Letters from Mom

Tory has just found out that she was adopted. Her mom left her a book of letters to read. Will Tory ever be able to find her real mom?

Chapter 1

 

            “How was school today?” my mom asked as I came through the door.

            Why do parents even ask a question like that? What kind of answer are they expecting; what you learned during the history lecture?

            “It was fine,” I responded. “I am going to need you and Dad to help me tonight with a homework assignment.”

            “What does it involve?”

            “I have to identify whether you have certain genetic traits. You know; whether you have the recessive or dominant gene and what I ended up with.”

            I personally was pretty excited for the assignment. I really didn’t look a lot like my mom, dad, or sister. I have darker skin and hair and am kind of short while they are all blond, blue eyed, and tall. Maybe this assignment would show that I have more in common with my parents than I actually thought.

            “That should like an interesting assignment. What do the students who don’t live with both their parents have to do?”

            “They just have to do one parent.”

            “Are any of the students in your class adopted?”

            “No, so that isn’t a problem.”

            “We will do this as soon as your dad gets home.”

            “Ok, I will be in my room doing math.”

            I went into my room and plopped down on my bed. I have heard before that you shouldn’t do your homework where you sleep but my room helps me focus. There is little noise here.

            I was so involved in my homework that I was startled by a knock on my door.

            “Come in,” I called.

            My mom and dad pushed open the door. They each had a serious expression on their faces and my mom was holding a thick black binder.

            “Are you ready to help me with my biology homework?” I asked.

            “Tory, there is something we need to talk about first,” my mom said.

            “What is going on?” I asked as I sat up.

            My mom sat down on the edge of my bed and my dad took a seat at my desk.

            “Honey, there is something we should have told you a long time ago,” my mom said. She looked close to tears.

            “Then why haven’t you?” I asked. I was still clueless as to what was going on.

            “I guess we figured the opportunity would present itself,” my dad said. “I mean, almost every kid at some point in their life asks, and we thought you would too. I guess we were worried how you would take the news.”

            “What news?” I was starting to get irritated with them.

            “Honey,” my mom began, “your dad and I always wanted kids but we had no idea how difficult it would be for us. The doctor finally told us that we would probably never be able to have kids on our own. That’s when we started looking into other options.”

            My brain was putting the pieces of the puzzle together. Suddenly, some things were starting to make sense. I waited for my mom to say the words though.

            “We had just agreed to adopt you when we found out that we were pregnant with your sister. We decided to go ahead with the adoption. We knew that you would be about a year older than Kayla.”

            Tears started streaming down my mom’s face.

            Questions were forming rapidly in my head. I wanted to know who my real mom and dad were. I wanted to know why they gave me up for adoption.

            “Did you meet my mom?” I asked at last.

            “We did,” my dad said. “She wanted you to know about her, so she left you this book of letters.”

            My mom handed over the notebook. I flipped through the pages. They all were filled with neat handwriting. I couldn’t wait for my parents to leave so that I could start reading.

            “We probably won’t be much help on your assignment,” my mom said. “If you want, we can write a letter to your teacher.”

            “That will be fine.”

            “Let us know if you want to talk,” my dad said.

            “I will.”

            They left the room and I was suddenly left with this huge binder. This was just as exciting as the new Harry Potter book.

 

Dear Tory (I hope you are a girl otherwise this will be a little weird),

            I found out that I was pregnant with you today. I know you probably want to know a lot about me, but I want to start with what happened.

            See, I fell in love with Steve during my sophomore year. We were madly in love and thought we were meant to be. Getting pregnant wasn’t part of our plans though.

            We both decided that the best solution to our problem was to have an abortion. I mean, we are both in high school. We don’t want to give up our lives to raise a baby.

            Afterwards, I regretted what I did. I cried for days but it was too late. I couldn’t bring the baby back.

            Being stupid teenagers, we thought that it couldn’t happen again. Obviously though, it can.

