row of chairs that way I wouldn’t be in the way. I skimmed through my bulletin and saw that we were singing some great songs.

            “Good morning,” someone said as they approached me. “I’m Pastor Zach.” He held out his hand.

            “Jasmine,” I replied.

            “Are you a student?”

            “I am.”

            “And where are you from?”

            “Chicago.”

            “Really? What brought you to Wayne?”

            “Scholarship,” I replied.

            “Well, we are glad to have you here at Journey.”

            “Thank you,” I said before he moved on.

            A few minutes later some people came up front. One of them had a guitar and two others headed toward a drum set and piano and the last two picked up microphones.

            “We’re glad to have you here,” the one with the guitar said. He started playing and the lyrics to the song appeared on the screen.

            I knew that I was going to like it here. I was really starting to miss my band back at home. I’m glad I would have such an awesome place to worship though.

            “Holy is the Lamb who was slain. Holy, holy is He.” I sang along with the band.

            I lost myself in the music. It was all about singing to the Lord.

            We sang a total of four songs and then Pastor Zach came up front.

            “For the kingdom of heaven is as a man traveling into a far country, who called his own servants, and delivered to them his goods. And to one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one; to every man according to his ability; and then took his journey. Then he that had received the five talents went and traded with the same, and made another five talents. And likewise he that had received two, he also gained other two. But he that had received one went and dug in the earth, and hid his lord's money. After a long time the lord of those servants came, and reckons with them. And so he that had received five talents came and brought other five talents, saying, Lord, you delivered to me five talents: behold, I have gained beside them five talents more. His lord said to him, Well done, you good and faithful servant: you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things: enter into the joy of your lord. He also that had received two talents came and said, Lord, you delivered to me two talents: behold, I have gained two other talents besides them. His lord said to him, Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things: enter into the joy of your lord. Then he which had received the one talent came and said, Lord, I knew you that you are a hard man, reaping where you have not sown, and gathering where you have not strewed: And I was afraid, and went and hid your talent in the earth: see, there you have that is yours. His lord answered and said to him, You wicked and slothful servant, you knew that I reap where I sowed not, and gather where I have not strewed: You ought therefore to have put my money to the exchangers, and then at my coming I should have received my own with usury. Take therefore the talent from him, and give it to him which has ten talents. For to every one that has shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that has not shall be taken away even that which he has.  And cast you the unprofitable servant into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

            “You need to use your special gifts and abilities or you will lose them,” he said. “You need to use these gifts for God and you will be given more gifts in return. If you do not use what you were given, they will be given to someone who will use them.”

            So how was I supposed to use my ability for God? I could sing and I was using that for God when I was still part of my band in Chicago. But God clearly brought me here for some reason. I wouldn’t have gotten the scholarship if He didn’t have plans for me. So how could I use my ability and be here? I don’t think anyone is in need of a singer for their band. I am so confused right now!

            After Pastor Zach got done speaking we sang a couple more songs and did communion and than church was over.

            As I was leaving the church, I saw Dr. Howell with a woman I assumed was his wife.

            “Hi, Jasmine,” he said when he saw me.

            “Hello, Dr. Howell.”

            “Do you need a ride back to campus?”

            “I’m fine. It is a nice day.”

            “It’s no problem at all, Jasmine.”

            “All right.”

            “You sure came quite a ways,” he said on the way back to campus.

            “I heard good things about this church.”

            “That’s for certain. So what did you think about today’s church service?”

            “This is probably the first time I have felt welcome since I arrived at college.”

            “Journey has that affect on people,” Dr. Howell agreed. “Now what dorm do you live in?”
            “Neihardt.”

            He pulled up in front of the dorm and helped me out.

            “Thanks for the ride, Dr. Howell.”

            “No problem. I will see you later.”

           

Chapter 6

 

            I went back to my empty dorm room (empty as in no roommate and no possessions). I flipped on my roommate’s TV and started going through the channels. Absolutely nothing was catching my eye. What was I supposed to do this afternoon?

            “Amazing grace,” I sang, “how sweet the sound. That saved a wretch like me.”

            Just then Serena opened the door. What was I supposed to say? She probably thought I was a bigger freak than she originally thought.

            She stared at me for a moment before speaking. “You’re a Christian?” she asked in amazement.

            “Um, yes,” I replied, surprised that out of the million questions I imagined going through her head right now, this is the one she decided to ask.

            “You don’t look like a Christian,” she said as she came into the room and shut the door.

            “And how exactly is a Christian supposed to look?” I asked.

            “You know, like, not like you.” Her face flushed and I could tell that she was embarrassed to have said that.

            I just raised my eyebrows at her because I knew what she was saying and I really didn’t need to add anything to it.

            “It’s just; you look like a rocker, with your blue and pink hair and your nose ring. I guess that is not the image I see when I picture a Christian.” She was trying to explain and I knew she was having a hard time finding something to say that wouldn’t come out sounding mean.

            “There is no specific look for a Christian.”

            “I know that. I just never thought you looked like a Christian though. So if you don’t mind me asking, why do you choose to look like this? Surely other people besides me have been surprised that you are a Christian.”

            “I used to be part of a band before I came here. And I have never gotten as many odd looks until I came here.”

            “What kind of band?”

            “Christian.”

            “Did you sing?”

            “Yeah.”

            “You should really consider singing at Campus Crusade sometime. You are really good from what I can tell and if you have been part of a band before, than that makes you all the more qualified.”

            “I don’t know if I am exactly wanted at Cru.”

            “Of course you are. Cru welcomes everyone. They go out of their way to make someone feel welcome.”

            “That’s not how I felt last week.”

            “You were there? I didn’t see you.”

            “I don’t think anyone saw me. At least, that is the way I felt. I mean, people saw me, but only to stare at me.”

            “Do you think it is because of the way you look?”

            “Well, it would definitely explain the odd looks l get all the time.”

            “Why do you continue looking like this if you don’t like the stares?”

            The reason I first dyed my hair many years ago is because my mom did. My mom dressed just like I do now. And even though she wasn’t the greatest influence on me (she definitely wasn’t a Christian) I still feel like she is a part of me even though she is gone. Plus, the look has always fit for being a singer in a band.

            “I have my reasons,” I told Serena.

            “Maybe we have all been a little quick to judge. I’m sorry about that.”

            “Don’t worry about it.”

