That was cool :) I haven't read a poem with good rhythm use like that in a while. You might want to get ride of the space between the word before the comma just so it looks better but I wouldn't change a single word of it. Nicely done :)
This one just sort of moved along the page...I got into the rhythm very quickly, and the imagery came to life. A great piece for "All Hallow's Eve"...nicely done!
Definitely a good start. If I were you, which I obviously am not, I would add more descriptive language and take away a few of the tick tocks. But for a last minute thing, it isn't too bad.
I like it jenn- the tick-tocks is a good idea as if counting down when they will arrive , i am
taking your advice and staying indoors ~ and hello to you too )
hi im jen i am a single mother of one daughter .
i struggle from ptsd depression and anxiety .
from being in abusive realationships .
i enjoy the outdoors , nature swimming fishing camping boat.. more..