Teen Mother

Taylor decides it is time to return to school after having her baby. Life is difficult being a teen mother. Will her life really be better with God?

Chapter 1

 

            My stomach growled as I waited for the guidance counselor to get back. I hadn’t had enough money for breakfast and I knew that it was going to be a long morning.

            I thought longingly of the stale dinner rolls I had found in the restaurant dumpster in my old backpack beside me. They were very tempting.

            Maybe coming back to high school was a mistake, I thought. I mean, who am I kidding? There is no way that I can take care of myself and a baby only working after school.

            Already the paychecks didn’t cover some of the most basic necessities.

            If I quit school, there would be a little more money for Lindsey and me. I could get my GED when Lindsey got older.

            But then my mind started imagining my life in ten years. I would be explaining to Lindsey that I was the reason we were living under a bridge.

            I imagined Lindsey at fourteen, a drug addict, hooked up with some loser, about to give birth to her first child.

            The cycle will never end, I reminded myself. That is why I am going to school.

            I may have made some stupid decisions, which led to some serious consequences, but I am going to get out of them. I am going to give Lindsey a better life.

            “And here you are,” the guidance counselor said as she handed me my schedule.

            I looked it over and saw that I was in a lot of the same classes that I was in before I had Lindsey.

            “Well, if you are ready, I will take you to English.”

            “All right.” I stood up and followed the counselor out of the office and into the halls.

            “I suppose we should stop at your locker first,” she suggested as we passed rows of ugly yellow lockers. She stopped at one and pointed to it.

            I stepped up to the locker and looked at my schedule to read my combination. I opened my locker, threw my backpack inside, and slammed it shut. Then the counselor led me to a classroom and we went inside together.

            The students looked up from the books they were reading quietly as we walked in.

            “This is Mrs. King, the English teacher,” the counselor told me as we approached the teacher’s desk. “Mrs. King, this is Taylor Virotchi.”

            “Welcome, Taylor. You can sit in the desk right there.”

            I walked awkwardly to the desk that was located in the exact middle of the room. The students were still staring at me.

            As I walked by, the students close to me scrunched up their noses and turned away. I could see them making faces at their friends.

            My face flushed red as I sat down in the desk that Mrs. King had pointed to. I already knew that I smelled. I couldn’t even remember the last time I showered. I tried to rinse in the river everyday but I hadn’t had time this morning, not that it really mattered. You try getting clean in the river.

            Mrs. King came over to bring me my textbook and I saw her face as she caught my ‘scent’. She tried pretending that nothing had happened but it was too late.

            For the rest of class, I only pretended to read the story, so that I didn’t have to see the stares or facial expressions of the people around me.

            Maybe coming to school was a mistake. I could just keep my job as a waitress until Lindsey was older and then I could go and get my GED. The torture I was going through now was just not worth it.

 

Chapter 2

 

            Yes, coming back to school was a mistake, I decided as I sat alone at lunch, eating my stale dinner rolls and washing it down with a glass of water from the drinking fountain.

            I would finish out the day but then after school I would go to work and see if I could start working full time. At least that would mean more money for Lindsey and me.

            “Mind if we sit here?” a friendly looking girl with long brown hair asked as she approached the table with her dark friend.

            “Go ahead,” I said politely. I wondered why they wanted to sit with me. There were other tables open but they wanted to sit with me, the girl wearing old clothes that smelled.

            “I’m Ester and this is Jade,” the dark girl said as they opened their milk cartons.

            “Taylor.”

            The girls eyed my lunch suspiciously but thankfully didn’t ask the questions I could see they were burning to know.

            “You know, I’m not really up for my cookie today,” Jade said. “Would you like it, Taylor?”

            Yes! More than anything. I was so hungry and I hadn’t eaten food that wasn’t from a restaurant dumpster in so long.

            I knew that Jade was only offering her cookie because she felt sorry for me. Was I about to swallow my pride and take her pity?

            “I can’t take your cookie.”

            “I insist. I would hate to see it go to waste.”

            So would I.

            Everyday, I see people waste so much food at the restaurant and then I would see the homeless people that would give everything they owned for their leftovers.

            “You can also have my apple,” Ester said.

            I took the apple and cookie, slightly embarrassed but also thankful that I had more than just stale rolls.

            “So where did you move from?” Ester asked.

            I swallowed my bite of apple. “Um,” I said as I racked my brain, looking for an answer quickly. “I just transferred schools.” I didn’t bother to tell them that I was not coming back here tomorrow.

            “And what school did you transfer from?”

            “Lincoln High.”

            “Well, welcome to Washington. If you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to ask.”

            “Thanks.” I took a large bite of my cookie. It was the greatest thing I had eaten in a long time.

            “And if you’re interested, Jade and I hold a Bible study before school every Wednesday. We meet across the street at the park.”

            “But we meet there everyday before school just to pray and hang out.”

            “A Bible study?” I had never been one for religion. I had been too busy with other things.

            “Sure. Right now we are taking turns sharing our favorite Bible stories and what it means to us.”

            “You should check it out sometime.”

            “Where do you live? Maybe we can go to school together sometime.”

            What was I supposed to say? I lived under a bridge!

            But wait, I told myself. Who says you can’t go meet them at their house instead of the other way around?

            “Emerald Boulevard,” I finally said. That was close to where the bridge was located.

            “That’s great!” Jade exclaimed. “We live there too. Do you want to walk with us tomorrow?”

            “Sure. What time and where do you want me to meet you?”

            It was only after I had gotten directions to the park across the street from their apartments that I remembered that I was going to quit school tonight.

 

Chapter 3

 

            After school, I went to the restaurant to put in a few hours. But since it wasn’t the dinner hour, the restaurant was empty except for two older men drinking a cup of coffee. So I had some time to think about whether or not I should drop out for good.

            I wasn’t always in the position I’m in now. I wasn’t always homeless or a mother or a waitress. A year ago, I used to have a pretty good life; compared to what I have now.

            At fifteen, I was living the great life. My parents gave me a lot of freedom, which I used to run around the streets. I ended up getting involved with the wrong crowd.

            At first, I changed the way I looked. I started with ripped jeans, short shirts and progressed to dying my hair black and piercing my nose and belly button.

            After that, I moved on to smoking, drinking, and drugs. I also got involved with a guy that was in a gang.

            My parents didn’t care at all what I was involved with; that is, until I found out that I was pregnant with Lindsey.

            I went to one of those crisis pregnancy clinics and fainted when they confirmed what I already knew. When I came to, they explained my options to me.

            Abortion sounded like a quick, easy solution to me at the time, but state law required me to wait a few days. And during that time, I did a lot of serious thinking.

            Suddenly, abortion was no longer an option. I couldn’t believe that I had even considered it. I knew that I had to carry this child for nine months and then I could always put the baby up for adoption.

            I told my parents that I was pregnant and didn’t get the reaction I was expecting. Sure, I knew they wouldn’t be thrilled to find out that they were about to become grandparents, but I didn’t expect them to kick me out of the house.

            They told me I could come back once I had an abortion so I had no choice but to leave.

            I spent a couple of nights at my friend’s house, who happened to be one of the girlfriend’s of a member of the gang. While there, I knew that I would need to make some changes in my life. I had to cut out the drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes. And I couldn’t stay at Mandie’s house because she lived for those things.

            So early one morning, I snuck out of the house before Mandie woke up. I knew that she would confront me if she saw me leaving and she would tell Andrew, my boyfriend. I didn’t want Andrew to know about the baby, in case I decided not to give up the baby for adoption. I didn’t want the baby to grow up in that kind of environment.

            Since I didn’t have any friends that weren’t involved in a gang or illegal substances, I was resigned to living on the street. I found the job at the restaurant and stayed in school until Lindsey was born.

            The whole time, I kept thinking that an abortion would be the best solution. I could go back home where it was warm and I had plenty to eat. But I just couldn’t. I also couldn’t give up Lindsey once she was born.

            That’s why I am still on the street and trying to finish high school while trying to work.

            It would be simpler just to quit school, but life wouldn’t get any better. I wanted to give Lindsey everything. I didn’t want her to think that because I was stupid, I was giving her a life far from pleasant.

            As more customers came in for dinner, I drug myself away from my thoughts and started waiting tables. I knew that I would have to stay in school to give Lindsey what she deserved. I didn’t go through all the trouble to bring her into the world to give her nothing.

 

Chapter 4

 

            After work, I went to find Lorena, an elderly homeless woman that will watch homeless children while their parents try to make a living. I wouldn’t be able to work or go to school without her.

            “Thanks so much for watching Lindsey,” I thanked her as she handed me Lindsey.

            “No problem, dear. How was school?”

            “I don’t know if it is right for me,” I said honestly.

            “You need to give it time. Remember, you are going back to give Lindsey a better life.”

            “But I don’t belong there. I know I smell. My clothes are old. Everyone stares.”

            “What is more important to you, Taylor? Students and their opinion or Lindsey?”
            “Lindsey.”

            “Then it’s settled. I will see you tomorrow.”

            “Would you mind watching Lindsey a little earlier? I agreed to meet some girls before school.”

            “Of course. Bring her anytime.”

            “Thanks, Lorena.”

            I left Lorena and headed down the road carrying Lindsey. I was exhausted but the day was still not over. I still had homework.

            Luckily, Lindsey was asleep and I was able to work on my homework in peace.

           

            I awoke early the next morning to a heavy rain pouring on me and Lindsey crying. I picked her up and looked at my watch. I had only been asleep for a couple of hours and it was not time to get up. But there was no way that I would be able to get back to sleep in this rain.

            But maybe I could get to the homeless shelter and have time for something to eat before I needed to go to school.

            “What can I do for you, dear?” the friendly woman asked as I entered the shelter.

            “Can I have something to eat, please? Also, do you have something for my daughter?”

            “I’ll be right back, dear. Please, sit down and make yourself comfortable.”

            I sat down at the table. The cafeteria was nearly empty, but I imagined that the sleeping quarters were full.

            This was the greatest shelter in the city. I didn’t come very often. It was often inconvenient for me to come for meals because I either didn’t get up in time to come before work or I was at work. And I didn’t sleep here unless the weather was bad.

            Whenever I did come though, there was always someone around to help me, no matter what time day or night. They had pretty much anything you could possibly need and the workers were usually quick to offer more suggestions.