            “Look, I need to go. I ran up here to grab something and I got distracted when I heard you singing. I will talk to you later.”

            “Bye,” I said glumly. I was actually enjoying the conversation even though part of my secret identity had been revealed. I was pretty lonely.

            What was I supposed to do now? The afternoon was still open. There just wasn’t much to do on a weekend at a small college.

            I guess I could just take a nap. That would be something I could do and one could always use the extra sleep.

            I transferred myself from my wheelchair to my bare bed. I covered myself with the thin blanket and lay my head on the mattress and closed my eyes.

 

Chapter 7

 

            When I awoke, it was about five thirty. At church this morning there had been something mentioned about a college group. Dinner would be provided. It didn’t start until six thirty but the doors would be open at six so that people could hang out. Maybe I could actually meet some people.

            “Hi, I am Steven,” a young guy greeted me when I entered the church.

            “Jasmine.”

            “Where are you from?”

            “Chicago.”

            “Really? What brought you here to Nebraska?”

            “Scholarship.”

            “Well, I’m glad to have you with us tonight. Go ahead and go on in.” He turned to the next group of students coming in and I went to the room where he pointed.

            There were lots of round tables with chairs around them. The plates weren’t already set so that meant it would probably be buffet style. I was thankful for that because then nobody would feel horrible for not leaving an empty place for me without a regular chair.

            The first two tables were already full so I pulled over to an empty one and moved a chair over so that I could have a spot to park.

            I felt awkward sitting by myself. I guess I was starting to get used to it though. More people were coming into the room but they were all leaving me alone.

            “Mind if we sit here?” an older couple asked.

            I looked up in surprise. Why did they want to sit with me? They definitely were not college students.

            “Go ahead.”

            “We’re the Baxters.”

            “Jasmine.”

            “Is this your first time at college group?”

            “Yes.”

            “I thought so,” Mr. Baxter replied. “We enjoy making dinner for you college students.”

            “Do you do it every week?”

            “No, everyone in the church volunteers. But we just enjoy seeing the college students.”

            “All right!” Steven called out and everyone quieted down. “Welcome to college group. Tonight we are going to break in groups and talk about where God is leading us this year. But first, Emma is going to pray and then we are going to eat.”

            “Lord, I thank you for giving this opportunity to be together and just spend time with You. I thank You for the food we are about to eat and the hands that prepared it. Amen.”

            “All right, girls first,” Steven called out.

            I looked around me. All the girls were standing up and getting in line.

            “Do you need some help?” Mrs. Baxter asked kindly.

            “I’ll be fine,” I replied, slightly embarrassed. “I will just wait for the line to shorten before I try getting through.”

            “You can squeeze in here,” a girl told me as she stepped back.

            “Thanks.”

            “I’m Jordan.”

            “Jasmine.”

            “Are you a freshman this year?” she asked me as the line moved forward.

            “Yes, how about you?”

            “Sophomore. Do you need any help?” she asked as we approached the counter where a couple of people were serving food.

            I was too short to reach the counter. I couldn’t even tell what we were having. I nodded my head.

            “Here you go,” one of the ladies said as she handed me a plate of spaghetti.

            “Thank you.”

            “Is there room at your table for me?” Jordan asked.

            “I think so.”

            Finally! I was actually meeting some people!

            As we ate, Jordan told me a little about her weekend and occasionally would ask a few questions. I didn’t tell her anything about my life other than that I was from Chicago. I was enjoying the conversation though.

            “All right!” Steven called out after awhile. “We are going to break into groups now to discuss what God is laying on your heart for this year. Remember, what is said in your groups is only between you and the group. Now, you can go all over the church. Now, how about five people go with Brandon?”

            Brandon stood up and so did about five people and they left the room.

            “Five people go with Emily,” Steven said.

            “Let’s be in Emily’s group,” Jordan said.

            “We call the upstairs!” a guy said.

            “Um, Daniel,” Jordan called, “I don’t think our group can.”

            “Why no-?” Daniel asked as he turned around and saw me. “We will just go in the sanctuary,” he said.

            We went into the sanctuary and moved the chairs around so that we were sitting in a group.

            “Why don’t we go around the circle and introduce ourselves?” Emily suggested. “Jordan, do you want to start? Just say your name, year, and major.”

            “All right, I’m Jordan, I’m a sophomore, and I am majoring in elementary education.” Jordan looked at me next.

            “I’m Jasmine,” I said nervously. “I’m a freshman and I am majoring in human service counseling.”

            The rest of the group continued to introduce themselves and then we moved on to what God wanted from us.

            Jordan started talking about how God was leading her on a mission trip and while she was speaking, I thought about what I should talk about. What exactly was God laying on my heart? I had already come here. What did He want from me next?

            Everyone looked at me expectantly and I realized that Jordan had quit speaking.

            “What is God leading you to do this year?” Emily asked.

            “Um,” I said as I thought about what to say. “Well, God led me here and that was only a week ago. We haven’t moved on from that.”

            “How did God lead you here?” a girl asked.

            I thought about how I should answer this question. If I wasn’t careful, I could end up revealing more than I wanted to.

            “Well, I had no intentions to go to college. Then, I was told to apply for this scholarship. The scholarship was going to determine whether I was going to college. But then when I got it, I suddenly didn’t want to go. Someone talked me into going and I’m here because God gave me this scholarship.”

            “I bet He has some huge plans for you,” Jordan said.

 

Chapter 8

 

            After meeting people, it was kind of a disappointment to have to eat lunch the next day alone.

            I had gotten my sandwich and salad and now I was eating alone in the crowded cafeteria. I was honestly hoping that maybe there would be no more empty tables and then someone would decide to eat with me just for a place to sit. There were four more empty chairs at my table. There was plenty of room.

            I took a huge bite of my sandwich. I wanted out of the cafeteria as soon as possible. This would come sooner if I ate huge bites.

            “Jasmine?” a voice said behind me.

            I looked behind me and saw Serena with Jordan.

            “Why are you eating alone?” Serena asked with concern.

            “No one to eat with,” I said honestly.

            “Well, do you mind if we join you?”

            “Have a seat.”

            They sat down, bowed their heads, and when they were done praying, they began eating.

            “You wouldn’t believe Jasmine’s voice,” Serena told Jordan. “She sings beautifully.”