            I have decided I am keeping you though. I couldn’t live through the pain of another abortion. It isn’t going to be easy. I mean, I am a senior in high school. That is why I am going to give you up for adoption. It will be better for both of us.

            I hope you don’t think badly of me for what I did in the past or for giving you up. I also hope that you learn from my mistakes.

            Love,

            Mom

 

            After I finished the first letter, I stopped for reflection. I had watched other girls at school struggle to raise a baby. I knew why my mom had gone through the abortion. I was glad she had decided to keep me. I just wish she hadn’t decided to give me up. I wanted to know my mom.

            “Why is Mom crying?” my sister Kayla asked as she came in and put her volleyball things on the floor.

            “She just told me that I am adopted.”

            “Seriously? I always figured you were adopted.”

            “How come it was so obvious to you?” Even I had been oblivious to everything.

            “Well, you don’t look like anyone in the family. Your sin is darker and your hair isn’t blond. Also, you are much shorter than everyone else. And then, everyone in the family is athletic except you.”

            I felt stupid for not noticing the signs.

            “And have you ever looked in the family photo album?” Kayla continued. “There are pictures of mom about the time she should have been pregnant with you. She doesn’t look at all pregnant like she did in the photos when she was pregnant with me.”

            “That’s enough, Kayla. Please leave me alone so I can process what I have just learned.”

 

Chapter 2

 

            “What are you readying, Tory?” my friend Kristina asked at lunch.

            I had brought my mom’s letters to school and I had been reading them whenever I had a chance. Now that it was finally lunch, I had an opportunity to sit down and really read. My friends didn’t like how I was ignoring them. I decided I should give them an explanation.

            “These are letters from my mom,” I began.

            “Why would your mom write you letters?” Margo asked with a laugh. “It’s not like you don’t see your mom everyday.”

            “It turns out I am adopted.”

            “I always wondered about you,” April said. “You don’t look like your family.”

            Everyone knew I was adopted except me!

            “So did you just find out yesterday?” Margo asked. “Why did your parents wait so long to tell you?”

            “Because of the biology assignment, they decided I needed to know.”

            “Do you think they were planning on ever telling you?”

            “I think they figured I would ask. A lot of kids think they are adopted at some point.”

            “So what is this humongous binder you keep reading?”

            “My real mom wrote me letters when she found out she was pregnant.”

            “She must really like to write.”

            I ignored my friends and started reading the next letter.

 

Dear Tory,

            I am going to tell you a little about me and my family.

            My mom is from Columbia. She is very beautiful. She has dark hair and skin. I hope you look a lot like her. She talks a lot about life in Columbia and still observes many of the traditions. That is one thing I wish you would be able to have with your adoptive parents. Unfortunately, I don’t know anyone who is Columbian.

            My dad is Caucasian. He looks very dark from all the afternoons on the golf course. He is very friendly and cares about everyone.

            Both my parents work at the hospital. They are both doctors. They both have high expectations for me as well. I am going to be the valedictorian of my class. I don’t know exactly what I want to do with my life but I will probably go into the health care field.

            That is why it would be difficult for me to keep you. My parents are supportive of my decision to give you life but they definitely want me to give you up for adoption.

            I also have two sisters that look just like me (short and dark). Carmen is a sophomore in college. She is studying premed. My younger sister is named Lorena. She is a junior in high school. She is very talented on the violin. I can see her having a future in music.

            I know you are probably wondering about your dad as well. Steve is short. He is very bright and has an interest in science. We both belong to the drama club (that is how we met).

            I can’t tell you a lot about Steve’s parents. They are pretty ordinary people. They are strong Christians though so that is why they can’t know about you. Once you start showing though, it will be easy for them to see that I am carrying Steve’s baby.

            You really would fit in perfectly with my family, Tory. If only I had waited until I was older to have you. I still love you anyway.

            Mom

 

            “Are we going to have to take that notebook away?” April asked, bringing my thoughts back to lunch.