            The woman returned with a tray laden with toast, sausage, orange slices, and a glass of milk. There was even a bottle for Lindsey.

            “Enjoy,” she said as she put the tray in front of me. She took Lindsey from me and started feeding her the bottle while I eagerly started digging in.

            “Is there anything else you need?” the woman asked.

            “I really just needed shelter from the rain,” I explained between bites. “But the food is a nice bonus. I haven’t eaten anything since yesterday for lunch.”

            The nice thing about this shelter is that they don’t ask questions. I was able to eat in peace without being pestered.

            The woman fed Lindsey silently as I finished my breakfast.

            “Would you like a shower?” the woman asked.

            I looked at the clock. I could use a shower. But I also was supposed to meet Jade and Ester soon. And I still had to drop off Lindsey.

            “Maybe another time,” I said glumly. “I’ve got to get going.”

            “All right.” She handed Lindsey back to me. “But don’t hesitate to come back. And feel free to ask for whatever you need. We are here for you.”

            “Thank you,” I said as I left the table and headed out of the shelter.

 

Chapter 5

 

            “Good morning, Taylor,” Jade said cheerfully when she met Ester and me at the park across from her apartment. “You look tired.”

            “I didn’t get a lot of sleep.”

            “Well, are you ready to go?” Ester asked.

            “Forward march!” Jade exclaimed.

            I wasn’t sure why I had agreed to meet them for an early Bible study. I had never been one for religion and never would I have gotten up early for religion. I didn’t even know why I even bothered coming to school today. It must be something to do with Jade and Ester.

            The walk wasn’t long but it was slightly awkward. I knew that I smelled. Jade and Ester were trying to be nice but I could tell that they didn’t want to get any closer to me than they had to.

            “Here we are,” Jade said as we arrived at the park across from the school.

            “Good morning,” Ester greed two girls as we approached a picnic table.

            “Taylor, this is Emerald and Trisha.”

            “Glad you could join us,” Emerald said as we sat down at the picnic table with them.

            “Who’s sharing today?” Jade asked as we sat down.

            “I am,” Emerald replied.

            “What are we reading today?” Trisha had pulled out a Bible and the other girls had followed suit. I suddenly felt self conscious that I didn’t have a Bible.

            “Matthew chapter eighteen verses ten through fourteen.”

            “You can share with me,” Jade offered as she put her Bible between us and opened up to the part that Emerald had said.

            “Ooh, we’re reading about the lost sheep!” Trisha exclaimed.

            “Who wants to read first? Do you Taylor?”

            “I’ll pass,” I said quickly. I wasn’t even sure where we were starting. The Bible had four columns with a bunch of numbers. None of it made since.

            “I’ll read,” Ester volunteered.

            “Just read one verse since it is short.”

            “See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven.”

            “For the Son of Man has come to save that which was lost,” Emerald read next.

            “What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off?”

            “And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off.”

            Suddenly it was my turn to read. Jade pointed to the spot where I was supposed to read since I had no idea where we were.

            “In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost.”

            There; that wasn’t quite so bad.

            After we had read through, Emerald started speaking. I tried to listen to what she had to say but I was so confused about what we had just read.

            “As humans, we are so judgmental. We judge people on whether they are better of worse Christians than us. We judge people on whether or not they are worse sinners. But this passage means one thing to me: we are all Christians and God doesn’t want to lose any of us.”

            She got all of that out of that short story? I was still trying to figure out why a person would throw a party over one sheep when he already had ninety-nine others.

            “Do you have anything to add, Taylor?” Emerald asked, dragging me away from my confused thoughts.

            “No,” I said quickly. I couldn’t add anything if I didn’t understand anything.

            “Then let’s pray and head into the school.”

           

Chapter 6

 

            I found myself thinking about what we had read in the Bible throughout the day. I was so confused. How could sheep be related to people? And why would God care about one person when He had ninety-nine others? I really wanted to ask Jade or Ester but I didn’t want to look like I knew nothing about the Bible.

            So instead I left school at the end of the day to go to work and contemplate some more.

            I was so distracted that I didn’t notice when one of the customers tried talking to me.

            “Taylor?” a familiar voice said in surprise.

            I pulled away from my thoughts and recognized Jade sitting alone in the booth.

            “I didn’t know you worked here!”

            Since it was not the dinner hour quite yet and Jade was the only customer, I sat down on the other side of the booth to talk to her.

            “We just met,” I reminded her.

            “So how long have you worked here?”

            “For about a year.”

            “How long do you work?”

            “Until ten.”

            “Till ten? How many days do you work a week?”

            “Almost everyday.”

            “I don’t know how you can do that! You hardly have any time for anything besides school and work.”

            She didn’t know the half of it.

            “I need the money.”

            “Don’t we all,” she agreed.

            “So what brings you here? Are you eating alone?”

            “No, I meet a group of middle school girls here every week for a little Bible study. I’m here a little early.”

            I remembered her group. They always looked like they were having a lot of fun. Every week I always wished that I could join them.

            “Can I ask you something?” Jade asked.

            “Sure.”

            “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I thought you seemed a little confused this morning. Are you a Christian?”

            “Am I a Christian?” I repeated.

            “Yeah, have you given your life to God?”

            What did she mean? I mean, I believe in God but that is it.

            “Do you live your life for God?” Jade clarified again.

            “No.”

            “So you aren’t a Christian?”

            “I’m guessing no since I haven’t lived my life for God or whatever you are talking about.”

            “Your time will come, just give it time. Ester and I will help you. And then God will rejoice for you, just like the parable we read this morning.”

            “Ok, first of all, what is a parable? And what did sheep have to do with anything?”
            I thought Jade would laugh but she calmly started explaining. “Parables are how Jesus taught. They are stories that have meaning.”

            “And sheep are supposed to teach us something?”

            “It’s more symbolic. The person in the story represents God and the sheep represent people. God wants everyone to believe and live for Him. He cares about everyone. God was celebrating when the lost person came back.”

            “And I’m a lost sheep? Are you sure God really wants me. I think He is more against me.”

            “We all have trials in life, Taylor. Through them, we can draw closer to God.”

            “Taylor!” my manager called.

            I looked around and saw that the dinner crowed was starting to arrive.

            “I have to go.”

            “I will pray for you, Taylor. Feel free to talk to me whenever you want.”        

            “Thanks, I guess.”

            Now that the issue of the sheep was cleared up, I had one less to think about. But instead, now I had to think about being a Christian. And I felt like Jade had told me very little about what I needed to know.

 

Chapter 7

 

 

            That weekend I woke up early so that I could pick up some things that I needed before I went to work. Since it was a nice day, I took Lindsey with me instead of dropping her off with Lorena. I would do that before I went to work.

            Once at the store, I went to pick up some formula for Lindsey and a box of cereal for me. There were lots more things I could use (like plastic diapers instead of the cloth ones I use and a lot more food) but I didn’t have much money left.

            I was walking past the books on my way to look at getting more soap when I saw the aisle of books.

            Now, I have never been one for reading and I definitely don’t have time for a leisure read now but one book in particular caught my eye.

            The cover was hard and red and said ‘Holy Bible’ across the front. Inside were a thousand pages that could lead me to understanding God. This book held the meaning of life.

            I flipped it over to the back cover to look at the price. There was no way that I could afford this! Who was trying to make a profit off of God? There were people who needed the most important book in the world but couldn’t afford it at this price.

            I put the book back on the shelf but immediately grabbed it back. I had a little money. Maybe I could splurge a little. But that would mean that I couldn’t get the formula, cereal, and soap. I couldn’t afford the Bible when I absolutely needed those other things.

            I heard voices approaching so I reluctantly put the Bible back on the shelf and turned to walk away.

            “Taylor!” a voice shouted.

            I turned around to see Ester and Jade. What in the world were they doing at the store this early in the morning? What was I going to tell them about Lindsey?

            “Hi,” I said.

            “Who’s the baby?” Jade asked.

            “Um, this is Lindsey, my cousin.”

            “She looks a lot like you.”

            “I suppose we do share some common genes.”

            “She sure is cute.”

            “So what are you doing at the store so early?” I asked.

            “We are helping at the homeless shelter today with our church but we needed to pick something up first.”

            Well, I guess I wouldn’t be going to the shelter for breakfast before work.

            “Yeah, we wanted to get you a present.”

            “Why would you want to give me a present?” I figured they probably wanted to buy me a strong perfume to mask my smell.

            “Well, we were going to surprise you at Bible study next week, but we are getting you a Bible!”

            “A Bible?” I couldn’t believe it. Now I could find out why God so badly wanted me! Now I could have answers!

            “We thought you seemed a little confused at Bible study so we decided to help you out.”

            “So what brought you to the store so early? Why are you in this aisle?”

            “I was looking at the Bibles.”

            “Why were you putting it back when we saw you?”

            I could lie some more or tell the truth. “I couldn’t’ afford it,” I said honestly with a look at the floor. I could feel my cheeks flushing.

            I wondered what they were thinking. Jade knew I had a job. She probably thought I was being cheap.

            “Well, it was nice seeing you but I really have to go.”

            “Yeah, you need to leave so that you don’t see the present we’re about to get you.”

            “See you later,” I said as I left the aisle.

            “Doesn’t God work in mysterious ways?” I heard Jade say from the aisle right next to the books. “She wanted a Bible but couldn’t’ afford one. And now we are going to get her one.”

 

Chapter 7

 

            “Pretend to be surprised when we give this to you,” Jade demanded at Bible study as she pulled out a wrapped package.

            “All right,” I said as I eagerly tore off the paper. “Wow! A Bible! Thanks guys!” I gave Ester and Jade a hug and started flipping through the book.

            “We have decided that we are going to cover the Romans Road today,” Jade said.

            “What is the Romans Road?” I asked.

            “It is used to explain the good news using verses from Romans. If you turn to Romans you will find that we have highlighted some verses for you,” Jade said.

            I looked in the table of contents to find where Romans was located and then turned to it.

            “Are you ready?” Trisha asked me as they all got out their Bibles. “This lesson is completely devoted to you.”

            “Wow. Thanks, I guess. Well, let’s get started.”

            I felt a little embarrassed that the whole lesson was devoted to me just because I didn’t know what they did. I knew they were just trying to be helpful though.

            “Ok, let’s begin with Romans chapter three verse twenty three,” Ester said. “It says that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.”