            “Really? What kind of music are you interested in?”

            “Christian,” I said quietly as I felt my cheeks warm.

            “How long have you been a Christian?” Jordan asked with interest.

            “Since I was fifteen.”

            “Do you want to share the story?” Jordan asked.

            “NO!” I said quickly.

            Jordan and Serena looked up from their sandwiches in surprise.

            “I mean, it is a long story, meant for another day. And besides, there are testimonies out there that are way more inspirational than mine.”

            “Well, we don’t know. But it is your business whether you choose to share your story,” Jordan agreed.

            “It’s amazing how one person can have such an influence on a person. I mean, they go from living a sinful life to a life where they live according to God’s plans. They want everyone to enjoy the forgiveness that they have received. They want everyone to be saved, to be ready when the big day comes.

            “That’s how we all need to live our lives,” I said. “We need to make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age."

            “Is that God’s plans for you?” Jordan asked me.

            “I don’t know. It’s been something I have been working on for the last few years.”

            “Why didn’t you say what God’s plans were last night?”

            “Because my life is different now. College life is completely different.”

            “There are plenty of people on this campus that need to hear the Gospel,” Serena said.

            “How did you share the Gospel before?” Jordan asked.

            These questions were getting too personal. I didn’t want to tell them about being homeless. But if I answered their questions than they would soon find out about my past.

            “Things were different then,” I said.

            “Of course college is different, but once we get into the swing of things, we will be able to do God’s work.”

            I wasn’t paying attention to Serena or Jordan. I was thinking about how much easier it was to share God’s word when I was in Chicago, when the homeless would gather around me and my band and listen to us for hours on end. Then, they would sing praises late into the night. They had no where else to go and God’s message was so filling.

            But here, college was a lot harder. I didn’t have my band any more. There was no one to sing praises with. And college students didn’t have hours on end to listen. They could barely give up one night a week to go to Campus Crusade.

            “Jasmine, are you listening?” Serena called.

            “What?”

            “I asked you if you were going to go to Neihardt’s Bible study tonight.”

            “Oh, I guess so.”

            “Great. Listen, I need to go. I will talk to you later tonight.”

            “See you later.”

            “See you.”

            “So do you have any more classes this afternoon?” Jordan asked.

            “I’m done for the day.”

            “Me too. Do you want to hang out or do you have to get to homework?”

            “I haven’t met any people before yesterday. I am way ahead on my homework.”

            “Do you want to go on a walk? The nature trail is a great place for a walk.”

            “Will I be all right on it?” I asked. I didn’t want to refer to the fact that I was in a wheelchair just in case Jordan forgot.

            “Oh, you’ll be fine. The nature trail is actually a sidewalk. It just goes into the trees. It is very beautiful.”     

            “I would love to,” I said excitedly.

            We got rid of our plates and then Jordan led me down the road past the athletic fields and then on to the nature trail.

            I didn’t care that the sign at the beginning of the trail said that it was not quite a mile. I would go ten miles just to spend time with a friend. I was tired of being alone.

            “Can I ask you something?” Jordan asked after we had gone a little ways.

            “What’s that?” I asked, even though I knew what she was going to ask.

            “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to,” Jordan asked.

            “What do you want to know?”

            “How did you end up in a wheelchair?”

            “If you don’t mind, I would rather not answer that.”

            “It’s all right. I was just curious. It’s your business though.”

            “Thanks.”

            “But aren’t you hot? It’s like ninety degrees out here and you are wearing pants and a long sleeve shirt.”

            “I’m fine.”

            “At least roll your sleeves up.”

            “I’ll be fine.”

            “It’s your choice,” Jordan said with a laugh.

            We traveled farther along the trail in silence. I wasn’t mad at Jordan. I had been asked that question lots of times. And if Jordan and I do end up becoming really good friends, she would have to know my story sometime.

 

Chapter 9

 

            That evening Jordan, Serena, and I headed down the hall to where one of the girls was having a Bible study. We didn’t know who the girl was but the whole hall had been invited.

            Serena knocked on the door with the names of Emily and Kiara written on the poster.

            “Come in,” a girl called out.

            We walked in and I recognized Emily as one of the girls that was in my group at college group.

            “Hi, Jasmine!” Emily said excitedly. “I didn’t know you lived in this dorm.”

            “I didn’t know you lived here either.”

            “I’m sorry, but I don’t know your names.”

            “I’m Serena and this is Jordan.”

            “So glad you guys could come. This is Kiara and that is Tracy.”

            “Hi,” Tracy and Kiara said together.

            “Go ahead and find a seat on the floor. Sorry we don’t have much in the way of seating.

            Jordan and Serena found some empty wall space to lean against and I parked my chair close to them.

            “Well, I’m not expecting anyone else and it is after nine so we might as well get started. We already know each other’s names so does someone want to open us in prayer?”

            “I will,” I replied.

            “Go ahead.”

            I bowed my head and closed my eyes. “Lord, I thank you for giving us this opportunity to spend time learning about You. I thank You for this group of girls and ask that You be with us as we learn about Your Word. Amen.”

            “Amen,” the girls repeated after me.

            “I know some Bible studies like to study one specific book of the Bible,” Emily said. “But if you don’t mind, I would like to jump around and study specific verses for this Bible study. Is that all right with everyone?”

            “Works for me.”

            “Sure.”

            “Tonight I would like to read Romans chapter twelve verses three through eight.”

            We all flipped through our Bibles till we found those verses.

            “Would someone like to read it for us?”

            “I will.”

            “All right, Jasmine.”

            “For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to us. If a man’s gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve’ if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging; let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.”

            “Thoughts?” Emily asked as I finished reading.

            “We all have equal gifts that can be used to help the church,” Tracy said.

            “So many times we feel like we have nothing though or cannot help the church with the gifts that we have,” Serena said.

            “I think sometimes we do not even realize the gifts and abilities we have. I know I am a pretty friendly person but I do not look at that as a gift,” Jordan said.

            “That is so easy to use in the church though,” I pointed out. “You can give a person their first impression of the church. You can determine whether they will come back or not.”

            “What do you mean?” Jordan asked in surprise.

            “I have been to several different churches in Chicago and there have been times where I have entered and I have been greeted by everyone in the building. That makes me feel welcome and I do want to return. But I have been to churches where I have been completely ignored and I do not want to come back next week.”

