Venge's

thought it would make a great song i have two versions let me know what one is better first or second

      first version 

The venge's of our sorrow, ...
The venge's of our pain,
No more regret,
No more pain,
The drug's running through our veins,
Tormented souls,
Your faith is lost,
Nothing left,
You must die,
The zombie's are a coming ,
The want to come out,
The demons from hell,
Want your soul,

The venge's running through our veins,
The venge's of our soul,
Pain and suffering soon to come,
The drugs running through our veins,
The power is strong ,
Your hope is lost,
Your soul is mine,
Keep on running,
There's no where to hide,
We will find you,
The venge's of our sorrows ,
The venge's of our pain,
No more regret,
No more pain,
The devil will take your soul.

  second version 

 venges

  the venges of our sorrows, 

pain from our venges, 

there will be no more pain, 

no more regret, 

the drugs running through our veins, 

tormented souls, 

your fait is lost, 

nothing left, 

you must die, 

the rumbling is starting as the zombies start to step in, 

they want to come out for your soul, 

the demons from hell, 

it's only started to begin, 

the demons from hell want your soul, 

pain and suffering soon to come, 

the drugs running through our veins, 

the power is strong, 

all hope is lost, 

your soul is mine, 

keep on running as the zombies walk past, 

your soul is theirs, 

keep running, 

nowhere to hide, 

they will find you, 

the venges of our sorrows, 

the venges of our pain, 

no more regret, 

no more pain, 

the devil will soon take your soul

Author's Note

tell me what you think !

Reviews

[Emily]

Vary nice poem you got here!
Keep it up!!

[wordman]

yeah this is your calling,this is what you write best