            “What do you want?” I asked irritably. I wanted to spend time with my mom.

            “The bell rang. We need to get to Spanish.”

            “Fine.” I reluctantly gathered up my things and then headed off to Spanish class.

 

Chapter 3

 

            Señora Garcia asked her usual greeting in Spanish to begin class and then started rambling on about her night in Spanish. I could understand almost everything she was saying since Señora Garcia was from Puerto Rico and had mostly spoken in Spanish to us for the last two years.

            Today, I really didn’t care about Spanish. I cared more about my mom. I wanted to find her.

            As the rest of the class pulled out their notebooks, I got out mine too. I wasn’t going to take notes on the Spanish language though. I was going to take notes on what I knew about my biological family.

 

Mom

-Columbian

-Darker skin

-Valedictorian

-Short

-Drama club

 

Dad

-Christian

-Short

-Drama club

-Smart

 

            I didn’t have a lot of go on but I figured I would probably learn more as I continued to read my mom’s letters. The more I learned, the easier it would be to locate my family. Hopefully my mom would let some names slip. That would make the process so much easier.

            I couldn’t wait to get home so that I could read more!

 

Chapter 4

 

            I decided that I was going to ask my parents about my birth mom. I knew I would have to ask carefully though because this was apparently a sensitive issue for my mom.

            “Mom,” I asked when she got home, “I have a question for you.”

            “What is it?” she asked as she got a bottle of water out of the fridge. She sat down at the table.

            “I wanted to know if I looked like my birth mom.”

            “I guess you do,” she said as she started flipping through the mail.

            “Do you think I have anything else in common with her?”

            “Tory, I don’t know.” My mom seemed a little impatient now. “I met your mother three times and it was only briefly. Anything that she wanted you to know she put it in her letters.”

            “How did you find out my mom was looking into adoption?”

            “There was an ad in the paper so your dad and I called her. She came over here and toured the house and asked us a few questions. Then we saw her one other time before we got you. The end.”

            I could tell my mom was done answering questions about my adoption. I would just have to wait until Dad got home. Hopefully he would be more willing to talk.

            “Dad,” I said once he had taken a seat in the living room, “I was wondering if you thought I looked like my birth mother.”

            “Well, you certainly don’t look like anyone in this house,” he said with a laugh.   

            “Dad, I am being serious. Do you think I look like her?”

            “Maybe you do. It has been fifteen years since I saw her.”

            I was getting nowhere with this.

            “Do you think I have anything in common with my mom?”     

            “How would I know? I barely knew her.”

            I was getting the impression that my dad didn’t want to tell me anything either.

            “Tory, I know you are interested in your birth mom but I suggest that you satisfy your interest with your letters. Those are the only answers you are going to get.”

            Angry, I went up to my room and pulled the book of letters out of my backpack.

           

Dear Tory,      

            I found out today that I am going to play the female lead in Brigadoon and that Steve is going to play the male lead. We are both really excited.

            We both have had parts in the musical before but never the lead. We both really like to sing so it will be a lot of fun.

            I really hope you are blessed with a good singing voice too. You have two parents that can sing so hopefully the odds will be in your favor.

            Well, Tory, I really need to go. I have musical practice tonight and I would hate to be late.

            Love,  

            Mom

 

            That is something I have in common with my mom. I am also playing the female lead in Brigadoon! What a coincidence. I felt like I had a special connection with the mom I barely knew.

            I hoped that I would continue discovering new clues in the letters that would help me find her. Then, my mom could come watch me perform. And afterwards, we would catch up on each other’s lives.

 

Chapter 5

 

            Friday night, I was invited to Kristina’s house for a slumber party. I really didn’t want to go though. Even though all my friends would be there, I really wanted to spend the weekend reading my mom’s letters. I also didn’t want to hurt Kristina’s feelings so I decided to bring the letters along. Maybe I could read them while everyone else was watching a movie.