            “That is a very good point, Jasmine,” Kiara replied. “You should really think about greeting people, Jordan.”

            “I know you made me feel welcome at college group,” I told Jordan.

            “What are your gifts?” Emily asked me. “How do you use them for the church?”

            “Actually, I sing,” I felt my cheeks warm. I didn’t want to tell them about my rock band or my preaching to the homeless.

            “Another good way to use the gifts you have been given. Anyone else?”
            Everyone was silent as they thought.

            “Please think about what your gifts are and how you can use them for the church,” Emily said. “We will talk more about this next week.”

            We closed in a quick prayer and then adjourned.

            As Serena and I were going back to the room, I felt like my life at college was starting to look up. Maybe I did have a purpose here!

           

Chapter 10

 

            “Jasmine Yamamota,” the nurse called.

            Another doctor appointment. I could just never get away from them.

            I rolled up to the nurse and then followed her back.

            “You need to change into this,” she said as she held up a gown. “Will you be able to do it by yourself?”

            “I will be fine,” I said as I took the gown.

            “The doctor will be in shortly,” she said before she left.

            I took the gown and slipped it over my long sleeve shirt before slipping out of my pants. Then I grabbed a magazine from the rack and flipped through it while I waited for Dr. Howell.

            I read this article about a rock band that made some stupid choices.  That annoyed me so much. I mean, a rock band can have a huge influence on people. That is why my band decided to use our recognition to do some good in the world. It does not take money to help someone. Even a homeless person can do it.

            “Jasmine,” a voice said behind me.         

            My magazine went flying into the air. I had been so involved in the article that I hadn’t heard Dr. Howell come in.

            “You scared me,” I said as I clutched my heart.

            “Sorry. I did knock though.”

            “I guess I didn’t hear you.”

            “So what are you reading?” He picked up the magazine off the floor and handed it to me.

            “Just something about a rock band.”

            “Dr. Garcia did say that you were in a very successful band.”

            “Yeah, I guess we were pretty good.”

            “So, are you ready?”

            “For what?”

            “Have you forgotten why you are here?”

            “Right,” I said slowly. “Yeah, I am as ready as I will ever be.”

            Dr. Howell lifted me up and put me on the table.

            “So how are classes going?” he asked as he put his stethoscope to my chest.

            “All right, I guess.”

            “Have you met some people?”

            “A few.”

            “Any that you consider friends?”

            “Yeah, I’m friends with my roommate and this girl that I met at church.”

            “That’s great!” Dr. Howell started taking my blood pressure.

            “Yeah, but my friends keep asking me questions that if I answer will lead to things from my past.”

            “And what’s wrong with that?”

            “They wouldn’t understand.”

            “Why not?”

            “I’m not from this area. I haven’t seen a single homeless person here.”

            “Jasmine, there are homeless people all over. You don’t have to be in a huge city.”

            “So you are saying that my friends have seen a homeless person and they totally understand what that is like? Believe me; I know how people feel about homeless people.”

            “Jasmine, they aren’t going to understand unless you talk to them. And the only way to make friends is to be a friend. And that starts with being honest.”

            “I will have to think about it.”

            Dr. Howell turned to look at my spine.    

            “Um, Jasmine, why is your back black and your arms pink? Either you are deathly ill or they have changed the color of the gowns.”

            “Dr. Howell, I have to keep my shirt on otherwise people look at my arms.”

            “Jasmine, the only one that is going to see your arms is me. And why is it such a big deal if people look at your arms?”

            “Because my arms are so scarred that people stare.”

            “You have been in an accident. Of course you are going to have scars. And are you sure that people are staring because of the scars? I mean, your hair has blue streaks.”

            “Well, it diverts people’s attention away from the wheelchair.”

            “Jasmine, surely you have realized long ago that you are going to be stared at.”

            “That’s why I have done something about it.”

            “Jasmine, I am going to leave for a minute for you to change. I do not want to see your shirt on underneath. Are you going to need any help?”

            “No, I will be fine,” I grumbled.

            Dr. Howell left and I reluctantly changed out of my shirt and put the gown back on. A minute later, Dr. Howell knocked and then came back in.

            “That’s better,” he said with a look at my spine.

            “No it’s not.”

            “I don’t know how you can even stand to wear something like this when it is so hot outside.”

            “Being a little warm verses stares and questions. It’s a no brainer.”

            “Jasmine, you don’t care that your hair is blue. That is far from ordinary. Yet you care that you have some scars. Everyone has scars.”

            “Everyone does have a few scars. But not everyone has scars like me.”

            “It’s what’s on the inside that counts.”

            “Yeah, but nobody knows about my past, so they can’t really know about me.”

            “That’s why you need to be honest.”

            “College is too complicated,” I said with a brush of my hand. “I think I will go back to living on the street.”

            “Surely you don’t want that.”

            “Well, not really. I enjoy having three meals a day and a roof over my head. But I miss my band and the freedom of the street.”

            “So you want to spend the rest of your life on the street?” Dr. Howell asked seriously.

            “I guess not.”

            “Stick with it, Jasmine. Pray for help and guidance. Things will work out. God has a plan for you.”

            “Yeah, I just need to figure that out first.”

           

Chapter 11

 

            “Are you sure you are all right?” Serena asked Saturday morning as she put her hand to my hot forehead.

            “I don’t know what is going on,” I mumbled into the thin blanket. I had a bad stomach ache along with a fever.

            “What is your parents’ number? I will call them and ask what I should do.”

            “You can’t,” I said.

            “Jasmine, they will know what to do. Now, what’s your number?”

            “I don’t have one.” I just wanted this conversation to stop. I wanted Serena to leave me alone so that I could sleep.

            “How do you stay in contact with your family then?”

            “I’m an orphan,” I said.

            The room was starting to swim and I was having trouble focusing.

            “So what am I supposed to do? Who are your guardians?” Serena said worriedly. “It’s Saturday and the nurse isn’t here. Should I take you to the hospital?”

            “Call the number on the desk,” I told her because there was no way that I could get up to find Dr. Howell’s card. I was really hoping that we could get off the topic of guardians.

            Serena started looking through the few things on my desk for the card and I closed my eyes and tried to get some rest.

            The next thing I know, Dr. Howell is leaning over my bed shining a light in my eyes and there is a heavy blanket over me.

