Unexpected Results

a poem in five parts about waiting for results

TO DO:

Going through my mind

So much I have to do

Today is a hard day

Just like every other day

 

My stomach twists around

Inside of me

Betraying me

What am I doing

To myself right now

In this moment

Today is a hard day

I can’t do

The

Things

I

Have

To

I have to

The day is hard

My stomach has nothing to do with it

 

Pulse

When it churns

I churn along

As if I’ve earned

The beating song

A pulse grows strong

So long

It burns

How can I go on

My charred hands yearn

Smooth sleek skin

Not married with sweat

For a time with peace

A bird that sings

The world just sleeps

I sleep

I have slept too long

Can I earn back

My beating song?

 

                  The Battle

What more do I have

To live for in this land

Of books that tower

Too far above

I don’t know if they will fall

But I really need

The one on the top shelf

I need something

So small

I need a friend

A mighty soldier

One who can handle

The coming battle

Because we all know

That books can fall

And so can I

 

                  Whose fault?

A girl

Just a girl

With a big battle in front of her

She sits in a waiting chair

Plastic and hard

White walls

A clock

Tick tick tick

Tapping foot

Tap

Tap

A place to be nervous in

A place to be ready

To jump out of her skin

Tap tap tap

Motion keeps her moving

Tap tap tap

In a world that won’t give in

The pressure is on her

Quick

When the doctors not looking

Suck back your tears 

For when the doctors come and say

There is nothing they can do

It’s not her fault

But she has to deal with it

She's in pain

 

                  The Concept of Luck

Rabbit foot-

Luck-

A dead thing

It sits on a shelf

Gathering dust

What concepts

We try to take in

Internalizing

These endless grins

When

A four leaf clover-

Luck-

Is a dead brown plant-

In a field of doubt