            “Do you want to take a guess at what that means, Taylor?” Emerald asked.

            “We have all messed up and God doesn’t like it?” I guessed.

            “Pretty much. It also means that not one person is innocent. Everyone has sinned.”

            “Ok.”

            “The next verse is in Romans chapter six verse twenty three,” Ester said.

            “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord,” Jade read.

            Everyone looked at me to give my interpretation.

            “We die because we sin. And I don’t know what the last part means.”

            “Well, we don’t just die physically,” Jade explained. “We don’t get to go to Heaven if we sin.”

            “Then nobody can go to Heaven?” I asked in disbelief. “Because everyone is a sinner.”

            “That is what the second part of the verse means. We are given eternal life through Jesus.”

            “The next verse is in Romans chapter five verse eight,” Trisha said. “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

            “Christ died for us while we were sinners? What does that mean? I wasn’t even born when Jesus died.”

            “It means that everyone is supposed to die because we are sinners,” Trisha explained. “But God sent His Son Jesus to die for us instead.”

            “Romans ten verse nine says that if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved,” Ester said.

            “Are you sure?” I asked doubtfully. “All I have to do is believe and I’m saved? What about all the sins I have done?”

            “We have all sinned, Taylor,” Ester said. “But we can all be forgiven. Romans eight, one says that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. This means that we will never be condemned for our sins.”

            “And finally, Romans eight verse thirty eight and thirty nine says that neither death nor life neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future; nor any powers, neither height nor depth, not anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”      

            “So that is it? I just have to believe and I’m forgiven? It seems too good to be true.”

            “Of course it does,” Emerald said. “We have all messed up and we don’t deserve forgiveness or eternal life. God just really loves us.”

            “What about people who have really messed up?”

            “Did you see anything in those verses that said it only applied to certain sins?” Jade asked with a small smile.

            “No.”

            “Then you can be forgiven!”

            “Why don’t you read these verses through several times?” Ester suggested. “Really think about what they mean.”

            As I walked into school, the Romans Road was still on my mind. It all seemed too good to be true, but wonderful at the same time. I had messed up in the past and I really wanted to be forgiven.

 

Chapter 8

 

            That night it was so cold that I couldn’t sleep. I had wrapped Lindsey tightly in the only blanket I had but it wasn’t enough to keep her warm and she wouldn’t stop crying.

            “Shut your baby up!” I heard someone down the river call.

            I rolled my eyes. Some people just don’t understand babies.

            “Shh,” I said soothingly as I picked up Lindsey and held her close to me. I started rocking her in my arms, hoping to warm her up and help her fall asleep.

            I really should have gone to the shelter tonight. But I didn’t know that it was going to be this cold and I had gotten off work very late. The shelter fills up pretty quick on nights like this.

            Finally Lindsey quieted. I knew I couldn’t put her down though because she would start crying. Plus, Lindsey was keeping me warm as well.

            I knew it was going to be a long night so I picked up my Bible and flipped through it. I wasn’t familiar with any of the stories but I needed something to pass the time. And I figured I could maybe get some of my questions answered.

            I stopped on a page that Jade had highlighted. They had told me they had only highlighted in the book of Romans. But I was in the book of Philippians. She surely must have highlighted this passage for some reason.

            Forgetting what is behind and straining towards what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

            My past? Is that what it meant when it talked about forgetting what is behind me?

            Jade and Ester knew nothing about my life. Why would they give me some verse that dealt with my past?

            And how exactly was I just supposed to forget about what happened to me? I had a baby and a home under a bridge that reminded me of my past everyday. How could I look forward when there was nothing in the future to look forward to except the street? I was going nowhere.

            Oh well. There were other stories in the Bible. I finally decided to read the book of Ester since I figured my friend Ester was probably named after her.

            I started reading and was amazed at what I was learning. Ester was so brave. She did it all to save her people. God made her queen so that her people would be saved. It was all part of God’s plans.

            I really hoped God had plans for me that were as big as the plans He had for Ester. I could imagine my story being put into the Bible. But first, I needed to get off the street. I wasn’t getting anywhere right now.

            Suddenly, I had the urge to pray. I had never prayed before in my life, except for during Bible study, but I was sure that I could do it myself.

            “Lord, help me and Lindsey. Help us to live like Ester, according to Your plans. Amen.”

 

Chapter 9

 

            I don’t know when I fell asleep, but I do know that I awoke a short time later to Lindsey crying. I knew she was hungry but I didn’t have anything to feed her. I was going to have to go shopping before I went to school.

            I picked up Lindsey and headed towards the store. I was exhausted and really just wanted to crash at the shelter all day. But I knew that that wouldn’t be very smart. I was no straight-A student and my grades were already suffering because I didn’t have much time for homework and studying. But I couldn’t do anything about it because I needed to work.

            I was thankful that when we arrived at the store it was nearly empty. Lindsey was still crying and I really didn’t want people staring at me thinking I was an abusive mother.

            I headed instantly for the baby aisle. The sooner I could get out of the store, the better.

            “What’s wrong?” a young woman in the baby aisle asked as she tickled Lindsey.

            “She’s just hungry,” I told her. “We ran out of formula.”

            The woman shot me a look that plainly told me that I was a horrible mother for not making sure that I had enough to feed her. She stalked away, thankfully, and left us alone.

            I reached into my pocket to see how much money I had. I only had enough to buy Lindsey’s formula and nothing else. I was running short on time so I was going to have to get my breakfast from the dumpster instead of the shelter.

            I quickly paid for the formula and rushed back to the bridge to prepare a bottle for Lindsey.

            “Would you mind feeding her?” I asked a young homeless girl that I had seen around the bridge a few times.

            “Sure,” she said eagerly as she took Lindsey from me.

            I’ve noticed that since I became homeless, I have become a lot more trusting. I don’t know if that is true of all homeless people, but I have found that sometimes I need a little extra help. And without it, I would not be getting anywhere. That is why I have Lorena babysit Lindsey and right now I have the young girl watching her.

            I headed down the river slightly to where the riverside restaurant is located. I looked around to make sure no employees were watching, and then headed towards the dumpster.

            I needed to hurry if I was going to meet Jade and Ester before school. I still needed to drop Lindsey off with Lorena.

            I dug through the dumpster and finally found a couple of slices of homemade bread and a half-filled bucket of slightly brown lettuce. That would get me through until tonight after work.

            I grabbed the food and went back to the little girl to get Lindsey.

            “Can I watch her again?” she asked.

            “Sure, just come by the bridge anytime I’m there.” That was hardly ever but I wouldn’t mind the girl coming again to play with or watch Lindsey.

            I ate the lettuce on my way to Lorena. I wanted it gone before I had to meet up with Jade and Ester. Explaining the bread for breakfast would be a lot easier than the slightly brown lettuce.

            I headed to the park, where Lorena lived and watched the kids. Most of the homeless people who slept in the park had either gone to the shelter for the night or were already up and about. Hopefully I wasn’t running late. Hopefully Lorena hadn’t decided to go to the shelter either.

            Thankfully, I saw Lorena at the far end of the park. I tossed my lettuce bucket in the trash and rushed Lindsey over to Lorena.

            “Good luck at school,” Lorena told me before I rushed off.

            I ran to the other park where I was supposed to meet Jade and Ester and arrived right on time but really out of breath.

            “You look tired,” Jade commented.

            “Didn’t get enough sleep,” I huffed.

            “Let her catch her breath,” Ester said with a laugh.

            “Well, let’s start heading to school. God doesn’t want us to waste away here.”

            “What?” Ester asked with a laugh.

            “He has plans for us,” Jade explained. “And we aren’t going to live according to those plans if we don’t get moving.”

            As we walked to school, I thought about what Jade said. Could God really have plans for me at school or to actually go to school? Is that why I hadn’t dropped out yet?

           

Chapter 10

 

            “Taylor Virotchi, please report to the principal’s office, a loud voice called over the loud speaker right before lunch.

            “What in the world did you do?” one of the friendlier girls asked. “You just moved here.”

            “She may not be in trouble,” another friendly girl said. “Maybe there is a problem with her schedule.”

            “Well, whatever it is, I will never find out unless I go.”

            I wasn’t worried. If I was in trouble, I would just quit school. It would certainly make things easier for me.

            “But the thing is, I don’t know where the principal’s office is.”

            Since it was the end of the period, the math teacher had finished with the lesson and we were just waiting for the bell to ring.

            “I’ll take you,” Emerald offered.

            We left the classroom and walked down the halls in silence.

            “You aren’t worried, are you?” Emerald asked after awhile with concern.

            “Why should I be worried?” I asked with a slightly nervous laugh. Apparently I was more nervous than I thought. “I haven’t done anything.”

            “It will be all right. Principal Blaser is really nice.”

            “I sure hope so.”

            We entered the main office and the secretary pointed to a door.

            “I will see you later,” Emerald said with a small but encouraging smile.

            I slowly pushed open the door and found myself in one of the tiniest offices I have ever seen. There was a man behind the desk that I assumed was Principal Blaser and across from him were three chairs, two which were occupied by two women. The guidance counselor was also standing next to them.

            “Come in, Taylor,” Principal Blaser said with a gesture. “Have a seat. I’m Principal Blaser and this is Mrs. Rinsky, the gym teacher and this is Ms. Ortega, the nurse. And I know you have met Mrs. Warner, the counselor.”

            What kind of trouble was I in if the nurse and the gym coach needed to be called in. I wasn’t even in a gym class and I wasn’t sick. Maybe they were thinking I needed to be in a gym class for good health. Yes, that would make sense.

            “You’ve been here for a very short time and we have had several complaints each day about you,” Principal Blaser began.

            Well, that wasn’t what I was expecting.

            “I’m sorry for whatever it may be,” I said. “I am new here and I’m sorry that if in my ignorance I broke some rules.” I was trying to be as polite as possible even though I didn’t think I had done anything wrong. Though was it really my fault if I didn’t know?

            “Oh, you haven’t done anything wrong,” Principal Blaser said with a weak laugh. “No, it’s something else. I’m not sure how to say this.” He looked down at his desk awkwardly, as if it might help him say it.

            “We have had several complaints about your person,” Ms. Ortega said.

            “My person?” What were they talking about?

            “People have been complaining about the way you smell,” Ms. Ortega said gently.

            I felt my face flush but the news wasn’t something I wasn’t aware of.