            “How are you feeling?” he asked gently as he took the thermometer out of my mouth.

            “Terrific,” I mumbled sarcastically.

            “What’s wrong with her?” Serena asked worriedly. “What should we do? Did you know that she is an orphan?”

            “Just relax, Serena,” Dr. Howell said. “Why don’t you go get a wet cloth for me?”

            Serena grabbed a washcloth from her drawers and then ran it under the water facet before handing it to Dr. Howell.

            “What’s this for?” Serena asked.

            “It’s to help her cool down,” Dr. Howell said calmly.

            “Why? What’s wrong?”

            “She just has the flu,” Dr. Howell replied.

            “You mean there is nothing to worry about?” Serena asked doubtfully.

            “She will be fine later,” Dr. Howell assured her.

            “Wait! Don’t go!” Serena cried as Dr. Howell started packing up his bag.

            “Jasmine will be just fine,” Dr. Howell assured her. “If she gets worse, feel free to call me.”

 

            Later that night, my fever broke and suddenly I felt much better.

            “How are you feeling?” Serena asked from the chair right beside my bed.

            “Just fine,” I said with a laugh. “Why are you sitting beside me? Did you think that I was dying?”

            “How was I supposed to know what was wrong with you?”

            “Serena, Dr. Howell said that I had the flu.”

            “And I didn’t know that before he came.”

            “But you knew about it after. So why are you still here? Surely you want to go out on a Saturday night.”

            “Jasmine, before I knew that you had the flu, before Dr. Howell came here, you told me that I couldn’t contact your parents because you are an orphan. And Mr. Howell didn’t deny it.”

            “And your point is…?”

            “I guess I felt sorry for you being all alone. That is why I am still here even though I knew you would be all right.”

            “Thanks, I guess.”

            “Jasmine, why didn’t you tell me that you were an orphan?”

            “What difference would it make? So you can feel sorry for me? I don’t want pity, Serena.”

            “I just felt hurt that you wouldn’t share something so important about you with me. I thought we were friends.”

            “Why do you think being an orphan is so important to me? Maybe it is a good thing. Maybe it is a bad thing. Have you come up with ideas of why I am an orphan?”

            “I have been thinking of possibilities all day.”

            “Have you also thought that maybe I don’t want to talk about it?”

            “I’m sorry, Jasmine. I guess I probably shouldn’t have brought it up.”

            “Don’t worry about it, Serena. I know that I should have been honest. But at first you were just ignoring me and then when we became friends I guess it just slipped my mind.”

            “Jasmine, I just get the feeling that you are hiding something. You avoid a lot of Jordan’s and my questions.”

            “Serena, I have my reasons.”

            “What are those reasons? And please be honest for once.”

            “I guess I just haven’t wanted to talk about it. I just didn’t think that you would understand.”

            “Try me.”        

            “I’m not going to tell you everything tonight,” I warned her.

            “You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to.”

            “You are right though. We are friends and you deserve the truth. Or at least part of it. I’m not ready to talk about it all.”

            “Talk about what you want,” Serena replied.

            “I was orphaned when I was fifteen,” I began slowly.

            Serena knew that this was hard and grabbed my hand.

            “I woke up one day to discover that my parents were dead and my sister was in a coma.” I quit speaking for a moment as I flashed back to when the doctors told me the horrible news. A tear fell from my eyes.

            “You don’t have to continue if you don’t want to,” Serena said kindly.

            “I nearly died.” I stopped for a minute to get the will to say it. “My sister died a few days later. I wasn’t able to go to her funeral.”

            I hadn’t told Serena that the whole thing was caused by a drunk driver. I could tell that Serena was confused but I wasn’t ready to say anything more.

            “I’m so sorry, Jasmine,” Serena said as she gave me a hug.

           

Chapter 12

 

            Sunday at college group Steven had talked about something called talk time. He was going to be on campus sometime that week and if we wanted to we could go hang out and talk. I had completely forgotten all about it until I was going through the student center later that week.

            “Hey, Jasmine!” Steven called from where he was sitting by himself in the area of chairs.

            “Hi,” I replied as I went over to him.

            “How’s it going? Have time to stay and talk for awhile?”

            “Yeah, I am done with classes today. And everything is going pretty well.”

            “That’s good. Enjoying the semester?”

            “It’s been an adjustment.”

            “It is for everyone.”

            “I guess things are getting better.”

            “That’s good to hear. If you don’t mind me asking, why do you have blue hair?”

            “I used to belong to a rock band in Chicago,” I told him.

            For some reason, I didn’t care what Steven asked or thought. He seemed like he really cared about each individual person that went to Journey Christian Church.

            “Really?” he asked with interest. “What kind of music did you do?”

            “Christian?”

            “Where did you perform?”

            “In churches and on the street.”

            “You were a street performer?” he asked with surprise.

            “How else do you expect me to earn any money?”

            “But why did you need to perform on the streets?”

            “It was the only way we could earn money,” I said honestly. “Nobody would hire me because of my age and disability.”

            Steven looked like he wanted to ask more but I think he knew that he was getting into stuff that was none of his business.

            For the first time since I came to Wayne, I felt like sharing my past with him. He was a guy that honestly cared, just like Dr. Howell.

            Before I could say anything though, Steven asked another question.

            “How long have you been a Christian?”

            “Since I was fifteen. I was a pretty stupid teenager before that. I drank, did drugs, and ran the streets of Chicago.”

            “And what brought you to God?” Steven asked curiously.

            “One day, I woke up in the hospital and discovered that my family had been in an accident with a drunk driver. I had barely survived, my sister was in a coma, and my parents were dead. My sister ended up dying a few days later.

            “In the hospital, this group of people from a local church would visit people who were alone. They ended up bringing me to Christ.

            “After I got out of the hospital, I was sent to a rehab facility since I was paralyzed.

            “Once I left there, I came back to Chicago, I found that I was alone with no where to go. I ended up living on the streets. I ended up meeting some other Christians who wanted to start a band. We performed in churches and on the streets. Any money we earned went to help others that were homeless, not ourselves. Our goal was to share the Gospel with the homeless.”

            “How in the world did you end up here then?”

            “I got a scholarship because otherwise there was no way I could afford college. My doctor told me I had to take this opportunity otherwise I would be on the streets for the rest of my life.”