            “Wow, Tory,” Margo said when I arrived, “I didn’t know it was possible for you to be separated from your mom’s letters.”

            I threw my pillow at her.

            “You would act the same way if you were me,” I told her.

            “Are you sure, Tory?” Bailey Lynn asked as she came into the room. “If I suddenly found out that my mom had some letters for me, I would burn them.”

            “What is your big preoccupation with your mom about?” April asked.

            “You wouldn’t understand.” I was hurt from the comments my friends were making. Maybe I should have just stayed at home and read my mom’s letters.

            “But I am adopted,” Bailey Lynn said. “So why don’t you try me?”     

            Bailey Lynn has always been very vocal about being adopted. Of course, she came from Vietnam and looks very different from her adoptive parents.

            “I just want to know who my mom is. I want to know what we have in common. Maybe someday I can meet my mom.”

            “And how will your adoptive mom feel about that?” Kristina asked. “Won’t she feel hurt?”

            “Maybe. But isn’t it every adoptive kid’s desire to find their real parents?”

            “Not mine,” Bailey Lynn said.

            “Aren’t you the slightest bit curious?” I asked.

            “Not at all. My parents clearly didn’t want me. I am thankful to my adoptive parents for taking me in. In my eyes, they are my real parents.”

            “Do you know why you were put up for adoption?” I asked.

            “No, and I don’t want to know.”

            “Well, I do know why I was put up for adoption. And I’m sure my mom would have kept me if the situation had been different.”

            “Why don’t you enlighten us?” Bailey Lynn asked dryly.

            “She was in high school and didn’t feel that she could raise me.”

            “That or she didn’t want to give up her personal life for you,” Bailey Lynn said.

            “You don’t know that, Bailey Lynn,” April said. “Maybe her parents weren’t supportive and so her mom couldn’t afford to take care of a baby. Maybe she put up Tory for adoption out of love.”

            “See,” I said.

            “Whatever, Tory. I still think you should give up this obsession. Your parents chose you. They should be the only parents you have allegiance to.”

            “Ok, who’s ready for a movie?” Kristina asked.

            Everyone spread out on the floor as Kristina put the movie on. I pulled out my mom’s letters. I didn’t care what my friends said. I wanted to know about the woman who gave me life.

 

Dear Tory,

            It isn’t easy being a pregnant teenager. Everyone’s very quick to judge. They don’t realize that I very easily could have decided to have an abortion. They don’t see it that way.

            Even my friends are being cruel. Just last week, Karen told me that I should drop out of the musical because I am starting to show. I won’t be that big for the performance. She just wants me to drop out because she is my understudy.

            But then last weekend, I wasn’t invited to Lena’s slumber party. She invited my entire group of friends, except for me. It’s like I don’t fit in anymore. Nothing is really different right now though. Things would be different if I had a baby to take care of.

            I don’t regret keeping you, Tory, but I had no idea how difficult it would be. I just wish people would be more supportive. I feel like you are the only one I can really count on.

            I love you, Tory.

            Mom

 

            After I finished the letter, I pushed my notebook aside. I felt really bad for my mom. I can’t imagine all that she endured so that she could give me life. And then she handed me over to my parents and never got to watch me grow up. When I found my mom, I would let her know that I was grateful for all that she had gone through for me.

            “Learn anything exciting?” Bailey Lynn asked when she saw that I was no longer reading.

            “My mom faced a lot of rejection and scorn for being a pregnant teenager,” I said.

            “I could never imagine being pregnant in high school,” Kristina said.

            “I wouldn’t have to imagine it,” Margo said, “because my parents would kill me.”

            “You should have those letters published, Tory. Then, any teenager who thinks about getting pregnant in high school will think twice.”

            “I will pass. These letters are just between my mom and me.”

            The other girls went back to their movie but I was ready for more letters. I wanted to know more about my mom.

 

Chapter 6

 

            I read most of the weekend. I read more Monday afterschool.

