REMEMBERING MY MOM(AND MY STEPDAD, TOO)...

A beautiful essay about how I should honor my mom & my stepfather.

   With Mother's Day coming up on the 13th of this year, I began to think, as I had already begun to think that my aunt had somehow been like a mother to me, about my own real mom and how she would almost always be there for me in spite of her struggles with alcoholism. She died in October of 2004, and so with each Mother's Day that since came and went since her passing, it just somehow tears me to think at even the thought of Mother's day and how not wanting to ever celebrate it again since my mom had died...
         However, my stepfather became a mom to me in addition to his duties as a dad, until his own passing in December of 2011, which was 6 and a 1/2 years ago; You know, I would also sometimes shudder at the thought of the fact that Father's Day would be coming up every year, and not wanting to celebrate that holiday anymore either...But since my stepdad's passing and my move from Philadelphia, PA to Dover, Delaware, somehow my uncle took up that fatherly role whenever he offers me advice.
         Now, I know a lot about my mother; For years I have been putting up with her despicable alcoholism as well as her mental illness, but despite those flaws, I loved her, while I had been hoping and praying for my mom to quit drinking. Yes, she had quit drinking, but on certain occasions, she would always go back to the bottle but has since been out of it. Just before her death, she had been addicted to some pills in which I forget what they were; Those pills would make her say the wrong things, or maybe worse. On other times, mom and dad would bicker. 

         Even though she had been fighting alcohol, drugs, and even mental illness for years, my mom loved me, and I loved her so very much; I had even kept a close eye on my mom, even on that very day when she had died on an October morning in 2004. When she had died right in front of me, I cried. I had been trying to forget that tragic day, but that painful memory would occasionally come back. I have also been trying as very hard as I could not to ever fall into that same dark trap that my mom, as well as my dad, had been through, and I am still here in the light: I gave my heart to Jesus in the year 2000, and I have been following Him for 18 years now, and still do; I still ask the Lord God to continue to help me before it would be too late for me, too.
         There happens to be another obstacle in which I have also faced, and that was the fact that my stepfather became addicted to heroin: Before he died in December of 2011, he had been selling almost all of his possessions, including nearly me and mom's, so that he could get the money to buy all of the heroin that he could just so that he could just shoot it up into his arms. I have been putting up with that pain as much as with my mom's drinking; But since he had been going into detox to get off that stinkin' drug, my stepfather had been clean. When he died on December 29th, 2011, I broke down, too. I only wish that my own dad would stay alive for many, many more years so that we could have many, many more memories together...
         But in the here and now, with Mother's Day coming up once again this year, I have planned something special that just might help me ease those painful memories of their deaths that would otherwise cause me to not care about either Mother's or Father's Day at all: I have both of my mom's as well as my dad's ashes in separate boxes, and I have just bought white roses from an arts and crafts shop; Just before Mother's Day, I plan to place them on those boxes in which their ashes are stored. Hopefully, that would be a beautifully blessed way to honor my mom, as well as my dad, because, despite their flaws, they were my parents after all. 

Author's Note

This essay happens to be a difficult one to write, but I had managed to have enough courage to write it and to share it with all of you. Please let me know what you think of my story.-JW

Reviews

[Riddhi]

I can understand that it must have been difficult for you to share it...And i wish that your mom and dad's soul rest in peace..Often our loved ones become victim of drugs and alcohol..I hope that you will be following the path that you chose in your life without every falling prey to such things..I can understand the pain and agony within you..And actually its good that you wrote all this here because actually when we write something and when we take everything out of our heart in the form of writing , it makes us feel better..I would love to help you if I can in any way possible..And remember me and this writers cafe site we are always here to hear to your problems and pain...I feel bad for you but there is nothing I can do right now except telling you that everyone will get fine and you are a brave girl...I know you will live with all the pain and wherever they might be they will always love you...
Keep writing...

[Jennifer Webster]

Thank you so very much for this review; I loved it, and I shall keep on the path without falling into those evil traps, with God's help.-JW

[Riddhi]

Your welcome..And actually reading your writings transferred positive energy into me...You are indeed a great writer...