Dark love!

a dark love poem i wrote hope you like it ....

  

   first version  

 

   It's a night of ethereal pain,

 A song of sorrow,

Wolves vent their pain,

The immortal one rise's,

Her black cascades over,

Fragile milk- white shoulders,

And her full crimson lies parts lightly to taste the red tears from steaming from the pale flesh beneath her,

Now a night of ecstasy,

And lots of fun,

Love drawn to the night sky,

I now have hunger upon human flesh,

 

 

   It's a night of dark desire,

A song of ethereal pain,

Wolves vent their cry,

The eternal one arises,

Evil surrounds her,

Evil shrieking the night sky,

 

    Evil shrouds her stalking form,

Her midnight hair cascades over pale tragic shoulders,

And her full blood red lips part slightly,

To taste the sould streaming from the pale flesh beneath her,

Now a night of new life,

I have a risen,

And ready to feed.

   second version 

   dark love, 

it's a night of urethral pain, 

a song of sorrow, 

wolves vent their pain, 

the immortal one rises, 

her black cascades over, 

fragile milk - white shoulders, 

and her full crimson lies parts lightly to taste the red tears streaming from the pale flesh beneath her, 

now a night of ecstasy, 

and lots of fun, 

love drawn to the sky, 

i now have hunger upon human flesh, 

 

it's a night of dark desire, 

a song of ethereal pain, 

wolves vent their cry, 

the ethernal ones arises, 

evil surrounds her, 

evil shrieking the night sky, 

evil surrounds her stalking form, 

her midnight hair cascades over pale tragic shoulders and her full blood red lips part slightly, 

to taste the soul, 

she's screaming from the pale flesh beneath her, 

now a night of a new life, 

i have risen from the dark side, 

and i'm ready to feast upon new souls 

Author's Note

let me know what you think of this vampire dark poem
do you like the first version better or the second

Reviews

[Coffee Vampier]

Sounds like a harlot in a horror flick

[SmittyJas]

WIth such a great tale you must be at this for a long time so much prestige in every Vampire"s line. The latest instrument of this poetry lines. Lays back a chill in my spine your have special rhyme and skill dropping down every word with so much skill. Giving life to vampire's must be such a thrill.

[Emrick]

What a terrifying verse!
I enjoyed reading this. I'm a fan of vampires and genies.

[TPK Stories]

i love reading about vampires

[Pryde Foltz]

Her black cascades over,
Fragile milk- white shoulders,
And her full crimson lies parts lightly to tast the red tears from steaming from the pale flesh beneath her,

The imagery is very rich:)

[stars are far]

That was a good work here, but im sorry to say its not your best work.. but the idea was good :)

[Ryan Henderson]

OH MY GOODNESS I LOVE IT! I love the whole 'dark love' concept, I love this poem, I love your work, keep it up, please!