This Thing Called Love

Confusion

I guess i just need some advice. Me and my boyfriend have been together almost a year now ... now i have serious trust issues due to the fact ive been hurt alot in my life and lied to, and friends and such told me he was a big time player and all he wanted was sex. Well from the begining he was truthful and honest and everything he does and says checks up so he can't be lying, even though it may be weird I checked and still continue to check. But anyway he has 3 beautiful kids with another women which he and her was together for 7 years, so naturally comming into a relationship with that much baggage i may have been scared and didnt know how to handle it but i took things as i normally do with a boyfriend and his X-girlfriend I defended myself and demanded respect as in NO CONTACT!! the way there relationship ended was bad...  his kids ages are 6,5,4 which is hard because im only 20 years old and dont know how to swollow the fact that he HAS to talk to her... my jelousy gets the best of me because they had (a family) and im scared he will end up running back to her... but he is so into me and does things to show that, but at the same time he also has times where he is distant and then i freak out.. always thinking negative and that somethings wrong with me :/ now our age difference may be another conflict he is 27 and im 20 hes on a different level in his life than i am but somehow it always works out.. now we use to spend every second together and now hes working all the time and i will start working soon and time will be far and few for us which also scares me because i don't want our relationship to fall apart but he claims he will make time for us, which im crossing my fingers he keeps his word. Im really in love with this guy and he is in love with me and we talk all the time about getting a place once we get on our feet and getting married and even building a family together which is crazy to talk about with only being together a year but im really in love with him and want this to work out.. call me crazy but im really ready to start a life with this guy but we have our times where we fight like cats and dogs and say hurtful things but once we both calm down were okay again... i cannot explain the feeling this guy gives me, from his smile and amazing blue eyes and his personality is just as mine his kisses leave me breathless and hugs as well .. i think its real love this time : )

Author's Note

hopefully you guys understand where im comming from