            “Wow, Jasmine. I appreciate you sharing your story with me. I can only imagine the difficulties that you have gone through and continue going through.”

            “I didn’t have much choice. I couldn’t get off the streets.”

            “What do you plan on doing after college?”

            “I know this is going to sound crazy, but I want to open a Christian homeless shelter. I know what it is like to be homeless. I know what the people need.”

            “That’s not crazy at all. You have already done so much good, with so little.”

            “I just feel so helpless right now. I am honestly wondering if I made the right choice in coming to college. Everyone keeps talking about God’s plan for them but I don’t think God has any plans for me here. He did in Chicago.”

            “He wouldn’t have given you the scholarship if He didn’t have plans for you.”

            “But then what am I supposed to do? I can’t help people here.”

            “He will reveal His plans in time. In the meantime, you should really think about sharing your story. People can learn a lot from you.”

            “It was so much easier teaching the people on the streets.”

            “I will be praying for you, Jasmine.”

 

Chapter 13

 

            “God is totally amazing!” I told Serena one night as I came into the room.

            “What happened?” Serena asked as she looked up from her notebook.

            “I just got a job in the Admissions office. I start tomorrow!”

            “That’s great, Jasmine.”

            “I know. I need the money. This couldn’t come at a better time.”

            “Jasmine, can I ask you something?” Serena asked hesitantly.

            “Sure,” I replied, not really caring if she asked me about the accident or being homeless.

            “How can you be so close to God?”

            “What do you mean?”

            “You are an orphan. Why aren’t you angry at God?”

            Serena didn’t even know my whole story. She didn’t know that my story was filled with more sadness than happiness.

            “God has blessed me in more ways than you realize.”

            “How? I mean, if I were you, I probably would not have a good relationship with God. I would be angry for taking my family away.”

            “First of all, God has given every Christian forgiveness. What is not great about that? That fact alone should make people eternally grateful. But God has also given me so much. I can’t even begin to understand why.”

            “What do you mean?”

            “Maybe it is time that I am completely honest with you.”

            “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I am curious but this is your business.”

            “Please don’t judge me at the beginning.”

            “I won’t.”

            “When I was a young teenager, I was very rebellious. I ran the streets of Chicago, drinking, doing drugs. I lived for myself and my rock band.

            “One morning, I woke up in the hospital. My family had been hit by a drunk driver and I was extremely lucky to be alive.”

            “You told me that,” Serena replied. “I guess you do have one thing to be thankful to God for.”

            “The story doesn’t end there though. In the hospital, a church group came to visit me because I was alone. I was so full of questions that they came back multiple times. I ended up giving my life to God a few weeks later.”

            “That’s great!”

            “I’m not finished yet!”

            “Sorry. I thought this was a happy ending to the story.”

            “When I finally got out of the hospital, I found out that I had no one and nowhere to go. I was homeless.”

            Realization flooded Serena’s face. I could tell that she knew I was still technically homeless. She waited for me to continue.

            “At first life was hard. I was hungry, cold, scared. I didn’t know what to do. I eventually met some people who helped me out. I also met some teens that wanted to start a Christian rock band.”

            “That makes sense since you have a beautiful voice.”

            “We sang at churches and on the street. Any donations we made went to help other homeless people, other than ourselves.”

            “But you needed the money.”

            “God provided for us. We had what we needed.”

            “Like what? Jasmine, you have absolutely nothing. All you have is a battered blanket.”

            “And God provided me with that blanket. And there were homeless shelters.”

            “Jasmine, I can’t believe this. How in the world did you end up in college?”

            “Scholarship. And I actually didn’t want to accept it because I wanted to continue helping the homeless. And, I didn’t think I would fit in here.”

            “So what do you plan to do when you leave here?”

            “I want to open a Christian homeless shelter. There are people that need to be saved.”

            “Jasmine, you have to speak at Cru some time. Think of what you could do with the support of a whole campus.”

            “I know. But people often look down at the homeless and say that they are lazy and it is their fault.”

            “That is why you need to share what it is like. You are one of the most inspirational Christians I have ever met and I just met you.”

            “I had no other choice.”

            “Sure you did. You could have not used your God-given talents of singing and sharing the Gospel. You could have kept the money you made for yourself.” She stood up.

            “Where are you going?”

            “I need to talk to someone. I will talk to you later.”

 

Chapter 14

 

            “Savior I come, quiet my soul,” I sang. It was a great day and I was celebrating the end of classes and work for the day by praising God. “Remember. Redemptions Hill, where your blood was spilled.”

            I had just gotten the money from my first paycheck and I was putting it into a big envelope to send to Dr. Garcia.

            Just then there was a knock on the door. I quit singing and opened the door. I recognized the girl as one of the people who had spoke at Cru the very first night but I couldn’t remember her name.

            “Hi, Jasmine,” the girl said as she held out her hand. “I’m Sara.”

            I shook her hand, still wondering what in the world she wanted.

            “Mind if I come in?” she asked.

            “Go right ahead,” I said as she grabbed the door and I moved away so that she could get through. “You can sit at my roommate’s desk.”

            “Thanks.”

            I waited patiently for her to begin.

            “A couple of weeks ago Serena came to me,” she began.

            “Ok,” I said slowly, wondering where in the world this was going.

            “She told me that you had shared your story with her and that it was absolutely inspirational.”

            “I told her not to tell anyone!” I said, outraged.

            “Don’t worry. She didn’t tell me anything. All she said was that she thought people on campus should really hear you speak. That’s why I am asking you to speak at Cru next week. You don’t have to say yes immediately. You can have a day or two to pray about it.”

            “I don’t need to pray about this,” I told Sara. “God has put me in this position many times in Chicago and I know that is what He wants for me here as well.”

            “So you’ll do it?”

            “Yes.”

            “Thanks so much. I am so excited to hear you speak!”

            “You don’t even know my story.”

            “Yeah, but Serena was sure inspired by it so I’m sure you will be great.”

            “Thanks.”

            “By the way, was that really you singing before I came in.”

            I felt my cheeks flush. “Yeah, that was me,” I mumbled.

            “You are really good. Would you ever like to sing at Cru?”

            “Again, that is something I know God wants me to do.”

            “I’ll look into it for you. But anyway, I need to go. Thanks so much for speaking on Thursday.”

            “No problem.”

