Guardian Angel!

this is about living in a dark world and that there is noone there that will help you if you need help

 

  Guardian Angel!

 

    I'm living in a dark world

    There are Angels and Demons.

    There is no help here.

    You have to help yourself.

    I see a wolf,

    Its mean and growling and foaming at the mouth.

    Help, Help I cry

    No one helps they just turn away.

    Help, Help, Help I cry again,

   Nothing

   Then out of nowhere out pops a big beautiful Angel.

   The Angel yells go go now never come back here again.

    The Angel had really beautiful white wings and a white rob on, the wings spared out really wide .

    She was beautiful.

  I thank her and say thanks my sweet Angel for watching over me.

 

 

 

 

      The End,

 

 

  By: Jennifer Little

 

Author's Note

this is about an angel that saved a girl that was in trouble and noone would help her .
i thought it was really good and a good idea to write it ...
tell me what you think ....
write me a review on this

i read over and fixed the errors and spelling and grammer

Reviews

[Chris T.]

It's a great image and idea to work with. The wolf, the angel, and the little girl all have the potential to offer powerful symbolism, but the difficulty is revealing that to the readers. I agree with Marie, you should go back through it and look for mistakes made while typing it. I would also recommend looking at how the lines are structured, there are some places where line breaks could accentuate what is being said and draw more attention to the immediate image.
For instance:
The angel yells," Go, go now and never come back here again."
You could play with that and turn it into:
"The angel yells," Go!
Go now, and never come back here again."

Just breaking one of the "Go"s from the rest of the line impresses on the reader the immediacy of the word.

Keep playing with it, finding your style, and never stop writing!

[jennifer little]

this is a poem

[Marie]

It was a very good idea to write it. It's a fine, inspiring story for those who believe in angels, and even for those who don't. You need to go back over it and look for mistakes.