deep Blue Sky!!

well this is a poem i wrote back in 2009... just hope you like it.,....

Deep Blue sky,

As I look up at the sky I see a beautiful blue sky.

I see a bird fly by.

I look down at the ground.

I see green grass, and thank God for all the beautiful things.

I look back up at the sky and listen to the birds chirp.

I see the pretty clouds go by.

Oh what a Joy.

The End,

BY:Jennifer Little

Author's Note

this is my poem when i wrote it back in 2009 when i first started writing poetry ,,,,, i have always writen stories and books since i was in 2nd grade but started writing poems back in 2009 when i was 17 i loved it started researching more to find out how and what to make my poems better and sound good ....

well just let me know what you think

Reviews

[Marie]

THis is a nice, joyful poem. To make the flow smoother I would change the first line to "When I look up I see a beautiful blue sky."

[Careless Whispers ._.]

this is beautiful :)

[Angelic Surrender]

This is beautiful :)

[Who Cares]

I like the poem, the imagery is vivid. Though in your first line "As I look up at the sky I see a beautiful blue sky" I would suggest revising that. You repeat the word sky twice and it takes away the flow of your poem. I would suggest something like, " I look to the sky composed of baby blue" just a thought. At any rate kkep writing you definatly have talent.

[Alex Vidmar]

This is really wonderful. Your imagery is amazing. :) i love your works! keep me posted!