            “I know,” I said quickly. “I have tried rinsing in the river but I just don’t have a lot of time.”

            “The river?” Principal Blaser questioned.

            “I’m sorry. I don’t have a lot of options. I don’t get to the shelter very often.”

            “Are you saying that you are homeless?” Mrs. Warner asked. “Why didn’t you say anything when you registered?”

            “Because it isn’t anyone’s business!”

            “But we aren’t able to help you if we don’t know.”

            “Oh, yeah? And how are you going to help me? My last school didn’t help me at all! They just pretended like I was an ordinary student and ignored the bullying. What more can you do?”

            “Well, this meeting is a start,” Mrs. Warner said calmly. “And hopefully we can come up with some options.”

            “Unless you have an offer for three square meals a day, rent for a house, and child care, I am not interested.”

            “Maybe you should start at the beginning,” Principal Blaser suggested.

            “It was a dark, stormy night when Taylor Virotchi came into the world,” I said in a voice that would be appropriate for a ghost story.

            “Skip forward about fifteen years,” Mrs. Rinsky said dryly.

            “Fine.” I wasn’t going to tell them everything but I could give them an abbreviated version so that they could ‘help me’.

            “I made some stupid decisions in my life. When I realized I was pregnant, my mother kicked me out of the house. I stayed in school and found a job at the restaurant, all while living on the streets. I was bullied and teased and I almost quit school. Today, I am still in the same situation only now I have added a baby to the equation.”

            “Where is the baby now?” the nurse asked.

            “Free babysitter.”

            “Well, Taylor, there are some things we can do for you.”

            “Like what?”

            “Like making sure you get a free lunch everyday and a shower.”

            “Really?” I asked excitedly. My stomach growled at the very thought.

            “Taylor I’m permitting you to skip the rest of classes this afternoon so that you can get cleaned up and eat a good meal.”

            “I would hug you if I didn’t smell so bad!”

 

Chapter 11

 

            Since I always carry all my possessions with me wherever I go in my backpack, all I had to do was go to my locker for my soap. Then Mrs. Rinsky led me to the locker room so that I could shower.

            It had been awhile since I had been able to take a shower. Most of the time I took a quick dip in the river and called it good. But lately the river had been too cold to actually submerge myself into the water.

            I had forgotten how warm the water from the shower was. It felt so great.

            I don’t know how long I was in the shower. I had all afternoon but I decided it was time to get out when I heard girls coming into the locker room to change for PE.

            I quickly dried off and put on my dirty clothes. I couldn’t do anything about my clothes but at least I felt one hundred times cleaner. I hadn’t felt this clean in a long time.

            Once I was dressed, I left the locker room and found Mrs. Ortega waiting outside for me.

            “Wow!” she said when she saw me.

            I blushed because it wasn’t like I looked fabulous, because the old, dirty clothes I was wearing didn’t make me look gorgeous. I knew she was wowing my clean skin, which is kind of embarrassing because a clean body is something everyone should have.

            “Thanks for arranging the shower,” I mumbled.

            “No problem. Well, are you ready for something to eat?”

            “Am I ever!”

            Mrs. Ortega took me into the kitchen where the cooks handed me a tray with mashed potatoes, chicken, pears, and milk.

            “I’m going to have you eat in my office,” she said as she led me down the hall.

            Mrs. Ortega pointed to the chair in front of her desk and I sat down and put my tray on her desk.

            I eagerly dug into my chicken while Mrs. Ortega worked on her computer. I was afraid that the real reason Mrs. Ortega wanted me to eat in her office was so that she could talk to me. Thankfully she let me eat in peace.

            I hadn’t tasted anything so good in a very long time. I was feeling spoiled with this delicious meal. And to think I was going to get this at school everyday.

            Mrs. Ortega didn’t talk until I was completely done eating.

            “So, is there anything else we can do for you?”

            “I think lunch and the shower are perfect,” I said as my cheeks flushed again.

            “Is the baby being taken care of?”

            “She is my first priority.”

            “And you have enough to feed her?”

            “Yes. I do work and Lindsey’s needs come before mine.”

            “And you’re sure that there isn’t anything more we can do to help you?”

            “You have already done plenty. I can’t think of anything else you can do.”

            “In that case, school is about to end and you are free to go. Please let us know if there is something else we can do.”

            “Thank you, Mrs. Ortega. I will.”

            I quickly headed to my locker and had just gotten it open when the bell rang.

            “Hi, Taylor!” Jade said when she saw me.

            “Hi, Jade,” I said without any enthusiasm.

            What was I going to say to her? Surely she was going to ask where I had been all afternoon. Surely she was going to ask why I was suddenly clean.

            “God been good to you?” she asked.

            “Yes,” I said, waiting for more personal questions.

            “That’s good,” she said as she slammed her locker shut. “Well, see you tomorrow!”

            And that’s why she is such a good friend. She doesn’t pry.

 

 

 

 

Chapter 12

 

            On Sundays, the restaurant is always closed because the owner is very religious so I took advantage of the extra free time.

            When I woke late that morning, I picked up Lindsey and went to the shelter for a nice brunch and a hot shower before heading back to the bridge to do laundry and homework.

            Since it was a nice day, I laid out my battered blanket, even though it very badly needed washed, and let Lindsey lay out in the warm sun while I did the laundry.

            I didn’t own many clothes. I only had three t-shirts and three pairs of pants. And I had to wear something right now so I could only wash two outfits.

            I sat down on the shore with my bar of soap and started scrubbing my clothes. I wanted my clothes to be as clean as I felt.

            I was so absorbed in my chore that I was taken by surprise when I heard my name being called.

            “Taylor!”

            “Taylor Virotchi!”

            I jumped in the air as I saw Jade and Ester standing right beside me. I saw their eyes stray to Lindsey and I wondered if they still believed the lie about her being my cousin.

            I couldn’t do anything about being homeless though. Laundry in the river was a little too obvious. They had to already know.

            “Need any help?” Jade asked.

            “I think I just about got it. I just need to hang these up to dry.”

            And that is why I liked Jade and Ester so much. They didn’t ask a lot of personal questions.

            “May I?” Jade asked as she gestured towards Lindsey.

            “Of course.”

            Jade picked her up and started cooing at her. “She is so cute. How old is she?”

            “Three months.”

            I grabbed my wet clothes and went over to the bridge to hang them up to dry. I was paying more attention to Lindsey and Jade then I was to my clothes and I cut myself on a rusty nail.

            “OW!” I exclaimed.

            “Are you all right?”

            “What happened?”

            I looked down at my arm and saw blood dripping everywhere.

            “That doesn’t look good,” Jade commented as they came beside me.

            I didn’t have any insurance and I definitely didn’t have money to see a doctor. Occasionally the shelter would have a free clinic but I didn’t think they had it on Sundays.

            “You need to see a doctor,” Ester said seriously.

            “I can’t.” I approached the river to wash the blood off.

            “Don’t!” Ester exclaimed. “You could get a serious infection. You need to see a doctor!”

            “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m homeless. I can’t afford a doctor!” I went to put my arm in the river but Ester grabbed my good arm and pulled me back.

            “You’re in luck,” she said.

            “Why?”

            “My dad is a doctor.”

            “I can’t ask your dad to look at my arm. I have nothing to give him.”

            “My dad isn’t a doctor to make money. He is a doctor to help people.”

            “You can’t leave your arm like that,” Jade said helpfully.

            “Fine.”

            “Let me just call my dad really quick and let me make sure that he is home.”

            “Wrap your arm in this,” Jade said as she handed me one of my wet t-shirts.

            “But I only have three t-shirts,” I protested.

            “I will get you another one. Goodness knows I have more t-shirts than I need.”

            Ester hung up her phone. “Well, my dad is willing to take you.”

            “Are you sure about this?” I asked as we began the walk to Ester’s apartment.

            “Taylor, my dad has done a free clinic at the homeless shelter several times before. And you’re my friend; he is glad to help you out.”

            So I reluctantly walked into the apartment behind Ester with Jade behind me holding Lindsey.

 

Chapter 13

 

            We walked into the kitchen where a man was sitting at the table with a black bag.

            He jumped up when he saw us and stuck out his hand. “Dr. Pirez,” he said.

            “Taylor. Taylor Virotchi,” I said as I shook his hand.

            “Have a seat,” he said as he pulled out a chair.

            I sat down in the chair slightly embarrassed by the attention. I had never been treated so politely by a guy before.

            “Jade, Ester, why don’t you go into the living room? I don’t need you passing out on me.”

            “Dad, that only happened once,” Ester protested, but she and Jade took Lindsey into the living room without a question about her from Dr. Pirez.

            “Let’s take a look at your arm,” Dr. Pirez said as he drew his attention back to me. He put on a pair of gloves and pulled the t-shirt away from my arm to look at the cut.

            The sight of the blood made me dizzy but I didn’t want to pass out so I focused on the clean kitchen instead of my arm.

            “I’m going to need to clean this up, give you a couple of shots, and then stitch you up,” Dr. Pirez said.

            “All right.”

            “So how long have you lived on the streets?” he asked as he started cleaning the cut.

            I figured Ester must have told him I was homeless when she called him because even she only found today.

            “A year.”

            “And how old is the baby? I’m assuming she’s yours?”

            “Yeah. She is about three months.”

            “What’s her name?”

            “Lindsey.”

            Dr. Pirez didn’t say anything else as he gave me the shots but then we had to wait for my arm to go numb. The silence was a little awkward.

            “Did Ester really faint from blood?” I asked to ease the tension.

            “Oh, yeah,” he said with a laugh. “A couple of years ago I brought her to work with me because she had shown interest in a career in the medical field. A woman had come in with a cut like yours and the next thing I know, Ester is on the floor. Ester changed her career plans right after that.”

            We were silent after that as we waited for my arm to numb.

            “Well, are you ready?” he asked after awhile.

            “Go ahead.”

            Dr. Pirez started stitching up the cut and again, I focused on the pictures on the kitchen wall, which seemed to be of Bible verses.

            “How are you doing?” Jade asked as she stuck her head in.

            “All right.”

            “Well, the only reason I came to talk to you is because the baby is crying. I think she is hungry.”

            Oh, I knew I had forgotten to do something. I needed to buy Lindsey more formula. I think I had enough money for it.

            “Let me see if I have any money,” I said. “Could you hold on for one second?” I asked Dr. Pirez.