            As soon as Sara was gone, I went back to putting my paycheck into the envelope.

            “What in the world are you doing?” Serena asked as she burst into the room.

            “I am putting this money into the envelope.”

            “Isn’t that the money you earned from your paycheck?”

            “Yeah.”

            “Where are you sending it?”

            “To Dr. Garcia. He is my doctor in Chicago. He is going to give the money to the homeless.”

            “But you need that money, Jasmine!” she protested. “You have nothing.”

            “What do I not have?”

            “Look at your side of the room. You have no computer, bed sheets, nothing.”

            “And that is where you are wrong. I have three meals a day, a roof over my head, medical care, and a chance to get a college education. I am way luckier than some of the people I know.”

            “So you are giving up everything you made?” Serena asked in disbelief. “To people who have no money? Have you wondered why they don’t have money?”

            “There are people in the world that need it more than I do. Dr. Garcia will make sure that it gets to the right people. Besides, have you ever really thought about why the homeless are homeless? It isn’t by choice. If they could work, they would.”

            “You never fail to inspire me, Jasmine,” Serena said seriously. “I saw Sara before I came here and she said that you agreed to speak at Cru this week.”

            “Yeah, it is no big deal though. I have done this lots of times before.”

            “Are you kidding? Your faith is absolutely amazing!”

 

Chapter 15

 

            “Would you just calm down?” Serena asked Thursday evening as I was attempting to pace in the small space of our room with my wheelchair.

            “I can’t. What if people don’t understand my story?”

            “Why wouldn’t they understand?”

            “I’m a city girl. I am from Chicago. What do you people know about being homeless and being in a terrible accident that changed your life?”

            “Jasmine, everyone’s story is different. Besides, you are speaking to a group of Christians. They are going to be open to hearing your story.”

            “Are you sure?”

            “Yes, now, why don’t we sing a song? You need to be distracted until Cru and music seems to have a calming effect on you.” Serena put on an upbeat Christian song and we both started moving around, singing to the music.

            I put my hand into the air and then went to bring it down. But on the way down, my arm scraped against the wall and a very, very sharp nail.

            “OW!” I cried. I grasped my arm very tightly.

            “Are you all right?” Serena asked as she quit singing and rushed over. “What happened?”

            “I scraped my arm against that nail.”

            “Let me look,” Serena said as she tried pulling my hand away.

            I held all the much tighter.

            “Jasmine, you are bleeding. Let me help you get that cleaned up.”

            I looked down at my arm and saw that I had torn my long sleeve shirt and that I was indeed bleeding.

            Serena pulled my hand away and we could see that I was bleeding pretty badly.

            Just then Jordan walked in. She saw the blood and grabbed the towel from the sink and tossed it to me.

            “What in the world happened?” she asked.

            “She cut her arm on that nail,” Serena said.

            Jordan helped me mop up the blood on my arm but it was still bleeding very badly.

            “I think you are going to need stitches,” Serena said.

            “And probably a tetanus shot,” Jordan said with a look at the nail.

            “We need to get you to the hospital.”

            “I can’t go to the hospital. I have no money. Plus, I need to speak at Cru.”

            “Jasmine, you just can’t ignore this. You could get really sick.”

            “Why don’t we call your doctor?” Jordan suggested. “Maybe he can help us.”

            Serena went over to my desk and grabbed Dr. Howell’s card and called the number.

            “Hello, Dr. Howell,” she said when he picked up. “This is Serena, Jasmine’s roommate. Jasmine cut herself on a nail and there is blood everywhere. We kind of think she might need stitches.” She listened for a few seconds. “All right, thanks.”

            “What do we need to do?” Jordan asked.

            “Keep the towel on and he will be here in a few minutes.”

            “I am going to be late for Cru!” I protested.

            “Cru doesn’t start for another thirty minutes. Then there will be music for awhile.”

            “If you need me to, I can stall for a few minutes until you can get there,” Serena offered.

            “It looks like I have no choice,” I said as there was a knock on my door.

            “That was fast,” Serena replied as Dr. Howell came in.

            “I was planning on going to Cru to listen to Jasmine,” he explained.

            “Thank goodness you could come,” Jordan said.

            “Let me take a look,” Dr. Howell said and I surrendered the towel to him. “You definitely need stitches.”

            “Make this quick!” I protested.

            “I will take care of Cru,” Serena assured me.

            “Do you mind if I cut the sleeve off this shirt?” Dr. Howell asked. “You wear such tight shirts that this will just be easier.”

            “I only have one other shirt though.”

            “I will get you a new one tomorrow.”

            “Fine.”

            Serena handed Dr. Howell her scissors and he cut off the sleeve of my shirt. He then gave me a couple of shots so that I wouldn’t feel anything.

            “I’m afraid that I should probably go,” Serena said with a look at the clock.

            “I will have her there as soon as I can,” Dr. Howell assured them.

            “We’ll stall them as long as we can,” Jordan said before they left.

            I was silent as Dr. Howell began working.

            “Maybe I don’t belong here,” I said at last.          

            “What do you mean?”

            “Maybe I don’t belong at college.”

            “And you determined that because you got a small cut?” Dr. Howell asked with a laugh.

            “No, I have been thinking about it ever since I arrived here. But then I started fitting in.”

            “So why the change in opinion?”

            “Tonight people are going to find out all about me. They are going to start treating me differently.”

            “Jasmine, you were given this scholarship for a reason. God wants you here.”

            I was silent as I thought about that while Dr. Howell finished his stitches.

            “Are you ready to go?” he asked at last.

            “Let me change and then I will be ready to go.”

            Dr. Howell left the room and I changed into the only other shirt I had. Then, it was time to go tell Wayne State my story.

Chapter 16

 

            When we got to Cru, Serena was up front, speaking.

            “Jasmine is truly an inspirational girl,” she said. “You will really enjoy hearing her story. That’s why afterwards I want you to consider giving a donation. Jasmine donates her money to a group of very needy people.” Serena looked at me and I gave her a little wave. “And now everyone, here is Jasmine.”

            The crowd turned around to look at me and clapped as I headed towards the front.

            When I reached the front of the room, I was suddenly having flashbacks. I saw my mom and dad, followed by my sister. Then there was the image of me waking up in the hospital followed by an image of my first days in the wheelchair. Then there was the memory of me realizing I was on the street and a memory of my band and sharing the Gospel with the homeless. The last image that I saw was the one where I arrived at Wayne State.