 

Dear Tory,

            I met the people who are going to be your parents today; Kent and Melissa or known to you as Mom and Dad. You are going to love them, Tory. They have a small but nice house and I can see that you will always have everything you will need.

            Kent and Melissa have always wanted kids but are unable to have them on their own. I know because of that they will raise you like their own daughter. I feel glad that I chose to keep you. People like Kent and Melissa deserve to have a child like you.

            Tory, this is probably hard for you to read. You are probably asking how someone could voluntarily give up their child. You are probably wondering why I can do this so calmly. This isn’t easy on me, Tory, but I think this is better for both me and you. I know that I will have no regrets in the end.

 

            Love,  

            Mom

 

            Dear Tory,

            Your parents invited me over to their house today. I was very confused because even though they are very nice people, I do not want to have any relationship with them that isn’t business related due to the situation.

            It turns out your parents are pregnant. They were worried that I wouldn’t want them to have you. They still want you as a daughter.  I am still willing to give you to them. It will be good for you to have a little brother or sister. Who knows if Melissa and Kent will be able to have another child on their own?

            I am glad that they were honest with me. They are very good people, Tory. You are the luckiest girl in the world. You are going to have loving parents that chose you for a daughter.

            Love,

            Mom

 

             I was a little hurt by what my mom had said. She made it sound like she didn’t love me. How could she not love me? I was her daughter for goodness sakes. I understood that she gave me up because she was only a teenager but if she had been a few years older, things would be different.

            Suddenly, my phone rang, distracting me from my thoughts.

            “Where are you?” a loud voice said.

            It was April.

            I looked at my clock and gulped. I was supposed to have been to musical practice an hour ago. Earlier if you count that I was supposed to be in costume and make up an hour ago.

            “I completely forgot track of time. I will be there in five minutes.”

            “Don’t bother, Tory. It is a little hard to have rehearsal when the lead isn’t here. Mr. Cooper is just working with some of the other parts on their music.”

            “I really am sorry, April.”

            “You better not have been reading your mom’s letters, Tory. I swear that if I find out you were than it will be the end of our friendship.”

            April hung up and I stared guiltily at the letters. Since I had missed musical practice for the night, I wanted to continue reading. I had also been neglecting my homework though and I knew that I should work on that. When I finally met my mother, I didn’t want to tell her about bad grades. After all, she was valedictorian of her class.

 

 

 

 

Chapter 7

 

            I found myself sitting alone at lunch. I had apologized to Mr. Cooper and the rest of the cast but they weren’t very willing to forgive me. Especially since April told them I had missed rehearsal because I was reading my mom’s letters.

            I found I didn’t mind sitting alone though. I wouldn’t be interrupted from my reading.

           

Dear Tory,

            I found God today! This is the best day of my life! I hope that someday you will find God and then you will have a day like mine. I will be praying for you.

            See, last week I was feeling very down. Some of the comments people say are very hurtful. I told Steve about it and he said that he would pray for me. The comments stopped the next day! It was a miracle!

            I had never given much thought to religion before but after the miracle happened, I decided maybe God deserved my attention. I told Steve this and he suggested that I come with him to church. I wasn’t sure about that because I am a pregnant teenager. I know that is not looked highly upon at the church. Steve convinced me it would be fine though so I went.

            The minute I walked through the door, I was welcomed. People at the door greeted me and before church even started, the pastor and several others introduced themselves to me.

            Church wasn’t boring either. There was a band that played really upbeat songs and people were shouting ‘Amen’ all the time. It was so awesome.

            Then, the pastor came up to speak. He talked about how we are all sinners. I already knew that because I am a pregnant teenager. The pastor said though that to God, alls sins are the same and that we are all condemned to eternal death. Thankfully, Jesus came to Earth to die for our sins. As long as we accept this forgiveness, we can be saved. We will spend eternity in Heaven.