            He stepped aside for a minute, holding the needle and thread while I dug through my pocket with my good arm. And all I could find was a dollar. I had no other money.

            My cheeks flushed as I thought about what to tell Jade. ‘Sorry, I can’t afford to feed my baby,’ just didn’t sound right.

            “Jade, why don’t you go across the hall and see if Mrs. James can loan you some formula? Once the baby is fed, I will give you some money to go to the store to get some more for Lindsey.”

            “You really don’t have to,” I mumbled.

            “I know I don’t have to, but I want to. God has blessed me so much that I need to give back. And that includes helping others.”

            “I can’t thank you enough! You don’t even know me and you’ve already agreed to take care of me and my baby in this time of need.”

            “It’s my pleasure,” he said as he finished the stitches and then wrapped it up.

 

Chapter 14

 

            Dr. Pirez’s wife came home just as Dr. Pirez was cleaning up and as Jade came back from across the hall with a bottle.

            “What’s going on?” she asked.

            “Taylor, this is my wife; Elaina, this is Taylor Virotchi, a friend of Jade and Ester. She got hurt so I stitched her back up.”

            “Nice to meet you, Taylor,” she said warmly. “Ester has told us all about you.”

            All that she thought she knew, I thought.

            “Taylor,” Jade called from the living room. “You had better get in here!”

            The Pirezes and I rushed into the living room to find Lindsey crying and rejecting the bottle Ester was trying to feed her.

            “What’s going on in here?” Mrs. Pirez asked as I took Lindsey from Ester, who stopped crying instantly. “Who is that baby?”

            “Have a seat, Taylor,” Dr. Pirez offered as he sat down in a comfy chair.

            I took Lindsey over to the couch and started feeding her.

            “Who is that?” Mrs. Pirez asked again.

            “This is Lindsey, my daughter,” I said quietly as my cheeks flushed. I looked at Jade and Ester but they didn’t look surprised. I guess they hadn’t believed the lie I had told them.

            I could tell that the Pirezes were very religious because of the pictures hanging in their kitchen as well as the cross hanging in the living room. There was also a Bible sitting on the coffee table. I couldn’t believe that Mrs. Pirez would think too highly of me after finding out that I am a teen mother.

            Jade and Ester came and sat down on the couch beside me and Mrs. Pirez sat down in the chair across from us.

            “How come you never mentioned Lindsey before?” Jade asked.

            “I didn’t think you would understand,” I said without making eye contact. I was embarrassed that they were my friends but I hadn’t opened up to them.

            “Is that why you didn’t tell us about being homeless?” Ester asked.

            “I guess.”

            “We kind of thought you were homeless. You should have opened up to us; we could have helped you even more.”

            “How did you end up homeless?” Mrs. Pirez asked curiously. “I mean, only if you want to say.” She didn’t seem to dislike me but I couldn’t be for sure. I just knew I owed Jade and Ester an explanation.

            “I didn’t grow up in a family like this,” I said as I recalled my old life. “My parents really didn’t care. And I suppose I picked up a lot of things from them that I shouldn’t have.

            “I was really young when I started running the streets.”

            I suddenly remembered that I had some old pictures in my wallet; pictures I had kept to show Lindsey and to help her make smart decisions. They were some of the few possessions I owned.

            “This was me before I got in with the wrong crowd,” I said as I held up a picture of me at eleven. “And here is me, only a few months later.” The picture showed the changes I had made to my appearance (piercings, hair dying, and torn clothes).

            “I started doing drugs, smoking, and drinking. I go involved with a guy in a gang and made some stupid decisions. I stayed with the guy because I thought he loved me. I was abused and he got me in a ton of trouble, but I loved him.” I flipped to the only picture I had of Lindsey’s dad.

            “When I realized I was pregnant, it was more than I could deal with. I was living the good life. I didn’t want to be a mom now.

            “I went to get an abortion and was required to wait a few days so that I could make sure that it was what I really wanted. I did some serious thinking, and realized that it wasn’t. I went home and told my parents that I was pregnant and they kicked me out. I was told not to come back until the baby was gone.”

            “So you haven’t been back?” Jade asked in shock as she realized how my past connected with my present.

            “I couldn’t. I tried living with a friend for a few days but I knew that it wasn’t the right environment for my daughter. I also didn’t want Lindsey’s dad to know about her.”

            “So what did you do next?”

            “I left in the middle of the night and never came back. I found a job at a restaurant and continued with school, all while living under a bridge. I took a short break from school right after Lindsey was born but now I’m back.”

            There were tears in Mrs. Pirez’s eyes and everyone else looked dazed. They didn’t know what to say.

            “The street isn’t a proper place to raise a child,” Mrs. Pirez finally said. “I don’t care if you don’t want your old boyfriend to know.”

            “Why don’t you come stay with us for awhile?” Ester suggested.

            “That’s a great idea!” Dr. Pirez agreed.

            “I can’t stay with you,” I protested. “I mean, sure, this is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me and I so badly want to take your offer but you have no idea what you are getting into.”

            “Why not?” Mrs. Pirez asked.

            “I live on the street for a reason. I can’t afford a house. There is no way that I can afford to pay you room and board. And you don’t want a loud baby living with you.”

            “Are those your only arguments?” Dr. Pirez asked with a laugh.

            “Let’s see you try to fight your way through them.”

            “We will someday. Bur for now, you can stay with us and we will work out the details later. I don’t want any protests. Deal?”
            “Deal,” I agreed as I shook Dr. Pirez’s hand.

 

Chapter 15

 

            That evening the Pirezes took me out for dinner. There are few words to explain the experience. The food was only the tip of the iceberg. They treated me like one of them. I felt like part of a family. In fact, deep down, it really made me wish that I could provide this kind of family for Lindsey.

            After we got back, Ester must have known that I needed some time alone with my thoughts so she put on a movie and we watched in silence.

            I had never had much of a family. My parents never cared what I did because they were more focused on what they wanted. And that’s why I wanted more than anything to stay with the Pirezes, not because they could offer me the things that I couldn’t afford, but because they were the family I never had.

            “Ester, can you come in the kitchen?” Dr. Pirez called after awhile.

            “Must have something to do with my arm,” I told Ester as I stood up and handed her Lindsey. I only hoped that I didn’t need more shots.

            “Have a seat,” Dr. Pirez said when I entered the kitchen.

            I sat down across from him and his wife and waited for them to begin. I didn’t think this had anything to do with my arm.

            “Elaina and I have been discussing your predicament,” Dr. Pirez began. “But we both realized that our talks are pointless without you.”

            Yeah, because there was no way that I could just live with them for nothing. I wasn’t going to use them.

            “We really don’t think that the streets are the best place for anyone to live,” Mrs. Pirez said, “but it is especially not good for a young child to be raised on the streets. I mean, no offense, but you ran the streets and look where it got you.”

            “You’re exactly right,” I agreed. “Why do you think I don’t want Lindsey to meet her dad? I don’t want her exposed to that kind of life.”

            “But she will end up exactly like you-homeless and pregnant if you continue living the life you have now.”

            “But what choice do I have? I’m doing everything I can but it is just not enough!”

            “Exactly. That’s why we want to help.”

            “But-“

            “Wait one second, Taylor. This is the part where we need to discuss this together.”

            I kept silent as I waited for them to continue.

            “We would absolutely love for you to come live with us,” Mrs. Pirez said.

            The way she was talking, I could almost sense a big ‘but’ coming on. But she said we needed to discuss this together. Some how they wanted to help me! And any help would be greatly appreciated.

            “We always wanted another child but God only gave us Ester,” Dr. Pirez continued.

            I was getting very impatient. I wanted them to get straight to the point.

            “So we would be happy for you to live with us until graduation!”

            “I just can’t live with you for a couple of years for free though,” I protested.

            “We expected that you would say that so that’s why we wanted to discuss this with you.”

            “Are you sure you know what you are getting into? You know that I have a three month old baby?”

            “And we would love to have Lindsey stay here with us. It would definitely be better than the streets.”

            “So how can I help? I certainly do not expect you to take in a loser who made some stupid mistakes in her life.”

            “Taylor, Lindsey is not a mistake,” Dr. Pirez said firmly. “And I know you don’t think that. Otherwise you would have had an abortion. No, each child is a gift from God.”

            “But the reason I am homeless is because I made some wrong decisions in the past. And I regret every one of them, except having Lindsey.”

            “That’s better,” Dr. Pirez said.

            “So how can I help?”

            “Well, we really don’t need the money, but we figured that you wouldn’t agree to stay here for nothing. So we thought you could keep your job at the restaurant but only work a couple of nights a week. They you would have more time to spend with Lindsey and do your homework.”

            “You could also help out with chores.”

            “I could do that! But I have a question. What about Lindsey when I am in school? Right now she spends the day with a homeless woman for free.”

            “I only work part time,” Mrs. Pirez said. “So I can watch her when I am not at work. And when I am at work she can stay at the daycare we have at work. It is free for employees.”

            “You would do that for me?” I was shocked. I had only met them today.

            “Of course.”

            “Any more questions?”

            “None that I can think of right now.”

            “Are you going to stay with us?”

            “Yes!”

 

Chapter 16

 

            Life changed significantly in the next week. Suddenly, I had three meals a day, clean clothes, a hot shower, somewhere warm and comfy to sleep, and more time to spend with Lindsey. It was a paradise.

            I was also equally happy the next Sunday when I went with the Pirezes to church for the very first time.

            “Would you sit still?” Ester complained as we waited for church to start.

            “But I’m so excited!” I protested.

            “This is church, not Disneyland.”

            Just then a person carrying a guitar came up front followed by two people carrying microphones and another person who headed right for the piano.

            “I would like to welcome all of you to worship this morning,” the person with the guitar said. “Let’s stand and praise our Lord together.”

            We all stood up and the band started playing a really fast song. Lyrics for the song appeared on the screens in front of us and everyone started singing and putting their hands in the air.

            This was church? It felt like a rock concert! I must surely be in Heaven if this was the proper way to worship God.

            Even though I had never heard the songs before, I caught on quickly and really started getting into it. Ester was very entertained by my dance moves but I was just going with the music.

            After we got done singing, we sat down and another guy came up front.

            “So many times we question God’s authority,” he began. “So many times we wonder why in the world something is happening to us. Why did I have to get sick? Why am I poor? Why was I let go at work?”

