"The Replica of a Glass Princess"

This is a rewrite of "Confessions of a Glass Princess"

She was manufactured in a place of doom, produced out of darkness and suffering. Assembled by hands of blood and blisters, created out of misery and born from pain. Put together carefully by a strategic design, every piece delicately placed and skillfully put together. Flawless ivory skin of ceramic, hair impeccably curled and always in place, a painted on face with a smile of pure perfection. Confined in a glass case for display, eloquently dressed and poised politely to exploit her youth and innocence. Waiting imprisoned, high on her shelf soon to be sold to the first buyer she entices with her silent seduction. She is the Glass Princess.

Emotionless and beautiful, the mask that she wears carefully conceals the vacancy off all thoughts and feelings that are forbidden, she is only to be seen. Her only aim is to please the one who will soon own her. She sits in peace, content to the existence, designated by fate it's self. Even though I have never known the contempt of peace, the Glass Princess and I coincide. I too convey a painted on smile day after day, a carbon copy of the empty fabricated shell of porcelain elegance.

Unlike her, behind a perfectly painted on smile, I carry the burden of a storm conjured out of misery and pain. A broken heart, a wounded soul, a mother without her children. Stolen from loving arms, a family violently ripped away by ignorance and lies while manipulation and greed took life. My life, my purpose, and my reason to wake up every morning, all gone in a blink of an eye. It was the love I had for my family that kept me grounded and focused, when it was taken by deceit and betrayal, it left an emptiness that plagued the very core of my soul. No amount of drugs or alcohol will ever be able to fill this massive nothingness within me.

The corruption and betrayal behind this horrific loss has left me the inability to ever trust or feel, for that pain has consumed me and has left no room for anything else. I have now been condemned to the confined solitude filled with a vacancy that has become my only comfort. I roam this earth as the forgery of the person you think me to be. I envy that Glass Princess, she will never feel the exploitation and anguish I have been condemned too, day after day. She has been placed high on a pedestal, revered as the delicate treasure that she is.

By dumb luck and sheer carelessness, the fragile porcelain doll falls to her demise. As that beautiful ceramic princess shatters on the floor, I envy her still. The blessing that as been bestowed on her, is that she shall never feel the cracking, breaking, that her porcelain body will display. The fall I have taken has not been so merciful. I have felt every stab, every fracture, every crack, and ever break, from the fall I have endured. The internal wounds I have suffered I fear may never heal or be the same as before.

As this costume I model in the masquerade that is my life begins to smoother me, I feel the familiar exhaustion and weariness settling in. My confidence and faith continue to fade. With every wrong turn and dead end, this maze of manipulation becomes more insurmountable. Deception lurks around every corner and every shadow spills hatred. 
The eyes see what the brain wants them to see, and we are told to see nothing other than that required by the powerful. Taught what to think, instead of how to think, we let the words of the self-righteous convince us of their integrity, instead of shutting out their words and judging on actions. It is these that will ultimately reveal their true character. 
If this could be taught and practiced, we could fight against the manipulation and deception that has shattered so many lives. Meanwhile, the Glass Princess lies shattered on the floor, never to be the same again. I ache, for she and I are one.
12/14/2012      -JS-

Author's Note

please excuse the grammar and punctuation