CONFESSIONS OF A LIFE PLANNER

Did somebody say that “if you have 100 hours to cut a tree, you should spend 90 hours sharpening the knife”.. or something like that?

         I don’t think he knows how much he influenced me into doing nothing else but planning all my life. I just finished my hundredth mission-plan and as usual I am eagerly waiting to start on it tomorrow.

I am sure you have a little smirk on your face and you are thinking “Another lazy person putting off her work for tomorrow”. But you know what; all my mission-plans start with 100% dedication and supersonic speed. I accomplish each and every task of my to-do list. This continues for a few days and the motivation levels drop. Also I become busy finishing my other inevitable daily jobs, like homework. And by then, I am too exhausted and too bored to follow my mission plan.

            

                     I have to tell you a little about myself to make you understand this correctly. Even though I can talk about myself for hours, I promise that I will make my introduction brief and as interesting as possible.

 

                      I’m a 22 year old girl who means nothing more than a lazy stupid girl next door to everybody else in this world. I have grown to believe that there is only one person who loves me unconditionally. And that is me. I am not very smart and I have no direction in life. I do not know what to do. But I dream and I don’t even know how to make them come true. So, I choose a lot my steps based on impulse. For example, I picked my undergrad major based on impulse and advice. I didn’t even know what it was about, not that I know about it now. But now I know that it doesn’t interest me much. But I want to stick to this because I hate giving up. I don’t hate change, but I hate accepting failure. I don’t know if this is arrogance. Well, I think I am smart. So if somebody can do it, so can I. So for the last 1 year, I have been studying harder than I have ever imagined I would. Before last year, I never really studied except before exams and then I would get very disappointed for not getting good grades like my friends, who also studied like me. So I lazed around and took life easy. And then all of a sudden, my life changed. A miracle happened and changed my life forever. I started studying. It wasn’t easy. I learnt through criticism, facing distractions. But it was very important to me. I had to focus and learn. Although I worked very hard during my first semester of masters, I ended up with really bad grades. But I learnt so much and the feeling was great. But grades matter. So I started my second semester with bitterness to defeat the whole GPA system with my mission plans. Every few weeks, I would write up a plan focusing on so some common important things like my weight, learning, studying, mood swings, social life etc. But I lose my interest because I cannot stop focusing on the result! I want to drop pounds, have a flat tummy, get flawless skin in a week. Also, I want to top some course and finish my homework really fast. How will it happen when I just started studying? But I am tired and bored of trying. My second semester was even worse. My GPA dropped.

Anyways, this time my mission plan is focused on finding the right direction instead of just wandering in search of the final destination. I am looking forward to a tomorrow full of opportunities. I am prepared to fail and even more prepared to utilize everything that comes my way.

Author's Note

Thank you for reading. I love comments.!