            After the pastor got done, he asked if anyone was ready to make the decision to accept this forgiveness. I went forward and told the pastor I was ready. I wanted to live my life for God.

            A few minutes later, I was baptized. My sins are no more, Tory! I couldn’t be happier! I only hope that someday you will give your life to God. I don’t want you to have eternal death.

            Love,

            Mom

 

            My parents had never been one for religion. We had gone to church a few times but I think the only reason we did was so that Kayla and I could have a brief understanding of religion.

            My real mom found religion important though and I wanted to share this interest with her. She would probably take me to church once we finally meet.

            I looked around the cafeteria for Trinity. She is known around the school as a religion fanatic. She would know how I could be baptized, just like my mom.

            “Hi, Trinity,” I said as I approached the table where she was sitting with her friends. “Can I talk to you about something?”

            “Sure, have a seat.”

            I sat down across from her and took a deep breath. “I just learned about baptism and I am interested in becoming baptized.”

            “What led to this decision?” Trinity asked excitedly.

            “My mom went to church and wrote that she wanted to give her life to God. Then, she was baptized and her sins were washed away. She said it was the best day of her life.”

            “It was the best day of my life too,” Trinity said. “But, Tory, are you sure you aren’t rushing into this?”

            “Maybe, but why should I wait?”  

            “I like your answer but I still think you are being a little hasty here. I have never seen you express any interest in God before now. Maybe you should think and pray things over. Let God show you His love and reveal His plans for you. I also invite you to come to church on Sunday.”

            “Fine, I will be there.” I would only go that way I could be baptized, just like my mom had been.

 

Chapter 8

 

            On Sunday, I went to church by myself. I tried to convince one of my friends to go with me but they were all still mad about me missing musical practice.

            “Good morning,” a couple said as I walked through the door.

            “Good morning,” I answered back as we shook hands.

            I went and took a seat. The place was filling up quickly. I recognized several people from school but they were busy talking to other people.

            “Good morning,” a young guy said. “Welcome to Community Christian Church. I am Pastor Peter.”

            “Tory,” I replied.

            “Welcome,” he said and then he left to greet someone else.

            I felt like this was probably similar to what my mom had experienced when she went to church with Steve several years ago.

            A couple girls walked by me, chattering loudly. They both were probably about four years old. They had dark hair and had on matching pink dresses.

            Right behind them was a boy that had to be about seven. He had to be their brother. He had the same colored hair.

            The kids and their parents sat a couple rows ahead of me. The girls kept turning around to talk to a girl about their age behind them.

            Those girls could almost be my sisters. We both had the same color of skin and hair. In fact, I am pretty sure I looked like them when I was four.

            It wouldn’t be impossible for me to be sisters with the girls. After all, my mom had probably decided she was ready to have kids of her own a few years later.

            I tried to get a glimpse of the mom but she never turned around and I couldn’t get a look at her face.

            All through the service, I was very focused, on the twins’ mom that is. Don’t ask me what was discussed because I couldn’t tell you. All I wanted to do was see the woman’s face.

            After church, I thought I would get a chance to see her as she was leaving but there were so many people that she got lost in the crowd.

            I was going to have to come back next week and try to get a look.

 

Dear Tory,

            I graduated from high school today. I had been looking forward to graduation for years. Not only did graduation mean the end of high school, but it also meant that all the hard work had been worth something.

            Graduation was not what I thought it would be. Sure, I was valedictorian, but I really wish I had never had to get up front and give a speech. It is very obvious that I am pregnant and a couple people booed when I was speaking.

            All of my friends were busy getting pictures with each other. They didn’t want me in them though. They didn’t want the pictures tainted by a person who is pregnant. That would just mean a lot of explanations, according to them.

            Oh, well, who needs them? In a few days, you will be born and then I will be able to go off to college and start my life over. And this time, I will have God with me. Hopefully I can make some good decisions with Him.

            Love,

            Mom

 

Chapter 9

 

            Monday morning I woke up with a very sore throat and was unable to go to school. Instead, my grandma dropped me off at the clinic, promising to return when I got done.