            Or why was I a homeless teen mother?

            “This question was evident in the Book of Ester, when Ester was made queen. But it turned out that God had plans for her. He had plans for her to save her people. She wouldn’t have been able to do that if she hadn’t been queen.”

            I was excited! I knew the story of Ester! I could learn even more about her!

            “At the time, it didn’t make sense for Ester that she should be queen. But later, after she had saved her people, it was obvious that God made Ester queen for a reason.

            “The same holds true in our lives today. At the time, something may not make sense. But later, we can look back and see that God had been at work.

            “This is easily seen in the life of Karina, a girl who was badly injured in a drunken driving accident. Right after the accident, Karina was angry. She was paralyzed from the waist down and couldn’t see how God could do something like this to her.

            “Over the next few years, Karina got involved with a campaign to raise awareness about the dangers of drinking and driving. She now travels across the world, giving presentations and collecting donations to help victims like her pay medical bills and move on with what God had planned for them.

            “Karina had no idea when the accident happened that God had huge plans for her.

            “Are you living according to God’s plans?” he asked in closing.

            Was I living according to God’s plans? I asked myself as we stood up to sing again. God surely had plans for me if He had made me homeless and given me a baby. But was I really ready to accept those plans and give my life to God? It was all a bit much right now. And why would God want me to do something for Him? All I had ever done in my life is mess up.

            Just then the song ended and the person who had played guitar had come forward with a young woman.

            “This is Mallory,” he said. “She has decided that she is ready to join in God’s family through baptism. And I only have one question for you: Do you accept that God has sent His Son to die for you?”

            “I do.”

            “What’s going on?” I whispered to Ester as the guy and Mallory left.

            “Mallory has decided to live her life for God. When that happens, a person is baptized, washed away of their sins.”

            “Their sins are washed away like that?” I asked in disbelief with a snap of my fingers.

            “Just like that,” Ester said as Mallory came down some stairs into a big bathtub located in front of the room.

            The man quickly followed and the next thing I know, he dunks her under and everyone is standing and clapping.

            Was I ready for the final step? Could my sins be washed away? More and more was just adding to the pile of things I wanted to know.

 

Chapter 17

 

            “Do you want to go to teen group tonight?” Ester asked me late that afternoon.

            “What is teen group?”

            “It’s a group at the church for high schoolers. It is a lot of fun. We have dinner and then we break into groups and talk about a given topic. Afterwards, Riley is available to talk to anyone who needs it.”

            “Who is Riley?”

            “He is the youth minister. He was playing guitar this morning.”

            “I guess that sounds like fun.”

            “I feel like you are very close to giving your life to God. Do you feel that way?”

            “Sometimes. But then I learn something else and I feel like there is more I need to learn before I can.”

            “Maybe you just need to talk to Riley.”

            “Maybe.”

            That evening Ester and I picked up Jade and went to church. I was slightly nervous because I wasn’t sure what to expect but also excited that I could learn more about God and hopefully get some of my questions answered.

            “Hello, Jade. Hello, Ester,” Riley said as we entered the church. “And I don’t believe me have met.”

            “Taylor,” I said as I shook his hand.

            “I’m Riley. Welcome.”         

            “Thank you.”

            Riley turned to some more people coming in and Jade and Ester led me into a meeting room filled with tables.

            “Where should we sit?” Jade asked as we looked around at the partially filled tables.

            “Let’s sit with Jasmine,” Ester suggested.

            “Mind if we join you?” Jade asked Jasmine.

            “Go right ahead.”

            “So how are you doing, Jasmine? I haven’t talked to you in so long.”

            “I’m doing pretty well. I have a lot to do to get ready for graduation in a few months.”

            “Oh my gosh! You are already graduating? Wow!”

            “I can’t believe it either. These last four years have gone by so fast.”

            “Ok, everyone,” Riley said, ending Jade’s and Jasmine’s conversation. “We are going to pray and then we will eat.”

            I closed my eyes and bowed my head as a girl started praying.

            “Lord, I just want to thank you for the opportunity we get each week to be with friends while just learning about you. I thank you for the food we are about to eat and the hands that prepared it. Amen.”

            “All right, ladies first,” Riley called.

            All the girls stood up and started forming a line. I got in line right behind Ester and in front of a girl I didn’t know.

            “Are you new?” she asked.

            “I’m Taylor,” I said.

            “I’m Angie. I thought I had seen you around school sometimes.”

            I reached the front of the line so Angie and I quit talking.

            We were having tacos and it looked absolutely amazing. I quickly filled my plate and went back to the table.

            “Are you new to this area or new to his church?” Jasmine asked.

            “Just new to the church.” I didn’t want to tell her anything else. It wasn’t her business.

            Thankfully, we were all hungry and I wasn’t asked any more questions.

            “All right,” Riley said after everyone had finished eating. “We are going to break into groups now. We are going to talk about our most recent trip to the homeless shelter and where you feel God is leading you to serve in the future.”

            He started assigning leaders and one by one, people started joining their groups and leaving the room. I waited for Ester to choose a group and then followed her.       

            My group leader led us into the church. We moved the chairs so that they were all sitting in a circle.

            “Well, I think we should begin by introducing ourselves since I don’t know you,” the group leader said.

            “Troy,” the guy beside her said.

            “April,” said the next person.

            “Kasey.”

            “Ester.”

            “Taylor,” I said when it was my turn.

            “And I’m Liza,” the leader said. “All right, so let’s just go around and share what it was like for you to volunteer at the homeless shelter.”

            “Well, I know that we were definitely appreciated,” Troy began. “That made me feel really good.”

            “It definitely made me appreciate what I have,” Kasey said. “As Americans, I think that we are so greedy. We always want the newest gadgets. We want big expensive houses and cars. We want the best. But those people don’t even have the most basic of things. They don’t have food or a home.”

            I agreed with what Kasey had said. Being one of ‘those’ people had made me see how ungrateful people can be. And they have everything they need. It is just so frustrating when you see people in their big cars while you are freezing under a bridge with your stomach growling.

            “God has blessed us each in a different way,” Ester said. “So we may not all be able to help the same way, but we each can do our part with what we are given. We can actually give of our time, money, or even our homes.”

            My cheeks flushed because I knew Ester was talking about me. I knew no one in the group knew though. And I knew Ester wouldn’t say anything.

            “You would actually let someone live with you?” Troy asked in astonishment.

            “Why not? Sometimes someone just needs a little extra help getting back on their feet.”

            “That’s why there are shelters,” Troy said.

            “But that doesn’t mean that it’s right for everyone.”

            “Of course the shelter isn’t right for anyone,” Troy said. “It isn’t a proper home. But it’s the only alternative these people got.”

            I really wanted to join in and help Troy see all the mistakes he was making but I didn’t want people to know my story so I just had to be content with Ester fighting for me.

            “Everyone’s situation is different, Troy,” Ester said.

            “So name a time when a homeless shelter wouldn’t work for someone.”

            Ester was silent as she thought about what to say. I could see that she wanted to talk about me.

            “Exactly,” Troy said. “So while the shelter is not the most ideal living place, it will work for those who need it. And we will continue to volunteer there.”

            “Anyone else have suggestions about where we should volunteer?” Liza asked. I think she wanted to get away from Troy’s and Ester’s argument.

            Everyone was silent as they thought.

            “Why don’t we all pray and ask God where He needs us to serve?” Liza suggested as she adjourned.

 

Chapter 18

 

            “Would you like to speak to Riley?” Ester asked as we left the group.

            “I’m no Christian,” I protested.

            “But you want to be.”

            “But I don’t even know what to say.”

            “Just be yourself. Riley will be able to give you the words you need to hear and be praying for you in the meantime.”

            “Fine.”

            We went to Riley’s office. The door was open and he was sitting at his desk, reading a book.

            “Hi, girls. Do you need something?”

            Ester shot me an encouraging smile.

            “Do you have a minute?” I asked nervously.

            “I have all the time you need. Come on in.”

            “I will be waiting in the entrance,” Ester told me before she left.

            “So what’s up?” Riley asked. “How’s God been treating you?”

            “God has been absolutely wonderful.”

            “Care to share why?”

            “But I don’t even understand why. I mean, I don’t deserve anything. I have made so many stupid decisions. Why would God want to be nice to me?”

            “We don’t deserve forgiveness,” Riley said. “But He sent His Son to die for our sins anyway.”

            “So why are we baptized then? I thought that washed away our sins.”

            “Baptism is symbolic. It means that we have accepted the forgiveness God has given us. We have decided that we are ready to put aside our sinful lives and live for God.”

            “So I am supposed to be perfect after that?”

            “Of course not.” Riley was laughing but I was still not sure how I could live exactly how God had planned for me. I would surely mess up.

            “Sorry, I shouldn’t be laughing. See, I have given my life to God and I still sin. Nobody is perfect. The only difference between a Christian and a non-Christian is that they haven’t accepted God or His forgiveness.”

            “But what about people who really messed up? Can murderers be forgiven? Can gang members be forgiven?”

            “No sin is big or small according to God. They are all the same size.”

            “This is all so much to be taken in. I’ve only been introduced to God for a few weeks.”

            “If you don’t mind me asking, who is doing the introducing?”

            “Jade, Ester, and her family.”

            “Ah, so you have gotten to know the Pirezes? They are a great family.”

            “I know. I look at them as my family. I only wish God had brought me to them sooner.”

            “God has His reasons.”

            “I know. I’m still trying to figure them out though.”

            “What do you mean?”

            “Well, I wish that I had been a Christian my whole life. I wish that I was ready to give my life to God right now. But instead, I had to get involved in a gang, then I had to get pregnant and kicked out of the house, and then I had to be homeless for a year before learning more about God.”

            “That’s your story?” Riley asked incredulously.

            “A short summary.”

            “You aren’t homeless now, are you?”

            “No, that’s how come I met the Pirezes. I got cut on something and Ester took me to see her dad, who then offered me a home.”

            “God has reasons,” Riley said with a smile.

            “But why am I not ready to give my life to God? I have been through all this stuff and I know it is for a reason, so why am I not ready?”

            “Sometimes it takes time, Taylor. Some people have known about the Christian religion for years before they actually make the decision to give their life to God. You have only known about Christianity for a few weeks.”

            “How long did it take you to come to know God?”

            “Quite a few years. Like you, I made some stupid decisions. It wasn’t until I had turned my life around did I realize that I needed God.”