            I rolled up my sleeves as far as they would go for the first time since the accident. The students gasped as they saw the scars but I ignored them. God had one purpose for me-to share the Gospel. Who cared what these people thought about me. Hopefully they would be for me but if they weren’t, I didn’t care because I was fulfilling my purpose.

            “Sorry I am late,” I began as I drug my self back to the present. “I kind of had a little run in with a nail and I had to deal with that.

            “Anyway, my name is Jasmine Yamamota and I am from Chicago, Illinois. I have pretty much lived my whole life there.

            “I grew up with my parents and sister. I grew up as a rebellious teenager and I got into a lot of trouble. I joined a band and we drank, did drugs, and ran the streets of Chicago.

            “Everything changed one day when I woke up in the hospital.” I stopped for a minute as I flashed back to that day, one of the worst days of my life. My eyes started flooding with tears and I blinked a couple of times to make them disappear. “My parents were dead,” I continued shakily, “and my sister was in a coma. I was very lucky to be alive after being in an accident with a drunk driver.”

            “My sister died a few days later and I was left alone to deal with all the pain in life. I was paralyzed and I was going to be in the hospital for a long time. I had lots of time to remember.”

            I was quiet again as I thought about those horrible days.

            “I probably would have died myself if a group of Christians hadn’t come to the hospital to visit people. Through their visits I was able to surrender my life to God.”

            There were a few claps at this and I waited for them to die down before I continued.

            “It wasn’t a walk in the park after that though. After I finally got out of the hospital, I was sent to a rehab center. When I finally got back to Chicago, I found out that I had nowhere to go. I was all alone.”

            More flashbacks arrived and I thought about the first nights on the street. It had been a very cold night and I shivered at the thought and remembered how scared I was.

            “I ended up sleeping in the park that night. In fact, I didn’t move for the next few days because I was so scared. I finally moved after I got really hungry. I saw people dumpster diving to find food and that’s what I wanted to do to.”

            I saw some people cringe at the very idea but I ignored them.

            “Since I am paralyzed, this mother helped me out. She and I ended up becoming very close. Even though we were both homeless, she treated me like her child. She made sure that I had something to eat, that I went to school, and was warm. She actually gave me the blanket I have on my bed.

            “I also got involved with a couple of other Christians. We formed a band and performed for donations that we gave to the homeless. We also shared the Gospel with the other homeless people.

            “I actually liked living on the streets, even though I had nothing. The people were very kind, and I was living for God.

            “That’s why I was very hesitant to come here after receiving a scholarship. I was going to be coming to a foreign place and not going to be able to share God’s Word.

            “Someone eventually informed me that God gave me this scholarship for a reason. God has plans for me here.”

            I didn’t have a conclusion. I was done. But before I could say that I had nothing more to say, Serena and Jordan came forward.

            “We know that Jasmine is too modest to say this, so we will say it for her,” Serena said. “All we do is complain about what we don’t have. But Jasmine had nothing and still has nothing. Yet she is still willing to help others. I watched her send her entire paycheck to the homeless.”

            “Why can’t we do the same?” Jordan asked. “They need the money more then we do. And don’t say that you are a poor college student. We all are but we still manage to find money to buy clothes, music, and fast food. There are people out there who don’t even have the basic necessities that we do.”

            Jordan and Serena finished speaking and everyone started clapping.  Afterwards, I was surrounded by people who had questions. I was happy to share my faith and story with them.

 

Chapter 17

 

            “What’s this?” I asked Serena when I got back to my room after Cru. There was a big box on my bed that certainly did not belong to me.

            “Jordan and I got you a little something. Go ahead and open it.”

            Serena put the big box on my lap and opened the flaps. I peered inside and started crying.

            “What’s wrong?” Serena asked worriedly.

            “Come here and take this from me,” I told her.

            She picked up the box and put it on the floor. Then I wrapped my arms around here and gave her a big hug.

            “This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me,” I told her as I wiped tears from my eyes.

            “Jordan and I were so impressed by your wiliness to give up your paycheck to help others that we decided to do the same. We went out one day while you were at work and bought you bed sheets and shampoo and all those things that we just take for granted.”

            “Thank you. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate this.”

            “You are not allowed to give away any of this to charity though,” Serena said firmly.

            “How did you know that I was thinking about doing that?” I asked with a laugh.

            “I know you a little too well. That’s why Jordan and I planned this out. We went to a dollar store and did not spend much on any of the things we bought you. We only bought you things that you absolutely need. Then we bought even more things with the money we saved so that a donation could be made to help the homeless.”

            Serena went over to the closet and pulled out another big box.

            “That’s for charity?” I asked as I wheeled over to see what is in the box.

            “Everything in this box,” she said with a grin.

            “Serena, you think of everything!” I said as I gave her another hug.

            “There’s one more thing.”

            “What’s that?”

            “Well, every summer, some people decide to spend their summer in other cities doing mission work. And Jordan and I have decided that are going to Chicago. We have found a homeless shelter where we will be working at. We were hoping that you would be willing to help us since you have already had experience sharing the Gospel while helping others.”

            “I haven’t exactly thought about what I was going to do this summer. It was either take classes here or go back and live on the street. But God has clearly called me to help the homeless. And that’s exactly what I want to do!”

            “So are you in?”

            “Of course I am in. Even a rock star like me has a purpose!”

            “And we can fulfill that purpose together!”

 

Chapter 18

 

            “You have mail,” Serena said as she handed me a letter.

            I noticed that it was from Dr. Garcia. I eagerly ripped it open even though I knew that he was probably just responding to my letter about me demanding that he come get me and take me home.

            Dear Jasmine,

            College is an adjustment. The first few weeks can be hard for all freshmen, not just freshmen with blue hair and are in a wheelchair. You just need to give it time. Remember, God gave you that scholarship, so He obviously wants you there. I will be praying for you.”

            Dr. Garcia

 

            I laughed as I put the letter aside. Dr. Garcia was definitely right of course. I just needed to give it time and let people get to know the real me.

            Sure, I was still hurt about the way people treated me when all they knew about me was that I was a freak with blue and pink hair and a nose ring. At least now people have looked past my physical appearance and seen the real me, the average, homeless, rock star college student. Yep, I was one of a kind!