            Since I didn’t have an appointment, I decided to pass the time with one of my mom’s letters.

 

Dear Tory,

            Welcome to the world! I must say the labor wasn’t fun but after you were born, I forgot all about it. Seeing you made it all worth it.

            You are going to be staying with me for a few days in the hospital and then you are going to go live with your parents. They are going to be so excited to find out that you have been born.    

            Love,

            Mom

 

            I wondered if my mom found those few days with me to be the best days of her life. They probably were for me. I only wished I could remember my mom holding me in her arms and looking into my eyes, smiling.

            “Tory,” the nurse called, interrupting me from my dream.        

            The nurse led me to an exam room and took my temperature. She left with the promise that the doctor would be in shortly.

            I had no sooner opened my book of letters when the doctor walked in. She looked first from me and then at the file in her hands. She looked very confused about something.

            The doctor looked very familiar. I don’t know where I would have seen her before though.

            “Are you Tory Wright?” the doctor asked.

            “Yeah.” Who else would I be? There was no one else here.

            The doctor eyed the book of letters in my lap and suddenly her eyes got very watery.

            Suddenly, I knew who this doctor was and why she looked familiar. This woman was my biological mother.

            “Mom?” I said.

            “I am not your mother, Tory,” she said firmly. “Melissa Wright is your mother.”

            “You are still the woman who gave me life! Don’t you care about what has happened to me in the last fifteen years?”

            “Tory, it wasn’t easy giving you up for adoption. I knew it would be best for both of us though. And when I turned you over to Kent and Melissa, I knew that it was good bye forever. As much as I loved you, I didn’t want to be anymore attached to you. I also didn’t want to do anything to hurt Kent and Melissa. I knew you would have questions but I didn’t want you to come find me. That is why I wrote you the letters. I thought I made my point very clear at the end.”

            “I haven’t gotten to the end yet. I only recently found out that I was adopted.”

            “You will see in time.”

            “So you aren’t the least bit curious about me?” I was trying to control the tears that were threatening.”

            “I didn’t say that, Tory. I don’t want to know you though. You are the daughter of Kent and Melissa. They are your parents.”

            “So you want nothing to do with me at all?” I was stunned. This wasn’t what I was expecting.

            “I’m sorry, Tory. It’s all for the best.”

            “But it isn’t the best for me!” Tears were freely falling now.

            “Tory, I will give you a few minutes alone to compose yourself and then I will send another doctor in.” My mom walked out of the room without another look back.

            A few minutes weren’t enough to calm down after your mother walks out on you. Thankfully, the next doctor didn’t ask any questions. He did his job and left.

            “Are you all right, Tory?” my grandma asked when I got in the car.

            “My birth mother was the doctor,” I said.

            “And what happened?” Grandma asked cautiously.

            “She wanted nothing to do with me!” I burst into tears.

            Grandma didn’t say anything. She just patted my back and let me cry.

 

Chapter 10

           

Dear Tory,

            Today is the day when you will join your parents. I know there will be a lot of tears on my part but it is all for the best. I will always love you, Tory, and I will think of you often.

            I know many adopted kids have a curiosity about their biological parents. I do not want you to try to find me though. I do not want you to do anything that could possibly upset Kent and Melissa.

            Tory, I thank God that He brought you into my life. I will be praying that you will find Him.

            Love,

            Mom

 

            I put the letters down, feeling stunned. I almost wished that I had never been given the letters. They had made such a mess of my life. And what had been the result? Nothing! I found out that my mom wants nothing to do with me.

            “Lord,” I prayed for the first time in my life, “I have got a lot of issues in my life, all because of my mom’s letters. The letters have destroyed my friendships and left me with intense feelings about my mom. If I could go back to the time before I found out that I was adopted, I would. Lord, I pray that You would come into my life. Please help me move on. Help me correct my relationships and help me live my life for You. Lord, I thank You for also giving me parents that chose me as their daughter. Amen.”