            “Someday, it will be me in that big bathtub being baptized,” I vowed.

            “I will be praying for you,” Riley promised.         

 

Chapter 19

 

            “Taylor Virotchi, please report to the office,” a voice said over the loudspeaker in between classes Monday morning.

            “What did I do this time?” I complained to Jade.

            “Maybe you didn’t do anything. Sometimes you get called to the office so that they can give you something.”

            “You better be right,” I said as we reached the office.

            I opened the door and found Dr. and Mrs. Pirez sitting in the chairs across from the counter. Mrs. Pirez looked like she had been crying and Dr. Pirez looked worried.

            I would have thought someone had died but I wasn’t close to anyone but the Pirezes. If it was a family thing, than they would have involved Ester, not me.

            “What’s going on?” I asked.

            “Taylor, do you know a Tyranny Virotchi?” Dr. Pirez asked.

            “Yeah, that’s my sister,” I replied. I didn’t know how he knew my sister’s name because I had never mentioned her.

            “Your sister is in the hospital,” Dr. Pirez said slowly. “She is dying and she has been asking for you.”

            “What’s wrong with her?” Tears were flooding my eyes. “Can I see her?”

            “That’s why we are here,” Mrs. Pirez said.

            I got signed out of school and the next thing I know, we are on a bus to the hospital.

            We were silent on the way there. Dr. Pirez had his hand on my shoulder and Mrs. Pirez was holding my hand.

            We got off the bus and Dr. Pirez gently led me inside and up to Tyranny’s room.

            “We will be down the hall if you need us,” Dr. Pirez said.

            I walked hesitantly into my sister’s room. Tyranny and I had never been close. We were like polar opposites. And I hadn’t even seen her since I got kicked out of the house. That’s why I was surprised that she wanted to see me. I was also afraid of seeing my parents.

            “Hi,” I said quietly as I entered the room.

            “I’m so glad you are here!” Tyranny said excitedly as she held out her arms for a hug. “When the doctor said he knew where you were I thought he way lying. How in the world did he know where to find you?”

            I looked around the room and saw that Tyranny was alone. She looked just fine except for the heart monitor and the IV. Maybe this wouldn’t be that bad.

            “I have been living with him,” I finally said.

            “Really? For how long? How did you meet him?”

            “I became friends with his daughter,” I said firmly. I knew that Tyranny thought I was dating Dr. Pirez. “I got hurt one day and Ester brought me to her house so her dad could help me and I ended up staying there.”

            “Weird coincidence then that we would meet up through him.”

            “God’s work,” I replied.

            “Since when do you care about religion?”

            “I’m a changed person!”

            “I suppose you are one of those born-again people?”

            “Not yet. But I will be! And what about you? I hear you are dying. Shouldn’t you be concerned about where you are going after you die?”

            “Why should I?” It isn’t like God has ever been there for me.”

            “Why are you here?”

            “I’m no doctor. I don’t understand all the basics. All I know is that I only have a couple of days left.”

            “And your last wish is to see me? Where are mom and dad?” The words felt strange on my tongue.

            “Actually, yes. I haven’t seen you in over a year. There is so much that I don’t know about you. Like, where is my supposed niece or nephew.” She didn’t answer my question about our parents but I guess I really didn’t care where my parents were.

            “She is at the babysitter. But look, this shouldn’t be about me. You are dying! You need to accept Jesus!”

            “And what is that supposed to mean?”

            “You have to believe that Jesus is your Savior who died for your sins and give your life to Him!”

            “How can I do that when God has done nothing in my life?”

            “I have asked the same question! But I know now that He has been working in my life.”

            “How so?”

            It didn’t sound like Tyranny really believed me but I had to do my best to save her soul.

            “He gave me Lindsey,” I said. “And even though I have made some bad decisions in my life, I wouldn’t have turned my life around and started following religion if it hadn’t been for her. I would still be dating Andrew and running around on the streets making stupid decisions.

            “I only got introduced to church because of the friends I met.”

            “How do you expect me to become a Christian in only a couple of days? According to you, you aren’t even a born-again, whatever that means.”

            “I may not have many answers, but I know someone who does. I’m sure that Dr. Pirez or Pastor Riley could answer your questions.”      

            “Don’t bother, Taylor,” Tyranny said as she turned over and lay down on her side. “Just go and leave me to die in peace.”

            “Would you at least listen to someone who has answers?”

            “No, so don’t bother bringing someone in here.”

            “This isn’t over! I will come back.”

            Just then the monitor started beeping loud and fast and doctors rushed into the room. I watched in horror as they did everything they could for Tyranny. A few minutes later, it was all over. My sister had died.

 

Chapter 20

 

            The next thing I know, Dr. Pirez is behind me and leading me out of the room. He led me to a small room with chairs and sat me down next to his wife.

            “Are you all right?” he asked.

            I didn’t know what to feel. My sister had just died. But I had never been close to her. Was I supposed to feel sad? The tears just wouldn’t come so I guess not.

            I saw Mrs. Pirez glance at her husband, unsure about what to do. She grabbed my hand and Dr. Pirez started gently rubbing my back. I guess they were both waiting for the tears.

            “You don’t have to say anything,” Dr. Pirez said gently. “You can talk when you are ready.”

            I sat in silence for awhile as I tried to process my thoughts. Apparently I wasn’t sad since I didn’t burst into tears after she died. In fact, I was more upset that she hadn’t given her life to God before she died.

            What if I died? Where would I go? I could go at anytime! Tyranny just proved that it can be totally unexpected. I needed to accept the forgiveness Jesus gave me right now! I needed to give my life to God!

            “I need to see Riley!” I told the Pirezes.

            “Riley?”

            “Yes! I am ready to give my life to God right now!”

            “Taylor, are you sure that you are all right?” Dr. Pirez asked in concern.

            “Yes.”

            “Taylor, you have just been through a lot. You need time to process what is happening.”

            “Are you questioning my ability to think? Are you saying that I am not capable of making such a huge decision?” This was the first time I had ever snapped or shown  anger towards the Pirezes and I think that they were taken by surprise.

            “No, we’ll get Riley here if we can.”

            And a few minutes later, Riley was sitting in the little room right across from me, with the Pirezes on either side.

            “So what is going on?” Riley asked. “Are you sure you are all right? What led to this decision?”

            “My sister and I have never been close,” I explain. “We both belonged to two different worlds. I haven’t even seen her for over a year; not since I got kicked out of my parents’ house.

            “Today, when I sat my sister, I told her that she should accept God, but she told me to leave the room. She died right after that.

            “My sister may have been too late, but I’m not going to make the same mistake. I want forgiveness for all the stupid things I have done. God has plans for me, and even though I don’t know what they may be, I’m the Lord’s, and I am going to do whatever He asks.”

            “Shall we pray?” Riley asked.

            “Yes!” I said eagerly as I bowed my head, folded my hands and closed my eyes.

            “Lord, I just thank You for Taylor and her decision to become part of Your family. Lord, she has been through a lot today as well as throughout her entire life and I just ask that You heal her and help her to live according to Your plans. In Your Name, Amen.

            “Amen,” the Pirezes and I said together.

            “So how soon can I be baptized?” I asked.

            “As soon as you want!”

            “Sunday work?”

            “Works just fine!”

            “All right!”

            “Congratulations and welcome to the family!” He stood up and gave me a hug.

            “See you Sunday,” the Pirezes said as Riley prepared to leave.

            “See you Sunday.”

            “We are very excited for you,” Dr. Pirez said.

            “Very,” Mrs. Pirez agreed.

            “Are you going to need to talk to any family members before we leave?” Dr. Pirez asked.

            “Why would I?”

            “So you know about the funeral arrangements.”

            “No, I would not be welcome at the funeral. My parents kicked me out of the house, out of the family. They knew they would never see me again.”

            “Maybe they have had a change in heart.”

            “They shouldn’t have kicked me out of the house then. I don’t care what they think. I look at you guys as my parents. I don’t need anyone that is related to me by blood.”

            “And we think of you as our daughter,” Mrs. Pirez said as she gave me a big hug and then put her arm around my shoulder and led me out of the hospital.

Chapter 21

 

            “Where were you yesterday?” Jade asked the next morning at our little Bible study group. Even though we only have the Bible study on Wednesdays, we have been meeting every morning before school just to hang out.

            “My sister was in the hospital,” I replied.

            “I didn’t know you had a sister,” Jade said. She knew I was homeless because she was there the day that I got hurt but I hadn’t told her any information since than.

            “What is wrong with her?” Emerald asked.

            Ester shot me a concerned look. She had heard everything that had happened yesterday with my sister and then giving my life to God. I could read in her eyes that she was worried about how I would answer. Emerald and Trisha didn’t know about my past and nobody but Ester and her family knew about what happened yesterday.

            “She didn’t tell me,” I finally answered.

            “Should we pray for her?” Trisha asked.

            “I don’t think it will do any good. She died.”

            “She died yesterday?”

            “Taylor, I’m so sorry.”

            “Are you all right?”

            “I’m fine.”

            “What are you doing in school? Shouldn’t you take some time off?”

            “I’ll be fine. My sister and I were never close. In fact, she was telling me to get out of the room right before she died.”

            “Then I’m sorry you never had a good relationship with your sister,” Trisha said. “Do you have any brothers and sisters? Are you close to the rest of your family?”

            “No to both of those questions. But it doesn’t matter to me. I’m about to join the most important family of all on Sunday.”

            “Ester’s family is adopting you?” Jade blurted out.

            So much for my secret life.

            “No, silly, she is being baptized!” Emerald exclaimed. She threw her arms around me and gave me a big hug.

            “That’s great!”

            “Congratulations!” Jade said.

            “Do you really think Ester’s family is the best family ever, Jade?” Trisha asked with a laugh. I guess she hadn’t understood what Jade had said.

            “They are pretty great,” Jade admitted.

            “I guess that is true. Well, I need to go inside and practice some music. Do you want to join me, Emerald?”

            “Sure. See you guys later.”

            “See you.”

            “Thanks so much for keeping my secret,” I told Jade after they had gone inside.

            “I don’t know why you are thanking me. I pretty much just told them everything.”

            “But you covered it up pretty well. And for that I thank you.”

            “I really am happy for you, Taylor.”

            “And I am too,” Ester said.

            “This is the best decision you will ever make. Sunday will be the greatest day for you.”

