Flashed before my eyes!

just another poem about my life

                                   original version 

                          My life flashed before my eyes, 

                          Thought i had everything, 

                           The love of my life,    

                            All my dreams came true, 

                             My life got wrapped up into drugs, 

                            Alcohol , 

                          No where to escape, 

                           All the abuse, 

                         Emotionally, 

                         Physically, 

                          Mentally, 

                           My life became full of depression, 

                         Full of hatred, 

                         I was just a scared girl, 

                         Someone who was scared to stand up for herself, 

                         Someone trying to fit in, 

                          Made so many mistakes, 

                          Crying out to God, 

                          No anwsers, 

                           Got to get away, 

                              Escape, 

                           Decided to wake up one day, 

                           I left, 

                         I went back home, 

                        Back home where i was safe, 

                        Where i was excepted, 

                       No more pain, 

                      No more suffering, 

                        No more dugs, 

                          No more alcohol, 

                        Nomore fear, 

                        Living for God, 

                        Gods with me, 

                         He is by my side, 

                       He changed me, 

                        I'm living free, 

                            So much better, 

                          No more pain, 

                           No more fear, 

                     Thank you God

                     

                                      new version 

                                  flashed before my eyes!

          my life hit me so fast, 

        it flashed before my eyes, 

thought i had everything, 

     the love of my life, 

     all my dreams came true, 

   my life got mixed up, 

   got into drugs, 

 started drinking, 

there was no escape, 

all the abuse never goes away, 

emotional, 

physical, 

and mentally abused, 

hurt with frustration and pain, 

hatred settling in, 

there was no hope, 

just a scared girl, 

to scared to stand up for herself, 

just someone trying to fit in, 

made some mistakes, 

crying out to god, 

but no response, 

got to get away,

time to escape, 

decided to wake up and leave, 

no more pain, 

no more suffering, 

no more drugs, 

no more drinking, 

no more fear, 

for i am set free, 

god is with me, 

by myside, 

he changed me, 

im living free, 

so much better, 

no more pain, 

nomore fear, 

thank you God

          

Author's Note

let me know what you think do you like the original one or new version better

Reviews

[Lisasview]

Really so sad but glad you got out.
Check your spelling in your first draft.
and, did you mean to put the lines the way they are or??

[jennifer little]

thank you for your review

[Lisasview]

You are welcome..

[jennifer little]

i have been paying more and more attention to my grammar and spelling for my new poems compared to when i first started off suggestions and help is always welcome with me as long as it is not rude or mean

[Lisasview]

Well, hopefully no one will be mean or rude to you..
I was only lending a helping hand..
read moreWell, hopefully no one will be mean or rude to you..
I was only lending a helping hand..
It is so hard to make things right..don't you think..
I am involved for the first time ever..writing Sonnets..boy is that ever a challenge..talk about hard!! I go over and over every single word..for spelling, etc. Of course my computer does a lot of that part for me. I appreciate your responding in such a nice open way.

[jennifer little]

yes i know and i appriciate it thatnk you

[Francis Rosenfeld]

I am so glad you found home

[jennifer little]

thanks for ur review