            “Are you all right, Tory?” my mom asked as she came into the room. “Grandma told me what happened today.”

            “Mom, thanks for being my mom. I am the luckiest girl in the world because I have parents that actually picked me out.”

            Mom smiled and then hugged me.

            “Could you give me some privacy? I need to apologize to my friends.”

            “Of course, Tory. Please don’t wear yourself out though.”

            “I won’t, Mom.”

 

Chapter 11

 

            My friends hadn’t been quite as forgiving as my mom but when they saw that I no longer was carrying the book of letters, they agreed to eat lunch with me.

            “So what caused the change?” April asked.

            I told my friends about meeting my mom.

            “I’m sorry, Tory,” Kristina said.

            “Don’t be. I am the luckiest girl in the world. My parents actually chose me. They really do want me.”

            “So what are you going to do with the letters?”

            “I thought about burning them but then I realized that even though I will probably never read them again, I did learn something from them.”

            “Like what?”

            “My mom talked about how she became a Christian when she was pregnant. At first, I wanted to become a Christian just because my mom was one. That is the wrong reason though. After realizing what a mess I made of my life for the last few weeks, I realized that I needed God to heal my broken heart and to correct the mistakes I had made. I also realized that God has blessed me by giving me my parents and sister. I want God in my life and I want to live my life for Him.”

            “So are you going to go back to the same church even though your mom is there?”

            “At first I was thinking that I wouldn’t. My biological mother lives in the same town as me though. We are probably going to run into each other once in awhile. Besides, I feel like God is telling me to go back to that church.”

            “It’s not like you have to talk to her.”

            “Exactly. And it would probably be awkward for both of us if we did.”

            “Did you say that you have twin sisters and a brother?”

            “I’m guessing that I do. I don’t know if we just have the same mom or if we also have the same dad. I am guessing that my biological mother will never tell them about me and doesn’t want me to go anywhere near them.”

            “Do you think the girls will get suspicious as they get older if they realize they look like you?”

            “They might but that isn’t my problem. I have a sister and her name is Kayla.”

            “Do you think you will always have a curiosity about your other family?”

            “I probably will but I will be praying that God will not let it develop any further. Like I said, I have a family and they chose me. And now, I choose them!”

           

Chapter 12

 

            After a couple of weeks of going to church (my mom and I ignored each other) I decided I was ready to be baptized. I met with the pastor a few days before to discuss what led to my decision.

            “If you have a decision to make,” the pastor said after he got done with his sermon, “I invite you to come forward at this time.”

            The worship band started playing a song and everyone started singing.

            April, Margo, and Kristina looked at me and smiled. They had all started coming to church after I told them how I gave my life to God.

            I got up and walked to the front of the church. While everyone was singing, I looked out at all the people. My mom and her family were all sitting towards the left. My mom kept glancing at me.

            After the song ended, the pastor addressed the congregation.

            “Tory has come forward today to be baptized. Tory, I have one question for you and I already know the answer. Do you accept the forgiveness given to you through the death of Jesus Christ, our Savior and Lord?”

            “I do,” I said.

            The worship band played another song white the pastor and I went to change into shorts and t-shirts.

            Once the song was finished, we descended the stairs into the water located at the front of the church. The pastor dunked me completely under water.

            As I emerged, I could see the congregation standing and applauding.

            Once church was over, people I didn’t even know were coming up to me and congratulating me on my decision.

            “Congratulations,” a voice said behind me.

            I turned around and saw my biological mother. She was teary eyed but also looked proud.

            “Thanks,” I said before my mom walked away.

            It was then that I realized that my mom really did care about me and wouldn’t be able to stop. She cared enough about me that she didn’t want to get involved. She didn’t want to make life difficult by trying to come into my life when I already had parents.

            Silently, I thanked God for both my adoptive parents as well as my biological mother.