Only Death

Only Death

Sometimes I see only death

Sometimes I want to rest

I want to feel your breath

But sometimes I want to rest

 

I miss your mid night snacks

The times I’d never rest

Honey Buns ‘till the morning sun

The loneliness has just begun

 

Sometimes I want to rest

Sometimes I only see death

I always want to feel your heart

Why? Oh why must we be apart?

 

I miss your simple “I love you”’s

I even miss the thought of you

 

Sometimes I want to smile

Even if just for awhile

I bet I could see your smile

Even from that far mile

 

Sometimes I don’t see your death

Sometimes I see your smile

Even from that far mile

And sometimes I even smile

Yet sometimes I just want to take a breath

Because sometimes I just want to rest.

Author's Note

This is about my memories of my grandmother.

Reviews

[>.]

I'm sorry about the loss of your grandmother. This was a beautiful poem and i'm sure she'll be extremely proud and even cry reading this wherever she maybe. The cutest thing is her calling you "Honey bun's" She sounds like a wonderful lady, this piece was touching.
I notice you asked other reviewers what didn't work or stood out, I'll be honest with you and say what worked was the feelings and emotion driven throughout the piece, plus there was an innocence and part of it that was extremely cute. What didn't work was the repetitiveness, add some word play and dabble with rhyming schemes in the future to cultivate this amazing talent you have.

[Jenny]

wow thank you so much :D

[Valentine]

Sounds like me thinking of my departed husband. They are gone, but not forgotten. Valentine

[Jenny]

Thank you for taking the time to read it! And thank you for your kind words

[Sadiesmiles]

Great piece!!! You're very talented....:)....

[Jenny]

thank you was there anything that didnt work or was there anything specificly that stood out ???

[Sadiesmiles]

My favourite part is the line: I miss your simple 'I love you''s I even miss the thought of you. I don't know why I love this specific line, but I think this poem is amazing.

[Jenny]

thank you!!!!!!!!!!

[yashmita13]

its beautiful.............

[Jenny]

thank you was there anything that didnt work or was there anything specificly that stood out ???