            “You’ll only wish you could have made it sooner,” Ester said.

            “I’m already wishing I could have made it sooner.”

            “You couldn’t help it though. You had a difficult past.”

            Her words reminded me of that Bible verse that was highlighted in Philippians. I had never asked why that one verse was highlighted.

            “One question. Why did you mark Philippians three verses thirteen and fourteen in my Bible?”

            “That verse has always meant something to me and I felt led to mark that verse for you.”

            “You didn’t even know about my past at that time.”

            “I just had a feeling that your past was holding you back.”

            “You were right.”

            “It was God’s work.”

            “He is amazing!”

            “Couldn’t agree more.”

            “We should probably head inside,” Ester said with a quick look at the time.

            We didn’t really want to stop talking about how wonderful God is but we didn’t want to be late so we reluctantly headed inside.

 

Chapter 22

 

            Sunday seemed like a lifetime away. Especially since the Pirezes kept asking me how I was doing. But I had put my sister behind me and focused my energy on things that were important to me. And finally, the big day arrived.

            “How are you feeling?” Dr. Pirez asked after he had woken up me and Ester Sunday morning.

            “For the last time, I am fine,” I said irritably.

            “I meant are you ready for church this morning? Are you excited or nervous?”

            “Of course I am excited,” I said with a change in attitude. “Why should I be nervous? This is one of the most important moments of my life.”

            “Well, you had better get going then. We don’t want to be late.”

            I quickly pulled on my new pink top and the black pants that Mrs. Pirez had gotten me for this special occasion. Then I grabbed the shorts and t-shirt that Ester was loaning me to be baptized in before heading down to the kitchen for a quick bite of breakfast.

            Since we were running behind this morning, Mrs. Pirez had gotten Lindsey up and dressed. After she had put a plate of pancakes in front of me, she also handed me Lindsey and a bottle to feed her while I also ate.

            When we finally arrived at the church, we were greeted at the door and given bulletins.

            “Are you ready?” Riley asked when he saw me.

            “Never been more ready for anything in my life.”

            “I was wondering if you would like to share your story with everyone before you are baptized.”

            “My story?”

            “Yeah, just a short summary of your past and how God became a part of your life and how He is working now.”

            I wasn’t sure that I wanted everyone to know. I had managed to keep it a secret at school. People would treat me differently if they knew.

            “Are you sure everyone will be as understanding as you and the Pirezes?” I asked. “I made some stupid decisions.”

            “We were all sinners. Not one of us would be allowed in Heaven if it hadn’t been for Jesus. You aren’t the only one that has had a rough start.”

            I considered what Riley was telling me. I felt God was leading me to tell my story, despite my nervousness. God had been so good to me. I couldn’t say no to God.

            “Well, if you are sure that people will be open to what I have to say, than I will do it.”

            “It might also open people’s eyes to what street life is really like.”

            “What do you mean?”

            “We all know that homelessness is far from pleasant. A lot of people here volunteer at the shelter quite often. But sometimes people don’t realize what it is truly like. You really can’t if you haven’t experienced it first hand, like yourself. You can open their eyes and help them see how they can help.”

            “I guess that is true Often people at the shelter feel like they understand me and I know they don’t because they have never been on the streets when it is cold and your stomach is growling.”

            “You agree that there is always more that people can do?”

            “Most definitely.”

            “Share your story and your experience,” Riley said as he headed into the sanctuary.

            I carried Lindsey into the sanctuary and sat down in the spot that the Pirezes had saved for me.

            I had trouble paying attention during the service because I was too excited. But after a few songs and a sermon about loving your neighbor, Riley was gesturing me to come up front.
            “I met Taylor Virotchi only last week,” Riley began, “and I must say that she has the most amazing story, which she has agreed to share with you. I hope you will all find her story just as inspiring as I do.”    

            “Hello,” I said after Riley had turned the microphone over to me. “I just want to start by thanking Jade, Ester, Dr. and Mrs. Pirez, and Riley, because I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for them. So I just give all of you a huge thank you.”

            Everyone started applauding and I waited for it to end before continuing.

            “I guess my story starts at a young age. My parents had me when they were still teenagers and really didn’t care what I did. So that’s exactly what I did. I got involved with the wrong people and turned to illegal substances.

            “By the time I was fifteen, I realized that I was pregnant. Abortion was the only thought I had. But when I arrived at the clinic, I was told that I had to think about it for so many hours.

            “During that wait time, I realized I wanted to keep the baby, much to the dismay of my parents. They responded to the news by kicking me out of the house.

            “I ended up giving up everything for this child. I gave up my old, sinful lifestyle of gangs and illegal substances and my friends. I gave up the security my parents gave me. I traded these things for a minimum wage job at a restaurant and a home under the bridge.

            “Life didn’t get any better after Lindsey was born. Even though I don’t regret having her, because she is a gift from God, it still hasn’t been easy raising my daughter on the street. We were constantly cold and hungry. The money I earned didn’t stretch as far as before. I also didn’t have much time to spend with my daughter because I was at school and work.

            “It’s thanks to Ester and the Pirezes that I now have a place to stay. They introduced me to God and showed me what it truly means to live as a Christian. They didn’t have to take care of me or give me a home, but they did.

            “This week, I watched my sister die. Even though I wasn’t close to her, I watched her die without giving her life to God. And I decided that I wasn’t going to let that happen to me. So here I am!”

            There was more applause and then Riley took back the microphone.

            “I have only one question for you. Do you accept Jesus as your Savior?” he asked me.

            “Yes!”

            Riley then led me through some side doors and into a small room so that I could get changed into my shorts and t-shirt.

            The next thing I know, Riley is leading me down a couple of stairs and into the big tub. Then, he ducks me under.

            I was baptized!         

 

Chapter 23

 

            “Congratulations!” someone said behind me.

            I turned around to see a guy wearing nice jeans and a light blue shirt. I knew the guy, but it took me a minute to recognize him because he had changed his appearance quite a bit since the last time I had seen him. I was also having trouble picturing him in a church. But even I wouldn’t forget what Lindsey’s dad looked like.

            “What are you doing here?” I asked loudly in outrage.

            The people close by to me all went quiet and looked my way and Dr. Pirez stopped his conversation and started heading towards me.

            “I think we need to talk,” Andrew said calmly. He reached for my arm.

            “Don’t touch me!” I said loudly.

            “Please, Taylor. Just talk to me. In private.”

            “Why should I go with you?”

            “I think you owe me some explanations.”

            “I don’t owe you anything!”

            “Is everything all right?” Dr. Pirez asked as he approached us.         

            Andrew shot me a look that told me not to say anything.

            “Just fine,” I lied. I still needed to figure out what Andrew was doing here.

            “Then maybe you should think about keeping your voices down,” Dr. Pirez suggested.

            “We will do that, sir,” Andrew said. “We were just going to talk in the meeting room.”

            Sir? What was with him?

            I hesitantly followed Andrew into the room, holding Lindsey tightly to my chest. I knew I would be ok because people were still talking in the entrance and could see us but I still didn’t trust Andrew.

            Andrew led me to a table and pulled out a chair for me. I sat down and he followed suit.

            “So, when were you planning on telling me about her?” Andrew asked.

            “Um, never.”

            “I know that I’m the father, Taylor,” he said sarcastically. “You might as well start telling me the truth. So why are you hiding her from me? Why did you run away?”

            “Because I didn’t want her to grow up living your kind of life.”

            “And you had no faith in me that I could change?” Andrew looked hurt.

            “It doesn’t look like it, does it?”

            “Well, it looks like I have proven you wrong.”

            “What are you talking about? You have proven nothing to me!”

            Andrew gestured to his appearance. “Does this mean nothing to you?”

            “Just get to the point, Andrew.”

            “As long as you tell me what has been going on for the last year.”

            “You first.”

            “Fine. I knew that the reason you were staying with Mandie was because you had been kicked out of your house. I thought that was odd because your parents knew about the things you did and didn’t seem to care. When Mandie told me you had left without telling her, I figured you were trying to run away from something. I just didn’t know what.

            “I saw your sister one day and decided to ask her what was going on. She told me that you were pregnant.

            “I knew that it was my child. I wanted to find you so that I could tell you to have an abortion. But as weeks went on and I couldn’t find you, I slowly became attached to a child that I knew was mine.

            “I slowly started changing my life around. I was going to find you someday and when I did, I was going to be a good dad for this kid.”

            “How do I know you have truly changed?” I asked doubtfully.

            “Have you ever seen me in church?”

            “Definitely not.”

            “I gave my life to God a couple of months ago, Taylor, and haven’t been the same since.”

            I was slowly starting to believe that he was changed.

            “What about you?”

            “Well, when I left Mandie’s, I moved under a bridge and went to school during the day while working at night.”

            “Why did I never see you at school?” Andrew interrupted.

            “I switched schools so that you couldn’t find me.”

            “Oh.”

            “I had to take some time off once the baby was born but then I switched to yet another new school. When I got hurt, my friend took me to see her dad, who is a doctor, and he gave me a place to stay.”

            “Taylor, I want to be there for this baby. Once I found out that you were pregnant, I found a job and set aside money each month to support you and the baby.”

            So much was coming at me at once. I never thought of Andrew as a good person, let alone a good father. Now, I wasn’t sure what to believe.

            “Just trust me,” Andrew pleaded as he reached into his pocket and then handed me something.

            I looked in my hand and saw AA chips. Andrew was working on being sober!

            I slowly held out Lindsey and let Andrew take her from my arms. Tears flooded my eyes and I remembered the dream I had of a perfect family. Suddenly, I knew that Lindsey’s life was far from perfect, but at least she had a loving father and mother.

            Dr. Pirez came into the room and looked from Andrew to me. “Taylor, what is going on? Who is this?”

            “This is Andrew, Lindsey’s father.”

            Dr. Pirez remembered all the things I had told him about Andrew, but thankfully he kept quiet and accepted that something had happened before he came into the room.

 

Epilogue

 

            I didn’t know what God had planned for me before, and I most certainly didn’t have a clue now that Andrew was back in my life. But maybe that was ok. I knew I would be used for His plans and I just needed to be patient. And in the meantime, I would only look forward instead of back. And if Andrew felt the same way, then we could go on together. But the only things that I am certain of right now are that I am a Christian and I am going to raise Lindsey as a Christian too!